photogeek Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I seem to have to this thing. I can't approach a girl and automatically think of her as a potential girlfriend. Someone that I can have a relationship with in the future besides a friendship. Instead I have this thing where I have to befriend someone, get to know them for some time, then all of the sudden I find them attractive and of course the attraction builds. BUT usually this is one sided as by this time I am usually in the friends zone, or so I think. So, anyways, I was just curious as to see if anyone else was like this? Any insight to would be great.
Author photogeek Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 There are tons of people like this, and it is because you were never taught the proper order of sleeping with women. You're telling me if I showed you ten pictures of gorgeous women, you're going to say, "Well, I don't really know if I would sleep with her...what are her favorite movies?" I was never because it never occurred to me. Maybe someone in your life taught you it, but for many and including myself it was never brought up I suppose is a way to put it. Of course I would respond to the pictures like any male would, but have you met these women? Sure, they are great on the paper you printed the pictures on, but are they more then that? Do you understand how completely idiotic that sounds? It isn't natural, and the way you approach women isn't natural. Along the line you were either lead to believe this was the right approach by someone in your life, came to this conclusion on your own due to circumstances in your sexual development, or have a hormone disorder, which I don't think is the case since you said you do eventually find them attractive. And yet I posted the question on there. I must be an idiot that asks idiotic questions. That's just who I am I suppose, and yes, actually I do have a hormone disorder. I currently take 7.5 mg of testosterone because my body doesn't release enough of it on it's own. Yet, ive still thought the same way even before I was ever diagnosed. the real question is, why do you view sleeping with women before you know them on a personal level, as a BAD thing? Because let's be real, you shouldn't be thinking about a relationship with any of these girls UNTIL you've slept with them. My how religion has ruined the sexual prowess of American boys/men. It's never a bad thing, why would it be a bad thing? I never said it was a bad thing. How would having a relationship with them after having sex with them be a positive. Sure, now you've deduced that they are great in bed and can fulfill your needs sexually. Wouldn't the whole relationship be based on purely physical sexual attraction? And by no means does religion play any role in this. I don't even know how you even came to the conclusion that religion has ruined the sexual prowess.
bentnotbroken Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Nobody taught me, I had no father and no male role models in my life. Everything I learned has been through fathers of friends, fictional characters, books on how men behave, and trial and error. Ahh, explains everything.
smudge21 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I can sorta' see what you're saying. I generally find that the girls I get to know for a while first and slowly build up into a relationship are the ones I have the strongests feelings for. Not saying they always work out right, but I just have stronger feelings then I would for say the ones I meet and within a few dates have slept with. I think the way to avoid ending up in the friend only zone when you're getting to know these girls is to still keep the mystery and interest alive. Give them a reason for wanting to see you and don't always be available. Their friends are always there and they're open about everything, you don't want to be like them. For example: a previous relationship started through mutual friends and to be honest, I wasn't looking for anything, so was able to just get along with this girl without any pressure. We hit it off straight away. I wasn't hitting on her and she felt relaxed. We started meeting up every few weeks, just the odd drink, nothing serious. I liked her but wasn't thinking about anything more. I believe that lack of interest from me kept me from entering that friend zone and also sparked her interest to try harder. Eventually the flirting started and even though I responded, I was still a bit distant. By the time we got together seriously we were so into each other it was crazy.
Saphira Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 how old are you? and i see nothing wrong with you needing to be friends first. it is a great way to get to know someone. but i also see how the friends zone thing comes to play. if you spend too much time being there friend then they probably think that's as far as it will go. Have you tried asking any of them out? or maybe you can change up and ask a girl out first. you can also get to know someone within a relationship as well. good luck
Saphira Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 You're dumb. I freely gave up that information, quite pathetic of you... OH BUT HEY! Nice 9,000+ posts and avatar. You must be one of those internet pros huh!? Previous relationship huh? Sounds like the formula really worked out well for you! You can only make objective decisions about women AFTER you sleep with them, otherwise you're a chump. AKA just like the OP. You don't even sleep with your boyfriend, who is ****ing other men. Please be quiet you are clueless. man, you really have a problem. just because i havent had sex yet doesnt mean i cant give advice on other things. I have no idea why you have to be so mean, rude, and hostile about everything. you really need a major "self" change.
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