P&R Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 My gf told me about a movie friend she has. It's a guy her age and they just started seeing movies everyweek. Aparently she started 3 months ago, and she's alone with this guy when they go. She told me about it and I told her that it's her that it is no biggie. I feel all right about the decision but was it the right one? I just felt good that she told me about it.
Nexus One Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 My gf told me about a movie friend she has. It's a guy her age and they just started seeing movies everyweek. Aparently she started 3 months ago, and she's alone with this guy when they go. She told me about it and I told her that it's her that it is no biggie. I feel all right about the decision but was it the right one? I just felt good that she told me about it. I think it's a good sign that she told you about it, it shows she understands the dynamics that are going on regarding this and that she wants to be transparent about it to avoid potential problems. Entirely 100% sure you'll probably never be though. I must admit that a guy and girl watching a movie together on a couch allows for a pretty volatile atmosphere, but perhaps she can handle it and perhaps that other guy will respect your relationship.
lovingone Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 My gf told me about a movie friend she has. It's a guy her age and they just started seeing movies everyweek. Aparently she started 3 months ago, and she's alone with this guy when they go. She told me about it and I told her that it's her that it is no biggie. I feel all right about the decision but was it the right one? I just felt good that she told me about it. I'd have to ask, what is it like when you are your girlfriend watch movies together? Do you feel she is being distant with you. If you are uncomfortable why not suggest that all three of you watch a movie together sometime
Author P&R Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 I'd have to ask, what is it like when you are your girlfriend watch movies together? Do you feel she is being distant with you. If you are uncomfortable why not suggest that all three of you watch a movie together sometime She's a bit different towards me than most of her friends... which is to be expected. She loves cuddling with me while watching movies, I doubt it's that way with him.
youweremyanchor Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Well I think its a good sign she told you about it. And your response was good. Without making a big deal of it, I would mention something along the lines of, I hope he behaves, etc. Its healthy and even good for relationships for men and women to have friends of both sexes, as long as the intentions are good.
Author P&R Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Well I think its a good sign she told you about it. And your response was good. Without making a big deal of it, I would mention something along the lines of, I hope he behaves, etc. Its healthy and even good for relationships for men and women to have friends of both sexes, as long as the intentions are good. I told her to be super careful and not put herself into any bad situations, and that she has my full trust but I told her not to abuse it.
youweremyanchor Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I told her to be super careful and not put herself into any bad situations, and that she has my full trust but I told her not to abuse it. I'm no expert, but that actually sounded perfect! No worries Dude, unless she gives you a good reason to worry, you're golden!
Author P&R Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 I'm no expert, but that actually sounded perfect! No worries Dude, unless she gives you a good reason to worry, you're golden! I'm just struggling to know where to set the boundaries here. I made another thread similar to this but it was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I decided it was to harsh of a approach and now I'm wondering if what I said was to soft of an approach.
lois_80 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Sounds OK to me, but yeah it may be good to just let her know "make sure he behaves."
Author P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 So I asked my girlfriend for something I left and I offered to give her dinner that I made. She said no thanks... she was going out with this movie friend and she said she would get a bite to eat with him while they figure out which movie they were going to watch. I didn't think I'd be jealous... but I am and my girlfriend could tell something was up. She texted me... that was really awkward is something up? After she gave me my things. But I'm jealous, really jealous of this guy. I want to go out to movies with her, I want to see her outside of college (I see her one day a week if I'm lucky outside of school) yet she see's this guy every week.... It burns me up. How can I stop this jealousy? I already told her it was ok... I don't want to be that jealous controlling guy... I just don't.
nothappyjan Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Sorry but i think your gf is crossing a line here if she's spending every week with this guy and its cutting into time she could spend with you. Yes having friends is cool but when its just a guy and girl one on one hanging out a lot you do have to step back and consider your partners feelings. I find it funny that i was just dumped and was always so respectful of my partners feelings and tried so hard to be such a great gf and other girls can pull crap and have 2 guys for company. You sound like a great guy and i hope u find a way to solve this, if u end up single i'd have you
Author P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Sorry but i think your gf is crossing a line here if she's spending every week with this guy and its cutting into time she could spend with you. Yes having friends is cool but when its just a guy and girl one on one hanging out a lot you do have to step back and consider your partners feelings. I find it funny that i was just dumped and was always so respectful of my partners feelings and tried so hard to be such a great gf and other girls can pull crap and have 2 guys for company. You sound like a great guy and i hope u find a way to solve this, if u end up single i'd have you Hahaha thanks Nohappyjan Should I tell her that it does bother me? She can still go out with him so long as she doesn't tell me when she's going out with him? It didn't bother me until she told me.
Author P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Now I feel like I owe her a reply.. should I brush it off? Or tell her I'm jealous...
Nexus One Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) Now I feel like I owe her a reply.. should I brush it off? Or tell her I'm jealous... You could tell her: "I kind of wish it was me you'd be watching movies with. I would love to spend more time with you." Calculate the risks of saying something like that though, because while that might be true, she'll probably figure out the implications behind such a statement. Edited February 28, 2011 by Nexus One
prsguitar Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Honestly bro- THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE I have been down the same road as you in regards to this and unfortunately it doesn't sound like a very good situation for you. I dated a girl for about 10 months and she had a "guy friend" that she started hanging out with. Much like you i wanted to give her space and not try to micromanage her life. We spent quite a bit of time together but eventually, his time started to become more than my time, which eventually lead to her breaking up with me, which lead to him moving in with her. This happened in about a 6 week period. Sounds to me like she is emotionally cheating even if she isn't doing anything physical with him. But that is just from my experience. Bascially what I am saying is I was in a lose-lose- If I had gotten mad about it she probably would have resented me for trying to control her. Instead I decided to let her have her space and it ended pretty crappy for me.
Author P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 You could tell her: "I kind of wish it was me you'd be watching movies with. I would love to spend more time with you." Calculate the risks of saying something like that though, because while that might be true, she'll probably figure out the implications behind such a statement. I want to stop my jealousy... I feel like it is not right that I'm like this. It is not the right way to build a relationship. Supposively this guy has a girlfriend but I'm still jealous of her time and even a little bit of him... I don't think it's right that he gets so much time alone with her. I'm also weary because she said she had a friend that she had a crush on for the longest time. She compared every guy she dated to him and none of them measured up. I feel a little flustered here...
Recommended Posts