jane100 Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) I've read The Game (PUA) and nowhere does it recommend leaving the ladies better than you found them, lol! He was too busy getting out the door fast .... What page exactly ? I think its sad that women are so insecure (see any episode of Sex and The City - a parable for modern times, still....) but I don't think its a particular recommendation that men are now too . But I do understand - via books, websites, etc, the benefits of men and women learning emotional intelligence, just so long as it is not used destructively. I have nothing to add to OP as I am not sure what Flow is trying to work out exactly, that he didn't love her all along, that he was a player-in-waiting all along, or just insecure ... Edited February 25, 2011 by jane100
Phateless Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 I've read The Game (PUA) and nowhere does it recommend leaving the ladies better than you found them, lol! He was too busy getting out the door fast .... What page exactly ? I think its sad that women are so insecure (see any episode of Sex and The City - a parable for modern times, still....) but I don't think its a particular recommendation that men are now too . But I do understand - via books, websites, etc, the benefits of men and women learning emotional intelligence, just so long as it is not used destructively. I have nothing to add to OP as I am not sure what Flow is trying to work out exactly, that he didn't love her all along, that he was a player-in-waiting all along, or just insecure ... I've read it too. It's just like any skill set. There are those who would misuse it for their own selfish agendas just as there are those who merely want to better themselves.
sumdude Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 After my ex wife suddenly and secretly left me I went through a phase of rebuilding and learning. I was crushed and I realized that I had married the first woman that I had a long term relationship with regardless of the red flags. I had some success in my 20's but not much. Back then I was one of those clueless guys when it came to women, dating, picking up on cues, body language and the self assurance that it takes to either go after the ones I wanted or nexting the ones I needed to get away from. So I checked out and read some of the PUA stuff. A lot of it which specifically targets self confidence, learning how to pick up on interest from a woman and life skills was useful to me. Some of it was manipulative and negative crud which I pretty much ignored. Since my divorce I've had a couple short term relationships which either I ended or the woman ended. I've also had a few one night stands. I'm not into just using someone for my own desires, it's more about a mutually shared experience. I'm on friendly terms with every woman I've ever slept with except for two. One is my ex wife and it's pretty obvious why. The other is a woman I pulled the fade on .. I kinda feel a minor pang of guilt about how I handled that one. Live and learn. Tools are only as good or bad as the person using them.
fishtaco Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 No one finds it creepy that you can google "sarging" and the first instructional video you find is one where the guy is teaching his students to hypnotize women? Oh yeaaaahhh, PUA stuff is all kinds of warm and fuzzy noble advise. Well, I know of these PUA stuff, but never studied them. But outside of the logical ones like be more confident etc, the crazy stuff like hypnotize women, neuro-linguistics or whatever you call it, I just don't think they work. That's like in the realms of super powers. I bet that men that buy into those will fail miserably. So I wouldn't consider them a "threat" to women. And on the off chance they DO work on women, it'd probably work on the very weak-willed women, like those that are preyed on by cults. And for those women, a douche looking for sex is the least of their worries. Having their bank account cleaned out by cons or eating poisoned apple sauce to reach the next level of enlightenment are I think more important threats in their lives. As far as I'm concerned, PUA is no worse than make up, getting a nice body, and sexy dress. It's great when tastefully done. But crazy makeup, plastic surgery all over the place, gaudy dress can create the opposite effect. Just like when these PUA techniques are "over applied". I'm not sure why when men try to become more attractive it's automatically a bad thing. Eventually, after bouncing around, hopefully they'll find the natural balance that fits their personality and their goals.
Phateless Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I'm not sure why when men try to become more attractive it's automatically a bad thing. Eventually, after bouncing around, hopefully they'll find the natural balance that fits their personality and their goals. Very well said.
Woggle Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I really don't understand how a guy would dump a good women to go and do this. I can understand a man who got dumped himself or a guy that got out of a horrible relationship going a little wild like I did but to dump a good women just to be a PUA doesn't seem like a great idea to me. You are better off without him.
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 I really don't understand how a guy would dump a good women to go and do this. I can understand a man who got dumped himself or a guy that got out of a horrible relationship going a little wild like I did but to dump a good women just to be a PUA doesn't seem like a great idea to me. You are better off without him. Yeah, thanks for bringing it back to topic. I think things went off into discussing PUA stuff. I don't think the guy made the right choice either, assuming the relationship was going well and the OP and the ex are compatible. I've made the same mistake before. Not so I can go all PUA, but because I took her for granted. It was my mistake, and I'll remember it for the rest of my life. But I did learn from it, I hope. We'll see if I've become wiser because of the experience.
Phateless Posted February 26, 2011 Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) I really don't understand how a guy would dump a good women to go and do this. I can understand a man who got dumped himself or a guy that got out of a horrible relationship going a little wild like I did but to dump a good women just to be a PUA doesn't seem like a great idea to me. You are better off without him. PEOPLE dump good PEOPLE all the time for a variety of reasons, mainly because they're not happy. They want to see other people, they fell out of love, it's not you, it's me. It happens... Edited February 26, 2011 by Phateless
Author flow15 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Posted April 3, 2011 I really don't understand how a guy would dump a good women to go and do this. I can understand a man who got dumped himself or a guy that got out of a horrible relationship going a little wild like I did but to dump a good women just to be a PUA doesn't seem like a great idea to me. You are better off without him. He didn't break up with me just so he could become a pick up artist! He broke up with me... And now I find out that he's reading the book 'The Game' so he can pick up women... I find it disgusting because I think hes playing girls to try to make them fall for him so that he can sleep with them, and then move on to the next. I never thought he was this type of person. Anyway its been over a month now since I wrote this post so I don't really care about what he does anymore! I just wanted to know how normal it is, and basically it just makes me feel sad that this is what he has become and I feel sorry for his 'victims'! Thanks for the replies
ChessPieceFace Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 I'm not saying it is evil what he is doing, he can do what he wants. I was just shocked because I thought he was a 'good guy', not someone who plays with women for sex and then drops them when he's got what he wanted. Now you know better. His skills are why he got with you and now he's leaving you because he's a player, the type of guy that gets lots of women. Learn from the experience. Do yourself a favor and read one of those pickup guides yourself. Look at the stuff the men do to seduce women and realize how and where he did it with you and how it fooled you. Then later maybe you'll actually figure out how to recognize a "good guy" and give him a chance.
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