kaygato Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Pretty self-explanatory question. I'd really like to give it back to him along with all the other stuff just to basically be like "eff you, I don't want this stuff that reminds me of your empty promises" and to maybe make him feel a little bit sad. However, I don't want to hurt him more than I already have. Just because he hurt me doesn't make it right for me to hurt him more. So what do you think I should do with them? I have three necklaces with heart-shaped pendent/charms on them. They all remind me of him and there is no way I want to see them or wear them. Should I chuck them in the trash?
mandym Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Wow, I am in the exact same boat as you are. I can't even look at mine, or even think about wearing them. I really wanted to give them back to him but then I thought, well maybe one day I'd like to wear them again. (not anytime soon obviously, but someday.) Or hell, even pawn them. But I'd have to say do not throw them away. ha like I said, if you really really don't want them then sell them or give them back. But if you think you might want them someday, put them up where you wont see them often. That's what I did. Mine are in a huge bag with all of his stuff in the back of my closet. haha =) Hope this helped!
Author kaygato Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Yeah thanks MandyM, I think I'm going to sell them. At least that way I'm making money. I just can't see myself ever wearing them unless we were together again, but I'm trying to move on. I don't think he'll want them back and I don't want to hurt him so selling is probably the best option.
D78 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Don't give them back to him. You'll try to say eff you and to make him sad. But, you wouldn't make him sad, and he will just say eff you (and he will probably mean it) as he throws the jewelry away. Or, worse, gives it to someone else. My ex gave me a ring that I absolutely love. I think I'll wear it again someday. Or maybe I'll have it made into a pendant or pin so it will be my lucky ring, but not remind me of him. If you get to the point that you're indifferent, you'll probably be able to wear the jewelry if you like it. If you don't like it, definitely sell it. Good luck!
fleur_de_me Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I know what you mean- I have mine hidden away. I tried to leave it at his house when I left, but he got pissed about it and insist that I take it, and if I and if I want to throw it away, fine. So, I did want to throw it away, but I couldn't. So it sits hidden away where I won't see it, and maybe one day, if I'm ever OK, I will wear it again. Although probably not...maybe I should just sell it or give it away. Regifting?
Rose T Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I had a very bad break-up (he cheated and left) but I kept all the gifts, including handbags and jewellery, and I happily wear them and use them. They were gifts given in love once upon a time and they're now things that I've owned and loved for some years. I wouldn't give them back (what's he going to do, give them to his new girl - no way!!) and I still enjoy wearing them - I don't really associate them with him, funnily enough, or at least I don't feel tied down by the association. They're all very much in my taste (I usually guided his choices for me!!) so they're actually things I feel good about. I also bought him expensive gifts over the years and I'd hate for him to give me them back - it would feel like such a waste! Just my 2 cents.
fleur_de_me Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I had a very bad break-up (he cheated and left) but I kept all the gifts, including handbags and jewellery, and I happily wear them and use them. They were gifts given in love once upon a time and they're now things that I've owned and loved for some years. I wouldn't give them back (what's he going to do, give them to his new girl - no way!!) and I still enjoy wearing them - I don't really associate them with him, funnily enough, or at least I don't feel tied down by the association. They're all very much in my taste (I usually guided his choices for me!!) so they're actually things I feel good about. I also bought him expensive gifts over the years and I'd hate for him to give me them back - it would feel like such a waste! Just my 2 cents. Haha- I guess I still wear some of the clothes he bought me...and the bras....and the shoes! Good point For some reason the jewelry was different. He told me he bought the necklace he gave me (last Valentine's day) before he met me. Apparently he saw it and thought it was beautiful and was waiting for someone special to come into his life to give it to them. It had a lot of meaning for me, and I wore it everyday feeling like it was something special. Now it is just a reminder of how someone acted like they loved me and then walked away without a second thought.
Rose T Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Hi Fleur! Yes I can see why that particular item of jewellery would feel special - however I do think it's a shame to give gifts back (unless we're talking about engagement rings, I guess). Maybe you could put it in a draw for now? Hopefully one of these days you'll buy a new dress or top and realise that you have the perfect necklace to go with it!! I think that would actually represent a victory over the sorrow of your break-up - it's a positive sort of recyling, right?!. I remember wearing a top an ex-ex had bought when I was out with my last boyfriend and him telling me I looked great. I had a little laugh to myself, thinking, well at least that useless ex-ex was good for something!!
curiousnycgirl Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I completely understand, I've never been able to wear jewelry given to me by an ex. The jewelry given to me by my fiance who passed away is kept lovingly and worn on special occassions as appropriate - the family heirloom engagement ring was returned to the family and used by his brother when he became engaged. The next b/f, 10 years later, gave me earings that still sit in my safe in their original boxes. I have no clue what to do with them, perhaps I'll put them on ebay one day, or donate them to a charity for an auction. But the beautiful gold bracelet he gave me was admired by a friend of mine, so I just gave it to her - I can be fairly impetuously stupid that way sometimes. Luckily I love that friend's kid - so now years later, her kid has it, and that is fine with me. The most recent ex has a son who is a married US Marine (they barely make enough money to feed their families). I very willingly offered him the jewelry his father gave me over the 6 years of our relationship to give to his wife. Each piece meant the world to me when I received it, and I only hope it will give her the same joy. I love those kids! Not sure if this helps or not, but that's what I've done.
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