Asami Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Hi everyone, thank you for your responses, in my previous thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3228160#post3228160 I just wanted to give an update. the Bf and I had an argument tonight. This is the second time the subject came up, and quite frankly, I'm beginning to think that he dose not respect my thoughts and feelings. The argument was about exclusivity. after the 3rd time we saw each other, a few months ago (October) we decided that we were going to take down our dating profiles. I told my cousin about the dating site since she was happy for me, and she was interested and she joined, she mentioned to me that she saw my BF online. I was upset about it since he told me that h removed his profile. I asked him about it and he got very defensive, he told me that he would take it down, he did as my cousin told me that she didn't see him online anymore. I know that the LD is hard for him and for me too but he always tells me that there are women willing to move to his state to be with him. I feel like he dosen't respect my career, thoughts and feelings about me moving anywhere without a having a job first; (his situation : he doesn't ave steady work he works for a temp agency which hasn't given him any hours, and he failed out of a medical program he was going to school for, his plan was to start school again once we moved to the new state and in the mean time get more work in his current state to save $$ for the move.) I told him that it wasn't fair to me for him to say things like that. That it hurt my feelings. Lately we've been having issues with his ex and the possible baby of his, and it seems like things have gotten complicated because the ex thinks that the relationship (between them)can be saved. He assured me that there was no chance of that happening and lately communication between us have been going well, and we talk of our plans to move together in the upcoming months providing we both get jobs there. Today I called him to tell him that I enjoyed our conversation last night and to thank him for deleting his dating profile, as i told him before it bothered me as I felt we both agreed to be exclusive and I feel like by him being on the website he is keeping his options open. He got very nasty as well as defensive and he told me that it was over and that he does not like to be micro managed he also admitted that he didn't take down is profile; he also hung up on me. I'm beginning to think all sorts of things now like was he communicating with other people? I feel like an idiot..sorry this is so long..
lonely79 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I am not sure if this is really helpful, but he kinda sounds like a jerk and a bit too much trouble... why would he not take his dating profile down? much less throw it in your face in anger. that is just mean. also, the baby mama drama? that right there would be too much for me. I hope you can figure out what is really going on and work it out if thats what you want but if it were me, I'd cut my losses and move on. good luck!
heartshaped Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear this, but really you are better off. It does sound very much like he was trying to keep his options open and may have even been dating other women behind your back and that's just not fair to you. He had a lot of drama outside of this as well so really I think you are getting out of a bad situation. I would cease all contact if you already haven't done so and begin moving on. He isn't worth it. He obviously cares nothing for your feelings and who knows how many women he was talking to behind your back or even sleeping with.
hoping2heal Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Hi everyone, thank you for your responses, in my previous thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3228160#post3228160 I just wanted to give an update. the Bf and I had an argument tonight. This is the second time the subject came up, and quite frankly, I'm beginning to think that he dose not respect my thoughts and feelings. The argument was about exclusivity. after the 3rd time we saw each other, a few months ago (October) we decided that we were going to take down our dating profiles. I told my cousin about the dating site since she was happy for me, and she was interested and she joined, she mentioned to me that she saw my BF online. I was upset about it since he told me that h removed his profile. I asked him about it and he got very defensive, he told me that he would take it down, he did as my cousin told me that she didn't see him online anymore. I know that the LD is hard for him and for me too but he always tells me that there are women willing to move to his state to be with him. I feel like he dosen't respect my career, thoughts and feelings about me moving anywhere without a having a job first; (his situation : he doesn't ave steady work he works for a temp agency which hasn't given him any hours, and he failed out of a medical program he was going to school for, his plan was to start school again once we moved to the new state and in the mean time get more work in his current state to save $$ for the move.) I told him that it wasn't fair to me for him to say things like that. That it hurt my feelings. Lately we've been having issues with his ex and the possible baby of his, and it seems like things have gotten complicated because the ex thinks that the relationship (between them)can be saved. He assured me that there was no chance of that happening and lately communication between us have been going well, and we talk of our plans to move together in the upcoming months providing we both get jobs there. Today I called him to tell him that I enjoyed our conversation last night and to thank him for deleting his dating profile, as i told him before it bothered me as I felt we both agreed to be exclusive and I feel like by him being on the website he is keeping his options open. He got very nasty as well as defensive and he told me that it was over and that he does not like to be micro managed he also admitted that he didn't take down is profile; he also hung up on me. I'm beginning to think all sorts of things now like was he communicating with other people? I feel like an idiot..sorry this is so long.. Why are you asking if you are in the wrong. You know you are not in the wrong. You do not need anyone else to verify that, or you shouldnt need that at any rate. He expects you to up and move when he himself does not even have anything stable laid down. I commend you for being intelligent enough to recognize it is important that you have a means of employment before you try to shack up and play house. Clearly, you have the better sense of of the two of you which is why I am not a fan of the poor battered wife talk. A grown man lying and disrespecting you and you come in here asking if YOU are the one in the wrong. If you have enough good sense to know it is a bad idea to move without a job, I know you have enough good sense to know the way he is acting is uncalled for. If he feels that acting committed in a relationship is being micromanaged he cannot be very committed to this ordeal. Let all the other women who would move there to be with him go on and do so, I hope he is paying minimum wage for them to play nanny and babysit his inner toddler who runs the show.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 i'm sorry hunny, he sounds like a loser to me. not only that, he doesn't respect you at all. maybe he's better off with the ex.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 He doesn't sound worthy of your time, I would move on, sorry
Author Asami Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Why are you asking if you are in the wrong. You know you are not in the wrong. You do not need anyone else to verify that, or you shouldnt need that at any rate. He expects you to up and move when he himself does not even have anything stable laid down. I commend you for being intelligent enough to recognize it is important that you have a means of employment before you try to shack up and play house. Clearly, you have the better sense of of the two of you which is why I am not a fan of the poor battered wife talk. A grown man lying and disrespecting you and you come in here asking if YOU are the one in the wrong. If you have enough good sense to know it is a bad idea to move without a job, I know you have enough good sense to know the way he is acting is uncalled for. If he feels that acting committed in a relationship is being micromanaged he cannot be very committed to this ordeal. Let all the other women who would move there to be with him go on and do so, I hope he is paying minimum wage for them to play nanny and babysit his inner toddler who runs the show. thank you hoping2heal, I needed that he just makes me feel as though i'm being unreasonable. heavenorhell, lonely79,TokyoG33kyGal,heartshaped thank you for your responses.
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