bslchump Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I hate nights like last night. I would dream of her, only to wake myself up from it and re-enter another one just like it. Each time I felt rattled and set back in progress. One thing that has entered my mind is my impending move home. It makes me incredibly sad to leave. I moved almost a thousand miles to be with her over a year ago. When I did so, I fully committed myself mentally to the journey and the new life. I had NO thoughts that I would have to leave, and now that I have to, it feels like I'm leaving home, even though most everything that was good about this place has disintegrated. It makes me so sad to know I'll never be here again. I came to think of it as MINE. I thought of her and our pets as my FAMILY. It feels like being betrayed by family. It hurts to imagine her sharing this apartment and our pet with another man, which she undoubtedly will after I'm gone. That was mine. He has no right to be here and if I ever met him, I think I would kill him. It doesn't feel fair. I didn't do anything to deserve feeling like this while her consequences are nil. She was the one who put in little effort to fix things she knew were beginning to break, and she was the one who sought the affection of another. So why am I the one to suffer?
is2008 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Because you my friend are the better person. You didn't throw in the towel when the going got tough and was committed to fixing the problems in the relationship. Think of that as a good trait and one that will eventually be rewarded by a good woman. People who walk out at the first sign of problems are weak. Your mentality will pay off.
ver13 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Go on to your new adventure and never look back if she has made up her mind to continue on with this course of action, let her. Look in the end you only have a short amount of time on this planet, so use it wisely. Get out of there and find someone that you can trust that will honor your relationship together.
Author bslchump Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 To top it off, for whatever reason I decided to look at a picture of her just now. I haven't done that in weeks and I don't know why I did it now. It's pretty amazing how something so stupid and small can just drain everything from you.
timchambo Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 bsl, hope things are getting better. Thankfully I don't dream much. I did have one dream shortly after we split where she came back to me crawling into bed and said "I'm so glad to be back home"... then I woke up. Ya that was pretty devastating. I think our feelings and recovery process pretty much mirror each other. Keep your chin up bro.
Author bslchump Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 bsl, hope things are getting better. Thankfully I don't dream much. I did have one dream shortly after we split where she came back to me crawling into bed and said "I'm so glad to be back home"... then I woke up. Ya that was pretty devastating. I think our feelings and recovery process pretty much mirror each other. Keep your chin up bro. I agree tim. Everything I've heard about your situation is pretty much exactly like my own. If you ever want to PM me, please feel free to do so. Your responses always helped me in the past.
willowthewisp Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 bslchump, I now exactly how you are feeling. WHen my ex jilted me after nearly 20 years together, I had to leave my home, my furniture, a lot of my belongings and move nearly 300 miles away from my home and friends of the last 13 years to live with family. I have heard (although it may not be true, long story) that my ex has moved some women into my home and proposed to her having known her less than 7 months and within a year of him walking out on me. It's been two year next week since he left me, I had no idea anything was wrong we had just booked our wedding and he said he had deliberately kept his unhappiness hidden for years. I've been taking postgrad exams the last two weeks and last night I dreamt about him and this women living in my home, her using my wardrobe (closet) etc, it's sooooooooooo draining. Then today I had to get up at 6 am, travel 60 miles into college and sit an exam, the 9th in 10 days and i have a stomach virus to boot. Anyway, I seem to be thread jacking (sorry), just wanted you to know you aren't alone in your feelings. I wish I could offer you some advice.
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