carhill Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Hey Wogs, when my dad was fighting the Nazi's in Italy, his wife (not my mother) cheated on him, divorced him and took his two daughters, all while he was still in the war. Dear John'ed him and he paid child support without ever seeing his daughters until shortly after I was born. He never said a word about it. I only knew from reading his papers and seeing the canceled checks after he died. Good thing he was a non-violent man. Me, IDK....
Star_Bright Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Woggle- I just meant from his original post where he wrote that his current girlfriend would like him to make less money in order to spend more time together. I agree that cheating is a scummy thing to do at all, especially when one's spouse is serving overseas. I disagree that they all know what they're getting into. I once dated a military guy and he said his first marriage had fallen apart because his wife hated his job and couldn't live like that. He said he was looking for someone who could support him in his job and like his job. I think people naturally want to be able to do that, especially when it involves something as honorable as serving in the military. He told me he was going to be deployed for seven months. I was like, okay... and then he told me this happens every so often, and I asked how often, and he said about every other year he is deployed for more than half the year, plus a month-long training in another state before he leaves, plus other training he has to travel to leading up to that... so basically every other year he is gone for almost the whole year. I was like, how are couples supposed to live like that?! Basically his wife at the time was a single mother every other year, and his child didn't get to see him for half the years of his life. Maybe I'm being extreme but it sounded ridiculous to me and I told him I couldn't do it. I said I believe love equals wanting to be together and while I would be okay with sacrificing for the sake of the military and while I wouldn't cheat--I think that would be wrong--I could not willingly enter into a situation where I would not see my partner so much, and I also wouldn't want to have a kid like that. (Of course it would change when the war ends but he has been doing this for years and years already with no end in sight). I don't know how anyone is supposed to like that job or lifestyle for their spouse. Yes, I had the benefit of knowing all of this ahead of time, I think in great deal due to the fact that he had gotten divorced because of it and could warn me about it. But he and his ex wife married very young, right out of high school, with a baby on the way, and I could see where young people like that are idealistic and think they can sacrifice for the country but they have absolutely no idea of what it all is going to entail until they're in the middle of it. (And when he signed up/they got married, he didn't know he would be deployed/gone so much... that happened after he went to explosives school... so when she married him, she didn't know she was signing up for all of that loneliness). Anyway. I'm just using this one example from my own life to say while I don't condone the cheating on military spouses, I can certainly understand why it happens. I also meet a lottttttttt of military guys (there's a big base in my city) that are here for travel and will blatantly say they're married but they still want to hook up. I've learned to ask "Are you married?" when they first even come up to me... I think it is quite disgusting that they think it is okay to do that, and they are together in groups and everyone's okay when a married co-service-member goes home with someone else. I think that is just wrong unless of course the service member and his wife have an open relationship or standing "travel agreement" or what have you, and I highly doubt that is ever the case. So my point is it's not just the spouses at home cheating on the poor service members who are serving overseas... from what I have seen, it usually works in the opposite way. I think it is very sad when a wife dedicates herself to being a military spouse... which to me is a huge dedication and sacrifice (and I know it can work opposite genders too but I'm just going with the general)... and moves around to wherever the service member is stationed, not really being able to stay in one place or job for very long, and sometimes being stationed far away from her own family, like in Okinawa or Korea or what have you, and then her husband goes around cheating on her and partying like he's single when he's away for training. Very very sad.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Now you're being accusatory. Who says I want to date a guy with a trust fund? You're mistaken if most women are gold diggers, some don't have problem holding down a job. The problem is you're accusing them of being " demanding" in a relationship asking their SO to be more participating in regards to spending quality time together. A relationship isn't a game, and neither can you expect to put it into a storage bin for your convenience. If you're so busy that you can't even put in time to see the girlfriend at least once a week, you really don't have your priorities straight. Yes, it is stupid to fight over something as " working too much" but I doubt you wouldn't hesitate to cry the same excuse if you switch positions with your gf ( hypothetically, since I'm not sure if this thread even pertains to your own relationship). Well, my past relationships it's been a big deal when I have a hard week, or if I'm behind the 8ball that month and have to put in some extra effort. On the same token it's been a huge issue if I say that I can't afford things as well. A relationship should be Ok, if I have to spend extra time working for a while. Relationships should not be that demanding. xGF is a perfect example. I spend 40+ hours a week with her... primarily focused on quality time... ie.. doing stuff. I have 1 week where I work 80 hours and she only gets 20... and there is a massive freakout. I respond by scaling back my work hours, but when she wants to go on an expensive vacation and I say that it's not something I can afford right now... another massive freakout ensues. Although this is extreme... it has been a consistent issue with most post college relationships.
Woggle Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 My old boss is married to somebody like this. If she sees something she likes no matter how expensive it is she will demand he buy it and if he can't she will literally jump up and down and stomp her feet like a child. On the other hand she complains he works too much. It's probably why he is such a miserable SOB to his employees. He is unhappy at home and takes it out at work.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 I also meet a lottttttttt of military guys (there's a big base in my city) that are here for travel and will blatantly say they're married but they still want to hook up. I've learned to ask "Are you married?" when they first even come up to me... I think it is quite disgusting that they think it is okay to do that, and they are together in groups and everyone's okay when a married co-service-member goes home with someone else. I think that is just wrong unless of course the service member and his wife have an open relationship or standing "travel agreement" or what have you, and I highly doubt that is ever the case. So my point is it's not just the spouses at home cheating on the poor service members who are serving overseas... from what I have seen, it usually works in the opposite way. I think it is very sad when a wife dedicates herself to being a military spouse... which to me is a huge dedication and sacrifice (and I know it can work opposite genders too but I'm just going with the general)... and moves around to wherever the service member is stationed, not really being able to stay in one place or job for very long, and sometimes being stationed far away from her own family, like in Okinawa or Korea or what have you, and then her husband goes around cheating on her and partying like he's single when he's away for training. Very very sad. I live near a big military base, and I hear some horror stories as well of the service members overseas activities, so for sure it can be a two way street, just like everything else in life. However, when I go out to bars there are rarely military guys out cruising for an EMA, while the place is often packed with their wives looking for a wild night. Maybe they just keep most of their bad behavior to overseas travel, though I doubt Iraq is a great place to meet women.
Star_Bright Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I live near a big military base, and I hear some horror stories as well of the service members overseas activities, so for sure it can be a two way street, just like everything else in life. However, when I go out to bars there are rarely military guys out cruising for an EMA, while the place is often packed with their wives looking for a wild night. Maybe they just keep most of their bad behavior to overseas travel, though I doubt Iraq is a great place to meet women. Well, you have a point in that I have no idea which woman at the bar are married to military guys serving overseas. How would one know this? Maybe the percentages are more equal. What I experience first-hand, a lot, is a group of guys coming over to talk to my girl friend and me. They say they're in town training at our base. They live/are stationed anywhere else... the East Coast, California, Okinawa, etc., so they are not traveling overseas (well, unless they are stationed overseas and are coming back to the States for training, I guess), but they are just in town for anywhere from a long weekend to a month or more for training purposes. They will be dancing with girls at the bar and start making out with them and take them home, some of them with wedding rings on! And half of them don't wear their rings... seems to me based on my experience that almost all of them are married. I know there are exceptions and I don't mean to cast all service members (or, all service members who go out to the bar with buddies when they're traveling for training) in a bad light, but I was just using this as an example of how the shoe is often on the other foot. I haven't met women in bars who are married to the military guys and looking to cheat, but then again, the liklihood of me meeting them is a lot less than me meeting a military guy looking to cheat. So it's interesting to hear the opposite perspective, and I'm not doubting that it's true. I think what happens is that some members from both sides are out on the prowl... but you are way more likely to meet the women, whereas I am way more likely to meet the men. Imagine that, tee hee.
Titania22 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 The minute I saw this thread I thought of this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbbZ_k1Z8gU
Stung Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Well, my past relationships it's been a big deal when I have a hard week, or if I'm behind the 8ball that month and have to put in some extra effort. On the same token it's been a huge issue if I say that I can't afford things as well. A relationship should be Ok, if I have to spend extra time working for a while. Relationships should not be that demanding. xGF is a perfect example. I spend 40+ hours a week with her... primarily focused on quality time... ie.. doing stuff. I have 1 week where I work 80 hours and she only gets 20... and there is a massive freakout. I respond by scaling back my work hours, but when she wants to go on an expensive vacation and I say that it's not something I can afford right now... another massive freakout ensues. Although this is extreme... it has been a consistent issue with most post college relationships. If this is accurate, this is exactly why people keep telling you that you have had a pattern of being attracted to the wrong women. This is obviously princess-y drama queen behavior and it's not indicative of women as a whole. It sounds like your current gf is a big step up and maybe a revelation to you. She is a new phase for your people-picker, hopefully one you are carefully attuning to. It's a bit sad that you seem to keep looking backwards.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Also... if a guy is busting his hump to make money to pay for yet another set of $200 shoes... how is even remotely acceptable that his GF or wife run out and cheat with another guy. Shouldn't people like that be publicly flogged? Why did we stop using the stockades and other such embarrassing punishments for bad people like that? The scenario you propose is pathetic and in my opinion, a guy should not be working extra hours to buy his woman "yet another set of $200 shoes" under ANY circumstances. Heck, I have NEVER had a boyfriend (or my ex husband) buy me a pair of $200 shoes. I did buy several for myself, though. Back before I became gimpy. Whatever guy has this dynamic with the woman in his life, I think he got what he signed up for with her. UF, there are many couples who have navigated these issues without much difficulty at all. If a person has to work extra to maintain the basic needs, or even the (mutually agreed upon) extravagances of their lives, then nobody has grounds for "massive meltdowns" due to lack of togetherness. Same goes for the reverse - if people choose to spend more time together at the sacrifice of some material trappings, this is a MUTUAL value in healthy relationships. Again, in my relationships, work by both woman and man were contributing to these causes. By the way, are you joking, or serious about the public flogging and stocks? I believe I recall another post from you some time ago where you were praising Sharia law specifically against unfaithful women? For the record, I am horrified by the thought. If a person is a sleazebag, public shaming or physical abuse is not likely to reform their ethics. More importantly, the application of such methods depends solely upon the claims of ONE member of a relationship. With Sharia law, obviously, this will inevitably be a male perspective.
J200 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I dislike wealthy men and would never date them; they have more options and are more likely to cheat. I don't even like men paying for my dinner let alone shoes. I take pride in paying for myself. I had no problem supporting my ex bf. Wealthy men are entitled and have too many women are after them. I see no glory in being with a man for his money. I am very competitive I want my OWN wealth and my OWN glory. There's no glory in sitting passengers side in someone's expensive car. I drive my own luxury car. Wealthy men - a no-go for me.
Sanman Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I dislike wealthy men and would never date them; they have more options and are more likely to cheat. I don't even like men paying for my dinner let alone shoes. I take pride in paying for myself. I had no problem supporting my ex bf. Wealthy men are entitled and have too many women are after them. I see no glory in being with a man for his money. I am very competitive I want my OWN wealth and my OWN glory. There's no glory in sitting passengers side in someone's expensive car. I drive my own luxury car. Wealthy men - a no-go for me. Well, that depends on your definition of wealthy. Some women consider myself and my friends wealthy due to the fact that we because we have (or will have in my case) six figure salaries. However, that is mostly because we are nerds and enjoy our respective fields. I would definitely not classify any of my good friends as players. As for myself, I may be a player depending on you ask on LS . However, I think of myself being an in demand bachelor looking for the right one as I am not just trying to sleep with every woman I date.
J200 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Well, that depends on your definition of wealthy. Some women consider myself and my friends wealthy due to the fact that we because we have (or will have in my case) six figure salaries. However, that is mostly because we are nerds and enjoy our respective fields. I would definitely not classify any of my good friends as players. As for myself, I may be a player depending on you ask on LS . However, I think of myself being an in demand bachelor looking for the right one as I am not just trying to sleep with every woman I date. Six figures a year is not wealthy. A few years ago I was self employed and also pulling in six figures. In So Cal that is only "mildly comfortable", nowhere close to "wealthy". Even so I prefer dating guys who make less than me, I don't like men who are too successful. It's a red flag; too many options available for the guy to cheat.
Woggle Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Six figures a year is not wealthy. A few years ago I was self employed and also pulling in six figures. In So Cal that is only "mildly comfortable", nowhere close to "wealthy". Even so I prefer dating guys who make less than me, I don't like men who are too successful. It's a red flag; too many options available for the guy to cheat. This going to far in the other direction. Broke men cheat as well. If a person wants to cheat they will cheat and it has nothing to do with wealth.
Sanman Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Six figures a year is not wealthy. A few years ago I was self employed and also pulling in six figures. In So Cal that is only "mildly comfortable", nowhere close to "wealthy". Even so I prefer dating guys who make less than me, I don't like men who are too successful. It's a red flag; too many options available for the guy to cheat. I agree with you, I'm in NYC the same goes here as far as wealth. However, I do think cheating may have more to do with a person's individual mentality and the mentality in So Cal. To echo Woggle's sentiments, I think a young and broke Brad Pitt type struggling actor is more likely to cheat on you than George Lucas or Steve Wozniak.
J200 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) I agree with you, I'm in NYC the same goes here as far as wealth. However, I do think cheating may have more to do with a person's individual mentality and the mentality in So Cal. To echo Woggle's sentiments, I think a young and broke brad pit type struggling actor is more likely to cheat on you than George Lucas or Steve Wozniak. To be honest, my ex was broke and mentally ill and nowhere good looking as Brad Pitt.... and he still cheated (using my money for prostitutes). I actually found out by checking his records online; he was arrested for it. There is a superior court website for my county where you can view everyone's offenses where I live, from traffic all the way to felonies. So the truth is that even a broke, MENTALLY ILL guy with no money (used my money) and not the best looking (my ex was around 5'8, to me that's tall but other women might think that's not tall, didn't exercise and had no muscle tone, good features but a lot of acne scars and nothing like Brad Pitt) and did I also mention Paranoid Schizophrenic? (he was institutionalized after we broke up). Even a guy like that can cheat. So to be honest, wealthy guys can cheat but broke ones do too (and they don't have to be that good looking either). Less than $100 buys a guy a street walker. So it's pretty much hopeless. The only way to protect yourself is to be single and never be in a relationship. I am speaking the truth. I don't believe in that "it's better to love and lose then never loved at all" crap. To me, it's better to never have loved at all. Edited February 25, 2011 by J200
threebyfate Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I dislike wealthy men and would never date them; they have more options and are more likely to cheat. I don't even like men paying for my dinner let alone shoes. I take pride in paying for myself. I had no problem supporting my ex bf. Wealthy men are entitled and have too many women are after them. I see no glory in being with a man for his money. I am very competitive I want my OWN wealth and my OWN glory. There's no glory in sitting passengers side in someone's expensive car. I drive my own luxury car. Wealthy men - a no-go for me.Hey, I knew the few posts I read of yours sounded familiar. Welcome back cutegirl.
J200 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Hey, I knew the few posts I read of yours sounded familiar. Welcome back cutegirl. lol, I actually got banned a few years ago and can't log in using that nick anymore. I got banned for not being respectful towards other posters but I learned my lesson. I won't be that way again! I hope they don't ban me again. I promise to be respectful of others opinions or at least try.
Sanman Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 To be honest, my ex was broke and mentally ill and nowhere good looking as Brad Pitt.... and he still cheated (using my money for prostitutes). I actually found out by checking his records online; he was arrested for it. There is a superior court website for my county where you can view everyone's offenses where I live, from traffic all the way to felonies. So the truth is that even a broke, MENTALLY ILL guy with no money (used my money) and not the best looking (my ex was around 5'8, to me that's tall but other women might think that's not tall, didn't exercise and had no muscle tone, good features but a lot of acne scars and nothing like Brad Pitt) and did I also mention Paranoid Schizophrenic? (he was institutionalized after we broke up). Even a guy like that can cheat. So to be honest, wealthy guys can cheat but broke ones do too (and they don't have to be that good looking either). Less than $100 buys a guy a street walker. So it's pretty much hopeless. The only way to protect yourself is to be single and never be in a relationship. I am speaking the truth. I don't believe in that "it's better to love and lose then never loved at all" crap. To me, it's better to never have loved at all. Coming off a relationship with a less than healthy woman, I can empathize with you. However, being single forever isn't the answer. You just need a good people picker, a healthy level of skepticism and good friends. My guess that there were signs and you ignored them. I know that was true in my case. I am also curious why you feel the need to date men you are so far below your income level and whether you two would even have any interests. It doesn't feel as if you have a healthy level of self-esteem or concern for your own happiness. However, this is not a therapy session.
J200 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) Coming off a relationship with a less than healthy woman, I can empathize with you. However, being single forever isn't the answer. You just need a good people picker, a healthy level of skepticism and good friends. My guess that there were signs and you ignored them. I know that was true in my case. I am also curious why you feel the need to date men you are so far below your income level and whether you two would even have any interests. It doesn't feel as if you have a healthy level of self-esteem or concern for your own happiness. However, this is not a therapy session. Yea there were huge signs like 1000 of them; he said he was going to die because he jacked off too much and wanted me to buy this chinese herbal medicine that would save his life. He was actually in psychosis when I met him. Later it became so bad he thought people were killing him and thought our apartment was bugged. The signs were huge in the beginning; I just ignored them. It didn't dawn on me that he was mentally ill. I liked him because he was my best friend's brother. Me and him did have similarities/interests; we both didn't get along with our parents. He hated his mom and claimed she worked in a massage parlor. I also hate mine too I guess. We bonded cause his sister was my friend. Maybe I learned my lesson and I wouldn't date someone who would be unemployed and earning minimum wage at age 26-27 while stealing money from my bank account etc but I would be intimidated by someone successful; I would feel unworthy. I do like being alone a lot though. I am a very solitary and a real loner and don't really have the need for friends (right now I don't have even one). I've always been this way. Edited February 25, 2011 by J200
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 If this is accurate, this is exactly why people keep telling you that you have had a pattern of being attracted to the wrong women. This is obviously princess-y drama queen behavior and it's not indicative of women as a whole. It sounds like your current gf is a big step up and maybe a revelation to you. She is a new phase for your people-picker, hopefully one you are carefully attuning to. It's a bit sad that you seem to keep looking backwards. It is accurate. I don't think I pick the wrong women. I don't have a "type" so often times I've had similar bad experiences with wildly different personality types. The only thing my xGF's and xW have in common is nationality. Actually most of them were specifically raised in California. Maybe I do pick the wrong girl... I just don't really feel like I do. Current GF wants me to stop binge working. She says it's like a bulimic and it isn't healthy for me. She has offered to give up some stuff and help me cut back expenses so that making less won't stress me out. I'm not entirely sure what to make of that, but I like it. The problem is that I like to work hard in spurts instead of spreading it out. It's a technique I call batching. Sometimes it creates problems and stress but not often. The scenario you propose is pathetic and in my opinion, a guy should not be working extra hours to buy his woman "yet another set of $200 shoes" under ANY circumstances. Heck, I have NEVER had a boyfriend (or my ex husband) buy me a pair of $200 shoes. I did buy several for myself, though. Back before I became gimpy. Whatever guy has this dynamic with the woman in his life, I think he got what he signed up for with her. UF, there are many couples who have navigated these issues without much difficulty at all. If a person has to work extra to maintain the basic needs, or even the (mutually agreed upon) extravagances of their lives, then nobody has grounds for "massive meltdowns" due to lack of togetherness. Same goes for the reverse - if people choose to spend more time together at the sacrifice of some material trappings, this is a MUTUAL value in healthy relationships. Again, in my relationships, work by both woman and man were contributing to these causes. I've been in more than one relationship where I would have to put up with meltdowns and tantrums when I was perceived to be "cheap". Before I felt this was somewhat just the kind of behavior I would expect from educated career women. Now that I am older I don't believe that to be true. I see it more of a family background thing. By the way, are you joking, or serious about the public flogging and stocks? I believe I recall another post from you some time ago where you were praising Sharia law specifically against unfaithful women? For the record, I am horrified by the thought. If a person is a sleazebag, public shaming or physical abuse is not likely to reform their ethics. More importantly, the application of such methods depends solely upon the claims of ONE member of a relationship. With Sharia law, obviously, this will inevitably be a male perspective. Honestly, I'd like to see cheaters punished with something. I don't really care what. They absolutely wreck the fabric of society, cause untold emotional trauma and pain... and in most cases walk away scott free, or actually gain from it. I'm seriously not really picky. Though the more severe the more it will curtail such behavior.
Woggle Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I think that simply allowing a betrayed spouse to walk out of a marriage in one piece owing nothing to the cheater is the answer. I don't believe in getting the law involved though.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I live near a big military base, and I hear some horror stories as well of the service members overseas activities, so for sure it can be a two way street, just like everything else in life. However, when I go out to bars there are rarely military guys out cruising for an EMA, while the place is often packed with their wives looking for a wild night. Maybe they just keep most of their bad behavior to overseas travel, though I doubt Iraq is a great place to meet women. I assure you that there are entire business enterprises devoted to providing "adult fun" (strippers, prostitutes, B girls, etc.) to enlisted men. Plenty of the married enlisted fellows partake in this. Originally posted by Woggle: I think that simply allowing a betrayed spouse to walk out of a marriage in one piece owing nothing to the cheater is the answer. I don't believe in getting the law involved though. I agree 100%. The last thing I want, or that our society needs, in my opinion, is the law / government getting involved any further in how people comport themselves in personal life, including marriages. Honestly, I cannot imagine any reasonable person who was going to cheat deciding not to do so because of legal sanctions against them, or concerns about public shaming, stoning, being burned alive, etc. A person who is going to cheat almost always has a serious threat hanging over their head if they're caught. They do it anyway.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 I agree 100%. The last thing I want, or that our society needs, in my opinion, is the law / government getting involved any further in how people comport themselves in personal life, including marriages. Honestly, I cannot imagine any reasonable person who was going to cheat deciding not to do so because of legal sanctions against them, or concerns about public shaming, stoning, being burned alive, etc. A person who is going to cheat almost always has a serious threat hanging over their head if they're caught. They do it anyway. Incentives both positive and negative change human behavior. Once you know how a person is incentivized in the vast majority of cases you can predict how he or she will act. I'm not in favor of the government having control of anything, however marriages in my opinion are basically business contracts. There is often lots of money involved. The court system already has it's hands all over every step of this process anyway. When filing for a "no fault" divorce there are plenty of things that a court will actually assign fault to already. Why not just add adultery? I have a female friend who's first divorce attorney actually tried to convince her to file false physical abuse claims because that entitles her to 100% of everything. She fired him.
sweetjasmine Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 A relationship should be Ok, if I have to spend extra time working for a while. Relationships should not be that demanding. xGF is a perfect example. I spend 40+ hours a week with her... primarily focused on quality time... ie.. doing stuff. I have 1 week where I work 80 hours and she only gets 20... and there is a massive freakout. I respond by scaling back my work hours, but when she wants to go on an expensive vacation and I say that it's not something I can afford right now... another massive freakout ensues. Although this is extreme... it has been a consistent issue with most post college relationships. Your ex-girlfriend sounds like a completely spoiled brat, but let me tell you, in my current relationship, work is actively harming what we have. He just got called in this past week to work 16 hours on his day off. He's on trick shift, so some days, he comes home while I'm walking out the door or already at work, and he's sleeping when I come home. We get one weekend a month where our schedules match up and we can do something together. The rest of the time, we're lucky if we get 3-4 hours of being home and awake at the same time, and even then, a lot of that time is spent on making dinner or doing chores, so there's even less actual quality time. There's no time or energy for anything. We hardly ever do anything. It's hurting our relationship, and we're both feeling more distant than we did when we were physically separated by hundreds of miles. And yet, there's no way out. He doesn't have the option of turning down overtime when they call him in and hasn't been getting any other job offers. So I admit it rubs me the wrong way to see "relationships shouldn't be so demanding" in this context. Well, they are, and you have to put effort into maintaining a connection. I agree with papercut that you just can't temporarily shelve a relationship to work like a dog and expect there to be absolutely no effects.
musemaj11 Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 It amuses me that when a woman doesnt have money, she believes that his money is her money and her money is his money. But when a woman has money, she suddenly believes that her money is her money only. Even so I prefer dating guys who make less than me, I don't like men who are too successful. It's a red flag; too many options available for the guy to cheat. You have so low perception of yourself.
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