BelieveInUs Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I have never post my emotional pain on line. A person told me that it will do me some good by releasing my emotional pain. I wanted to be free and to share my experience with the rest of the world. I have known this woman for about two years. Both of us are in the MBA program. At first, we were classmates but something else happen later on. Both of us are born in another countries. I am Asian and she is Black. I thought that since we cross the cultural divide that we have something more than what the rest of the people have. It takes a lot to not let prejudice, stereotype, bias, fear, and hate dominate the human thought process. If I was prejudice, then I would not have dated a Black woman. If she was prejudice, then she would not have dated an Asian man. I thought we have the identical core values. That core values are: respect, love, caring, and committment. We went out to dinners about ten times, to the movies about four times, and to shopping at Manhattan Mall. Before Valentine, I went to Kay Jeweler to purchase her a watch, a bracelet, a pendant, and a pair of earrings. From Blue Nile, I purchase her a locket and a locket for myself. This is for the day when she and I made the committment of dating with only each other. However, when I presented her these gifts, she made the mistake of thinking that I wanted to buy her. My lesson to the world is that if you do not want to destroy trust is to confirm with you significant other before you do anything on your own. Our relationship went downhill from that moment on. I decided to get legal advice from several attorneys. I needed to do this because I also wrote several letters and emails that were laced with sexually charged materials. The attorneys wanted me to be very careful with my communication. The gifts, letter, and email could be used as evidences in a court case against me. I am schedule to graduate on May 2012 with an MBA degree. Also, I am in the process of trying to pass the CPA exam and the CFA exam. It is then that I have decided to protect my degree, the certifications, my job, and my career. It was told to me that she can press charges against me. This can range from sexual harrassment charges, to order of protection, and to restraining order. I decided to follow the attorneys advises. On April 11, 2011, it was her 45 birthday, I decided to sent her an email stating that I am terminating our relationship and that I would not contact or communicate with her any more. In the email, I stated that I would block her emails and I would change my cell phone number. It was one of the most heart breaking decision that I have ever made. I did not want to do it but I have to protect my future. It has been two weeks since I broke up the relationship. It still hurts. I have been crying for the past two week. Sometimes in the library while at other times in the subway. I thought I would get over her but it has not happen. All I know is that I would never get over her competely. What I want to write to the world is that trust has to be earn and that trust can be easily destroy. What happen to me is that I did not reinforce trust enough. I allow trust to deteriorate because I was assuming too much. A person has to confirm several things along the process of love. First, it is always ask the other person "do you like me", "do you enjoy our time together", "do you want to be my girl friend/boy friend", and most important of all "do you love me". I hope that my mistake of not confirming the status of our relationship will not be your mistake. By constantly confirming the relationship status, you can pick up any erosion of the relationship as soon as possible. This will give you time to do emergency repairs to the fragile relationship. There is a negative side to this story. I chose not to air the negative side of the story in Loveshack.org because it should be about love, romance, and passion. The formula that I want to share with the rest of the world is: Hope + Love > Fear + Hate Eventhough I am feeling tremendous amount of pain and loss, I will learn from this so that my next relationship will be a success. I can only hope that people around the world will keep Hope and Love close to their hearts. I have to go now. I have a lot of things to study for. May Peace, Hope, and Love be with all of you. Take care. Sincerely, One of the Man
Recommended Posts