My Sittuation

[iDivine]

Hey everyone.

So, my wife and i have been separated for about 8 months now. We have two amazing daughters, aged 3 and 9.

We live in Florida.

We are not a very rich family. I was the bread winner for all the years we were married, i earn about 77-100k/year (77k at my day job and then i work on the side from home as a contract programmer).

My wife did not want to get an education, she wanted to be the stay at home wife, with the house and the kids. Finally i agreed to that, after having argued with her that I would pay for her collage, nothing went through.

Anyways so, my wife does work off the books, 3-4 times a week and earns minimal pay (200$/week).

 

So now my wife is being nasty and lawyering up. We sold our house and came out with 100k which we split up when we separated. 50k each is not a lot of money and personally, i do not wish to spend it on divorce lawyers. I instead am looking to buy myself a house for me and my children.

 

Anyways,

I pay my wife 1800$/month as of right now.

Whenever i mention joint custody, she freaks out and tells me that the only reason i want joint custody is to give her less every month. She does not see how i can just want to be with my kids.

She says she will fight me to the end on joint custody, spending every single dollar she has, and then making me pay the lawyer fees because apparently she is entitled to that.

 

My older daughter has severe ADHD. When my wife and I split up she would call my on a daily basis and yell for me to come and get our 9 year old to school because she can not handle her.

For about 2 months, the 9 year old stayed with me because my wife simply did not want her.

my 9 year old daughter just walks all over my wife. The school has even sent her a warning saying that she has to make sure that our 9 year old is in school on time.

 

So, my question here is. Would i get joint? and can she legally make me pay for her lawyer fees?

 

Also, how much should i be paying for childsupport?

 

thanks,

rich

[allenmj]

Joint? You should be going for full.

 

Selling the house hurt you, should have kept it and made her move out, but I think you can get past that.

 

Record every time there is an issue with your stbx, every time you are asked to go pick up your dau or every time the school has an issue with her being late. Show a pattern of instability, then do whatever you can right now to get a stable place for you thats big enough for your children to live.

 

If papers have not been filed yet, then you file them now and request full custody and suggest visitation only for your wife. She does not have the means to support them, does not have a job, and is having issues with basic parenting skills.

 

Good luck!

[Distant78]

You have a very selfish wife on your hands. She barely works and think she's entitled to your hard-earned assets.

 

You sure she isn't fooling around with a third party?

[iDivine]

Her and I are both seeing other people.

[Distant78]

Oh god.

[seibert253]

Personally I'd say screw it an go for full custody.

[iDivine]

I don't see how full custody would work. I mean, the woman usually get custody of the childre, no?

Or has that changed these days?

How probable is it for me to get custody?

[Soxfaninfl]

Go for joint custody and 50/50 visitation. I see my 7 year old son every other week(Monday to Monday). My stbx wanted me to see our son every other weekend. I told her we are keeping the visitation the same. I live in FL too. Times have changed. You can get 50/50 visitation if you want it these days. She doesn't have more rights than you do. Lawyers always tell the woman to get the child more so they can get more child support. Children need both parents equally in their lives.

[iDivine]

aww,

thank you for this inspirational post!