Butterflying Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 "When I'm with the right girl, one who really "gets me," I'm the perfect gentleman. I can control my tendancy to be rude or mean. Otherwise, I can be a real jerk." This is what I was told by a guy who isn't sure he and I are compatible. We've been dating and he has been rude to me at times. After this conversation with him, it sounded like he was saying I bring out the worst in him. And if I want to continue dating him I will have to get used to him being a jerk. What do you think? Also, I'm not sure how to take this because I haven't done anything to upset him or deserve being treated badly. He even told me "You are very kind. In fact, you're every man's dream. You have a hot body and you make my d*ck hard. I just don't know if we are compatible as a couple because I can't control my tendancy to be rude to you. With my last girlfriend, it was easy. I was always kind to her because she really "got me" in a way that no other woman has been able to do." So I asked him, "So are you saying you don't want to date me anymore?" He said he doesn't know and the decision is up to me. So I was like, "what choices do I have?" Then he told me he had a headache and really didn't want to talk about it anymore. So I left and haven't seen or heard from him since. That was two days ago.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I understand where he's coming from. I wouldn't condone being flat out RUDE to a woman at all, but with the wrong woman, I'm very dismissive and more or less, nonchalant about her needs and wants. The right woman will make me melt though, and most people will see a side of me they never thought existed. Guess it's chemistry. For every chemical entity out there, there's another to balance it. This applies to all things within the universe. All things unstable can be stabilized with the right application of chemistry or natural way of energy.
SmileFace Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Yeah, stop dating him. People always tell you the truth , even if we try not to hear it. He is telling you his true self - please leave this one alone.
max2go Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Any guy who tells a woman shes "hot" and makes his manhood hard is not treating her as a lady - period - move on, as a "lady" I feel you should value yourself more highly:)
Leeway Harris Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 He'd like you to stay around because he's attracted to you physically, but he doesn't want you to get the idea there's real potential for the two of you as a couple. He wants to put the responsibility all on you, so when you're dissatisfied with the relationship, he can say "Hey, you're the one who decided to stick around! I told you what you were getting into!" But he's giving you the opportunity to walk away now. I think you should take it.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 He sounds like a guy who really does not know what he wants. He likes you physically but there is a bit of a personality conflict. The question is it one you think that can be resolved with a little work...or is it one that just cannot be dealt with? @Smile and max. As for the guys manner of speaking about her. That's pretty standard vocabulary for a large number of people.
SmileFace Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I didn't say anything about his manner -_- I said - he is telling her he has no respect for her. She needs to listen to him. It doesn't matter how he said - he said it. Someone who will stick around with someone who tells them this doesn't have much respect for themselves. This is like a non-troll jerk thread. If you are looking for a relationship with this guy - you need to stop . Since he doesn't want one with you. How can someone tell you " Well I am going to be an ******* to you, but I could be nice" and you still even entertain the idea of staying? This is mind boggling. It is ok he feels like this but for the sake of yourself you shouldn't stick around. It doesn't seem like you both are looking for the same thing.
runner Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 lame. sounds like he doesn't know who he is and is easily swayed by other people. i can't stand people like that; i have little patience for them; and i don't suffer fools. be a fair guy, or be a dip*****. pick one. sounds like the guy is just stringing you along to "make his dick hard." no offence, i'm just sayin' /peace
Ay Diesel T Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Everybody should be so quick to down talk the way he speaks to her, and more or less, his jerk face ways of treating her. But don't shoot the man down about the way he feels. That's how a lot of guys are. Myself included. I won't be a dick head in real life to a woman I have no emotional connection with, but if there's no emotional connection, all I can really share with her is pleasures of the flesh you know? That's not ****ed up, that's human. At least he was man enough to be straight up with her. And I think the OP, if romantically interested, should call it off. If he's disrespectful to you though, let him know what's up. There should be no excuse for disrespect. Disrespect = dismissive though. Let's get that out in the open and clear.
Author Butterflying Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 I didn't say anything about his manner -_- I said - he is telling her he has no respect for her. She needs to listen to him. It doesn't matter how he said - he said it. Someone who will stick around with someone who tells them this doesn't have much respect for themselves. This is like a non-troll jerk thread. If you are looking for a relationship with this guy - you need to stop . Since he doesn't want one with you. How can someone tell you " Well I am going to be an ******* to you, but I could be nice" and you still even entertain the idea of staying? This is mind boggling. It is ok he feels like this but for the sake of yourself you shouldn't stick around. It doesn't seem like you both are looking for the same thing. I totally feel exactly like you're advising. It's just that we've been dating for a month now. Neither really made it clear if we were monogamous or not. So we had this conversation and he told me these things. Until then, I felt like we were on the same wavelength with everything. In fact, he was expressing feelings towards me quicker than I was him. We've never even had an argument. And he's been the perfect gentleman except for the times when he he's rude like when we were walking through the zoo together. It was his idea to go because he likes animals. But when we got there, his cell phone started beeping with text messages. He spent most of the time texting with his phone and barely said a word to me the whole time we were there. I was just walking along beside him quietly. And he text messages A LOT, pretty much all the time when we're together during movies, dinner, ect. I said something to him about it. That was when he was like "Sorry." But he kept doing it anyway. Otherwise, he opens doors for me, orders dinner first for me, constantly checks to make sure I'm comfortable wherever we are, and many little things that add up in a big way. So I'm borderline wondering if our so called "personality conflict" is something that can be dealt with. In his mind, my issue with his texting is annoying because he simply doesn't want to "respect" me that way. He thinks not using it around me so much is me being controlling. In which case, he realizes it's rude, but he's not compelled to change because I don't make him feel like changing.
Author Butterflying Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 lame. sounds like he doesn't know who he is and is easily swayed by other people. i can't stand people like that; i have little patience for them; and i don't suffer fools. be a fair guy, or be a dip*****. pick one. sounds like the guy is just stringing you along to "make his dick hard." no offence, i'm just sayin' /peace OMG my best friend said this EXACT same thing! No offence taken. Thanks for the input.
SmileFace Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 He seems confused - but doesn't seem like a bad person. However, I will say you both aren't looking for the same thing. It is a pity that he can't give you all of him - meaning the respectable side. Wish him luck - time to leave him alone. All the best. I will say, at least he had the balls to tell you - kudos to him for that.
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