selfrespect118 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 hi ive been with my girl for 11 months had many ups and downs especially with a clinging ex who kept making her 'feel sorry for him' and dealing with 'memories'. however i made the stupid mistake of being 'understanding' as she said she still wanted to be with me, i told her to not contact her ex, but she said just as a friend, which he clearly could not handle being.. he kept coming in his car at nights etc.. anyway it went on every now and then, but after 8 months she finally realised to change her number after he disrespected her with rude insults about her and her mother just bcos she said she was with someone else ps hes a psychotic gangster type, but neway that went by but recently.. few days back me and my girl had an argument over an incident and i said sorry for any way i upset her..and i know this may be stupid im usually not immature, but then i asked if shes sorry she said no because she didnt do anything wrong when anyone would say she clearly played a part, but the stupid mistake was i demanded it from her.. anyway she got angry and she hinted break up,then she said it clearly and i made a horrendous mistake.. I kinda pleaded with her saying shes confused she dont know what shes talking about, shes said this before (cos she has and she never meant it she told me few days later when we got back), that i need her (and she smelt it and said but i dont need you), basically went a bit desperate..that whole night i went a bit desperate and i did feel like i lost abit of self respect because she didnt do the ssame.. and she also said if i respect her then i should respect her decision. anyhow i decided ok this isnt the way to behave so i didnt say anything the next day.. the day after she contacted me saying she got my pj's and socks if i want it, i thought bout it and said yeh if its not trouble come drop it (wanted to still b polite and see if i can hav a lil convo jus normal stuff no pressure)..neway she came and all she did in her car and slide the window down and said here, i said you alright and she said yeh, thats it.. but that night i decided nc, i dont need this bull****, she can come to me and this is the 2nd day.. she contacted me today afternoon saying her ex texted her mums fone sayin i know who your bf is and im gonna break his legs..i wasnt bothered heard it all.. then she texted again saying please just let me kno if our ok!!!.. then she texted later sayin dont worry he fort it wos sum1 else and not me.. oh yeh and she tried calling once or twice but i ignored everything.. then at night she texted me saying sumfin like 'thanks for ignoring me just wanted to know if your ok, i kno you dont want nefin to do with me nemor i wont bother you anymore hope we can be friends in the future goodluck with your driving test and exams tc'.. the thing is i do want to be with this person but i want her to have time and space and realise what she lost.. bcos she always said i wos perfect explaining why and even her friends wer sayin how im 1 in a million etc.. but neway what im wondering is.. shall i completely ignore her!? or send a short text explaining why, something like this: thanks for caring, i wasnt ignoring you but i do respect you and want you tho have some space nd time to think about everything, life.. im doing the same, and i dont think we can be friends neway tc bye' i dont wanna b a friend cos i kno i still uno hav those feelings nd i dont wnna b a back up plan or 2nd in place get me.. but yeh gimme sum advice people!! and THANKS:) if you took your time to help me!!!!!!!!!!
depplover_1980 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 For me personally, based on your post I would send the text explaining and leave it at that - do not be drawn into any debate over it, as she has no rights at all. I think if you continue to ignore you'll buckle regardless, so you'd be better to clear your conscience now early on, then go on a dignified run of NC.
Author selfrespect118 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks .. well update today i found out by third person that she changed her facebook relationship status to single..and this is someone who claimed to love me a few days ago lol.. mina tho i sent her a text sayin she wos prob right and i wasnt ignoring her just wanted to respect her decision tc bye..thats it i wnna move on if this never happens ill b satisfied with my conscience.. u wont believe it but im a ***in amateur boxer 26 fights lol! this breakup shud be an easy fight but its one of the hardest challenges ive had to face!! i learnt my lessons tho thanks
depplover_1980 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Well if you're a boxer you'll be mentally determined, so you just need to find coping ways and build on them. I think once you learn the techniques you will gain strength. Pop on here and I'll be happy to give you some time if needed.
Author selfrespect118 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 HEYY!! I NEED SUM AADVICE PLEASE, ERM IS TALKING TO HER FRIEND ON MSN VIOLATING NC?? well her friend started off, i wos jokin about seeming ok but not obvious, then she asked how im coping i said after a lil while.. how? fromm inner strength... ps i can see my ex shes online too, and i know girls talk especially friends.. however i havent tried to contact her.. i do want her back but im not desperate, only if she asks me to reconsider and she wants me back then ill think about it.. so am i doing nefin wrong? also one more thing is that say my ex contacts me and i ignore her but not her friend isnt that a bit of a ***ed up situation?? thanks for any help in advance well appreciated
Author selfrespect118 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Hey im on nc from a breakup wid d girl who broke up wid me.. on the day of the break up we had a lil argument and she decided to break up.. i waited for 5 mins den told her to calm down, she said she did and shes calm and she knows what shes doing and this is it, that shes done wid this relationship thing and she need to concentrate on uva stuff she aint got time 4 d arguments, she agreed we dont argue much but every time we do it takes a lot from her.. i made the mistake of saying she cant do this to me, think about whatur sayin etc etc.. to no avail, then i decided nc.. if u read my previous posts u can see fully what went on.. ps i was always the one in our 11 months that tried sort out the probs etc bcos i fort i shud fight for her even if she dont, thinkin one day when she realises what she has she will fight, stupid i know.. neway after 5 days of silence and nc she texted me today three times with these words: "i faught im nt gna txt u let u get on wiv wot ur doing but its pissin me off..Wt happened? All dese time ur d bigger person d 1 dt is mature enuff but how come u make a new facebook? Putting ur old picture up? Wts dt suppose to mean? Dt ur fine wiv ur old life? U dont need me anymore u dnt give a **** wot i fink or hw i feel nemore? Ukno. Last fing u sed 2 me was "im not giving up on us" remember? How come everything is change technically u have given up on us ukno I wuda pick up d fone n call u ryt now n tel u how much I'm missing you but Im not you kno y? Becos u let go of us n how come (name, boy whos my friend) kno about us breaking up? Is dt hw much u wana prove 2 me dt ur moving on? I'm reading d card u gave me now..wow? How come everything is change in 1 nite? dts fine if u wana move on Bt b4 we both stop talkin 2 each other completely can we please atleast try n keep a friendship? I really dnt wana break up wiv u on a bad term n wen we c each other with hatred I want u 2 remember me as d person u have shared something special with, hope u dnt av regrets N pls don't blank (ignore) me. (her name)".. i didnt reply, 1 half hour later i get.. "Is that how much I'm worth and mean to you ".. i didnt reply, 1 half hour lateri get.. "Ok thank you I got the message (myname) this is it then yeah, no hard feelings you said take care (myname) you will always be in my heart bye xxx" ... HELP ME MAN!!! d fing is i do want her, i love her so much but i dont wana make the same mistake i wanna take my time before i reply, IF i should! First off, she said why i told that guy about the breakup, he asked me BCOS she told sum1 else who asked him! Secondly she posted on facebook 3 days after the breakup that her status was 'SINGLE'.. and she wos d one telling me b4 dat nobody has 2 kno dey can find out however.. im confused, what do u fink people, what she want,i mean she said she misses me but she wants friendship, which i will never give her if she is not mine.. does she want that bcos she finks i gave up? i mean i havent but im on nc so she might be gettin that feeling!! i just want sum tym to fink things through and also im thinknig of not texting until she says i want you back or sumfin about having the relationship back..
Author selfrespect118 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Also on the day of the break up she was telling me how she wanted me to respect her decision if i had any respect for her and that she wont change her mind this time (she done the same fing a few times b4 and wen i quikly made up wid her ME doin all d chasing, she said she didnt mean it).. also when i kept asking her to reconsider and put things into perspective like not make decisions based on an argument she said look im not angry im calm and ive made up my mind.. she is really stubborn she accepts it herself and said for me she did want to work on it.. She is my first love and i do love her very much.. and i know she loves me too but y d *** wud u let sum1 go if u love them??mayb bcos u fink dey will always b der for u!? also her ex who was a rebound from anuva long relationship she had,that ex stayed a friend with her on the hope of getting back, i feel sorry for him but im not gonna do that!!! i cant be her friend! Im not over her how can I? I do want her back but is this too early to start again? its been 6 days..and i dont know what to do.. i mean i dont want her to move on to anuva guy, but i dont want that fear to control me to ask her back.. i want to work on any issues we had first and also for her to say I WANT YOU BACK or I WANT TO RECONSIDER.. and i dont want her to do it out of desperation, i want her to mean it.. Im so SOOO TEMPTED to text her.. please advice me what to do.. Thanks
Author selfrespect118 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Is there anyone?? Help me I don't want to leave this too late! How should I respond??
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