Your Favourite Smile Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 My most recent thread does explain my situation..however.. I cannot locate my recent thread on here.. I'm still not used to this site The jist is that I thought there was serious hope at starting something with an ex, but he abused my care for him and let me down. Reliable sources told me that he had presents prepared for someone for the Valentine's day. Anyways.. Im fed up and Im struggling to cope.. Firstly, Ive had to use my head and remove him from my phone and online sites. I had done this pretty soon after I found out the horrid information. I figured that if he hasnt been able to respect me, he shouldnt have any access into what goes on in my life. However, this is getting really quite difficult. He keeps cropping up because there are a lot of mutual friends about. Somehow, he keeps appearing. Whenever we come into close range online.. it all remains blissfully ignorant. I hate it. Im starting to think again about this NC idea, and how I dont think im going to feel any resolve or closure from this. Things have been left unsaid and this leaves me frustrated. I dont really want to end up contacting him if I can help it. Its him who should be realising his wrongdoing here This is such a bizarre situation for me..
Layzie89 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) Hey chin up. I too had the problem of going on sites such as facebook and seeing my ex pop up on mutual friends pages and such. EVen though I had already deleted her off my friends list, I was still seeing her comments, pictures, or anything on mutual friends pages and each and everytime I saw something of her it reminded me of the pain she caused me, and how she isn't mine anymore. I decided to go all out. I deactivated my facebook and it has helped tremendously. At first I was hesitant as I didn't want to further limit my social life by closing down my fb but I realized afterwards that the friends who matter will care enough to call/text you to see how you're doing, what you've been up to and make plans to hang out. It's worked out good for me...and it feels good to not wake up every morning doing my routine fb stalk on my ex. I've been NC 29 days now and it too has helped so much. She threw me crumbs on day 24 NC, 4 days after I deactivated my fb. I didn't text back. It felt good. Try it out PS I too was never offered any sort of closure to speak my thoughts ont he whole break up. She pretty much just got up and left...without caring to talk or see me at all. This bothered me for a bit..but after the 3rd week of NC or so...that need for closure begins to fade. Why? I think that deep down inside she knows how she ended things wasn't proper. Maybe your ex knows it too. Hang in there! Edited February 24, 2011 by Layzie89
Author Your Favourite Smile Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Thankyou for reading, and responding Funnily enough, I had considered deactivating my account recently in order to help myself get back on track with reality and the people who matter. So its great to hear that this has gone in your favour and it may help me too. It might be that my ex keeps cropping up because he knows its his only outlet to get in the way. Maybe im thinking too much into it, who knows Ive got to think about myself for now.. its difficult but I know I want to be a strong person.
Author Your Favourite Smile Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Im going to do my update here to save a new thread Its been about 2 weeks now, and my emotions are still all over the place. His name occasionally comes up in conversation.. which can only be expected I guess? Im getting the slight feeling that he may be talking to my friends online though.. trying to get on their good side. (Friends that do not know the whole story) Perhaps Im imagining all this.. Its what tends to happen when I cut myself off and start making guess work. Part of me hopes that he is seeking out some sort of connection back to me.. just so that I know that he cares.. at least a bit. I have made a rule for myself though, something I will stick to. I will not ask mutual friends for any information about whats going on with him. Any information I may receive in the future will be natural.. I hope.
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