Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) I am leaving an office job I took a few months ago, because my startup business is taking off like crazy and I want to do it full time. My last day in the office is tomorrow. This guy who works there and I have gotten along very well anytime we've talked during get-togethers and stuff, and he came by today to give me several forms of contact info, and expressly ask that I "definitely get in touch" with him after I go. I can understand why he would do this as opposed to asking me out, since it's the work environment and he probably doesn't want to come off as a creep if I'm not interested. Well, I am VERY interested. So what do I do now?!! I added him on LinkedIn last week, and he can definitely give me some advice on a particular aspect of my biz, which is how I spun it during the conversation today. But that's not really why I'm interested in him. He's SMART and CUTE and awesome, and I am interested in him like THAT. So what do I do? Initiate a conversation over e-mail or LinkedIn? Ask him out for coffee or lunch? I have NEVER asked a man out before, so I feel kind of clueless. Help!!! Edited February 25, 2011 by Ruby Slippers
Lilmisus Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 If you work with him tomorrow, while saying goodbye, why don't hint that you want him to ask you out. Just smile at him, and say that you hope you guys can see each other in the near future and ask if he thinks that it's okay for you to call him or tell him that you hope he'll call you. If he doesn't take the bait, ask him out for coffee yourself or whatever you want, and go from there.
tigressA Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Yes, definitely give him a hint. If he's interested like THAT--and it seems like he is, what with the "definitely get in touch with me" thing!--he will take the bait and ask you out. If he's one of the clueless types, you might have to take the bull by the horns and do it yourself--just ask him to grab a cup of coffee sometime.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 OMG, this is so scary to think about!!! He's soooo cute and awesome, I think I would just melt into a puddle of goo if I tried to drop a hint to him. Once I got the hint that he might be interested, I was nervous talking to him today!! He's so cool, and I didn't really think he would be interested in me. God, crushes are so weird. They are fun but agonizing in a way. Give me more ideas, please! I need them! I feel like a totally clueless teenager.
blackmagik Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I wouldn't listen to these ladies. I personally think if a girl who was interested in me asked me out that it would totally be hot. Playing the cat and mouse game is old school but it can be very stressful and takes forever. I would befriend him on a more personal level like facebook or something and then just go for it. I live each day like its my last and I preach that philosophy to others. Do what you want and what makes you happy.
phineas Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I've never seen anyone leave an office job without there being a happy hour. make sure he knows about it. Done & done.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 I've never seen anyone leave an office job without there being a happy hour. make sure he knows about it. Done & done. That is a great idea. But I was there such a short time that I didn't feel like doing anything like that, so it didn't happen. Now I've been out of the office for three weeks, and I came across his contact info, but I just can't bring myself to "make the first move". It is just not me. Feels totally against my nature. If he is interested, he knows how to find me.
Kindaconfused_77 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Being on the opposing side of a potential office flame I can attest to the following fact: yes, we guys can really be THAT clueless. I have about 5 friends telling me that my coworker is all but blatantly dropping hints on me yet I continue to doubt myself. It's a slow tortuous process, save yourself the extended agony and take the first step if he doesn't, cause that thing you said? Guys say it too, in fact I've often said in my situation, if she's interested, she'll find a way to let me know. Well, apparently she didn't count on me to be so clueless and the same might apply to your guy.
kidofpassion Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 we act tough and strong but really we are feble and weak. we would rather be a friend than try and get turned down by women who we like more than just a quicky. if he has taken the time to help you like a gentleman he cares more about your heart than your pants.you have alot to work with but he is scared because you could hurt him and he is not sure. so if it were me i would appreciate the honest truth. let him know that you are interested bluntly and watch if he lights up like a christmas tree. or if he blushes light go for it blushes steady but slow aand dont play with his head if you get the run around and you cant see a positive pattern in one direction or another then he is not stable and satisfy your physical urge the way you want but lock your heaqrt because he will be a dead beat . rednecks bad boys and *******s all have flaws but they stand for something rather than blow around unstable with the wind. men are all about visual few have any depth but with spontaneous things from women showing they care you can get inside their heart and as we age we do grow up and want to be what you need. visual -spontaneous see if that dont work
Author Ruby Slippers Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Being on the opposing side of a potential office flame I can attest to the following fact: yes, we guys can really be THAT clueless. It's a slow tortuous process, save yourself the extended agony and take the first step if he doesn't, cause that thing you said? Guys say it too, in fact I've often said in my situation, if she's interested, she'll find a way to let me know. Well, apparently she didn't count on me to be so clueless and the same might apply to your guy. I don't know if I'm feeling confident enough right now to contact him. I have NEVER "approached" the guy, so it's really intimidating to me. This guy is cute, smart, fit, sexy, slightly nerdy techie, which I LOVE, stable, successful, has gorgeous penetrating blue eyes (I have a big weak spot for blue eyes), everybody loves him, and he seems really solid and not flaky. He's also an excellent conversationalist, which seems to be a dying social art, but one that I love and need. Ahhhh, I want him. Our office interactions only amounted to conversation. If I asked him out and he let me know he wasn't interested in that way, I would feel so embarrassed! God, how do men do this? I don't think I can do it.
Cee Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It sounds like you are describing my boyfriend - cute, smart, techie with gorgeous blue eyes. My guy is an amazing catch. Maybe your guy is too. Don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers. The worst that will happen is you will gain life experience. I suggest you come up with an excuse to get together, but don't make it all about business. Ask him to a bar with an interesting band or a cool event. Say, you'd like to catch up with him. I think requesting a "catch up" meeting is sufficiently personal, but not blatantly a date. Just do it. You've been on Love Shack long enough to know there are plenty of men who would be thrilled if a woman asked them out. Go girl.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I don't know if I'm feeling confident enough right now to contact him. I have NEVER "approached" the guy, so it's really intimidating to me. This guy is cute, smart, fit, sexy, slightly nerdy techie, which I LOVE, stable, successful, has gorgeous penetrating blue eyes (I have a big weak spot for blue eyes), everybody loves him, and he seems really solid and not flaky. He's also an excellent conversationalist, which seems to be a dying social art, but one that I love and need. Ahhhh, I want him. Our office interactions only amounted to conversation. If I asked him out and he let me know he wasn't interested in that way, I would feel so embarrassed! God, how do men do this? I don't think I can do it. Just shut down the butterfly engine and execute. You have nothing to lose. Since a little time has gone by now you have a little different kind of opportunity. Contact him and see if might want to meet for a feeler-outer like "a drink" or "lunch". This way you're not "asking him out" quite. If he's into it, get together for the drink or lunch, and you'll have every opportunity to know for sure if there's anything there. If you still like him but he hasn't asked you out by the end of the "feeler-outer" then maybe you'll feel more relaxed with asking him if he's interested in "seeing you further"... Take it from someone with penetrating blue eyes. You'll thank me (at the wedding. )
denise_xo Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 I don't know if I'm feeling confident enough right now to contact him. I have NEVER "approached" the guy, so it's really intimidating to me. This guy is cute, smart, fit, sexy, slightly nerdy techie, which I LOVE, stable, successful, has gorgeous penetrating blue eyes (I have a big weak spot for blue eyes), everybody loves him, and he seems really solid and not flaky. He's also an excellent conversationalist, which seems to be a dying social art, but one that I love and need. Ahhhh, I want him. Our office interactions only amounted to conversation. If I asked him out and he let me know he wasn't interested in that way, I would feel so embarrassed! God, how do men do this? I don't think I can do it. Oh come on - you're even out of the office now, right? As in, if he rejects you, you're not going to have to work with him every day? You want him - go for him
Author Ruby Slippers Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 I suggest you come up with an excuse to get together, but don't make it all about business. I think I may have made this mistake in my nervousness when we were talking on the last day. I said something about how I'd like to keep in touch because I might need to request his technical expertise, which I'm going to need more help with as the business keeps improving and growing. His smile was kind of fading out when I was saying that, probably thinking I was trying to say I wasn't interested. Blah! I only said it because I didn't have the gumption to do what I really wanted to do, which was flirt with him. I am such a dork. Ask him to a bar with an interesting band or a cool event. Say, you'd like to catch up with him. I think requesting a "catch up" meeting is sufficiently personal, but not blatantly a date. Just do it. You've been on Love Shack long enough to know there are plenty of men who would be thrilled if a woman asked them out. Go girl. I don't know why this is so daunting to me, but it is! You're right -- even if he e-mails back "no, screw you", who really cares? Take it from someone with penetrating blue eyes. *sigh* Everything else and now this, too.
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