Kamille Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Not really the past perse' but I just think he suddenly doesn't want to discuss things. For instance, I got irked at him about a month ago over another of his "mood swings" and actually told him maybe we should take a break but immediately he was like "I don't want that" and then said we'd discuss things later. But later never came. He basically gave me a hug and said "he was glad that was over.":confused: I don't know if he's scared or what but I even told him when we spoke that I wasn't trying to fast forward this into a full on relationship or jump down the aisle, but I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page. I just think it's crazy if he's assuming avoidance and a hug will/can always smooth over any conflict you know? Its like how can we eventually try anything substantial if we can no longer communicate like we need? Hmmm.. The avoidance techniques would bother the heck out of me - but the worst part is that he can claim that's not what he's doing. He owes you two explanations. One for how he reacted to your comment and one for why he couldn't pick up the phone. After years of dating commitmentphobes and getting trapped doing the emotional work in the relationship, I now have a tendency to play hard ball. In your shoes, once he got in touch with you (and you're in person to discuss it all), I would tell him this and only this: "Right now I'm feeling upset, and I'm hoping we can figure out a way to make things better between us". Then I would let him come up with ways to make things better. In my experience, a man who is worth your time will be more than happy to make suggestions that will improve communication and the relationship for both of you.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 So you asked him a dumb question because he doesn't express his feelings enough for you? L.m.a.o. Women are insane.
Author MRevolver Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) So you asked him a dumb question because he doesn't express his feelings enough for you? L.m.a.o. Women are insane. lol see? This is exactly what I'm saying. Why is this dumb that I wanted a good ol' verbal answer regarding 'us.' I mean I thought people weren't supposed to "assume" anything, especially in relationships or pending ones in my case. Cause lets be real now a days people can do all the actions, and have totally different motives. I just wanted to a very clear answer because I felt I was giving clear verbal and non-verbal cues that I was really happy with him. So lets hear it men? Women? Anymore thoughts??? Edited February 25, 2011 by MRevolver
Author MRevolver Posted February 26, 2011 Author Posted February 26, 2011 So I'd basically given up hope of hearing anything, especially on this evening when low and behold he called. He apologized for having taken so long to call and then wasted no time wanting to talk about what prompted my question. He said the way I went about it really upset him (for which I apologized) but to answer my question yes he still cared and yes he was still completely invested in us and seeing where we could go. There was no yelling or raising voices but it was just a really honest and positive conversation and we both agreed we felt better after talking. We also agreed that from here on out we'd always talk about things in person or by phone rather than online So thanks to all for the help! Revolvers still in happyland
glimmer Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 Yay!! I'm glad all is well between you two!
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