youweremyanchor Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Hey all, I'm new here, clearly. I'm Andrew. I was married for nearly 5 years and am currently separated from her and waiting for the divorce stuff to go through. I've been dating, quite a few women actually, but finally met someone and things changed. I'm actually open to getting back into some form of a relationship again. So basically I'm 27, coming from a longterm relationship, with a 15 month old son who lives with his mom. I've had my own family, a home, etc. The girl I've been seeing for about a month now is 23, lives with 2 roommates and likes to party/drink. When we met, neither of us were looking for anything too serious. Now we're exclusive, neither of us are sleeping with anyone else and we hang out almost everyday. We get along really well, have similar interests, similar personalities. But I can truthfully say, as much as I like her, and as good as we get along, her drinking and partying bother me. I dont think its fair for me, or anyone to expect someone else to change for them. Thats not what I'm looking for. But maybe more of a compromise? I really really like this girl. If anyone has encountered a similar situation or can give me a little bit of advice how to deal with this, etc, that would be wonderful. I could go back to casual dating and random sex at any time, but I really don't want to right now. Thanks! Andrew
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 So basically I'm 27, coming from a longterm relationship, with a 15 month old son who lives with his mom. I've had my own family, a home, etc. The girl I've been seeing for about a month now is 23, lives with 2 roommates and likes to party/drink. I would not be exclusive with her. I would be very open about that. Her partying and drinking will kill any adult relationship. Party girls don't change.
singlelife Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I would not be exclusive with her. I would be very open about that. Her partying and drinking will kill any adult relationship. Party girls don't change. Exactly. She is not ready yet. Or she may be like that always. You just got out of a ltr have fun with her and just see what happens. No need to ruin a good thing. If she gets out of hand you can always cut it off. Have fun you deserve it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Party girls don't change. I find that to be an overstatement. If anything, party girls tend to grow out of the lifestyle when they reach a certain age. OP, while I'm glad to hear that you're getting yourself out there, you have to realize that most people at your age hasn't been married or divorced. Especially those in the early twenties, they're still experiencing life and responsibilities hardly involve providing alimony and/or raising and supporting a baby. Be forewarned that if you do want to try an LTR with this young lady certain problems will arise and it will take alot of effort on both of you to work on the differences to reach a middle ground.
Star_Bright Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I would not be exclusive with her. I would be very open about that. Her partying and drinking will kill any adult relationship. Party girls don't change. Yes they do, but only when they're ready. I've had a lot of friends, from high school and college and grad school, who were huge party girls, but have since gone on to become fine upstanding citizens, in that they have careers, husbands, children, and rarely "party" as we used to back in the day. Just like it is with many guys (my brother was a huge party animal just a few years ago... now he's all married and responsible and never drinks a sip because his wife is a tee-totaler. I've had girlfriends go down a similar path although most of them still drink once in awhile, like wine with dinner or whatever.) And just like how a woman who has been a housewife for ages suddenly can start partying like a cougar (although from what I see, that is a lot more rare than party girls who stop being party girls... for me, that's as normal as going to college and then eventually settling down). I think it's silly to say people don't change... they change all the time and everyone goes through different phases, it's normal. But anyway. THIS girl is in a party stage and if it's not what OP is looking for, he should move on. They are definitely in different phases of life.
Author youweremyanchor Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks people, some food for thought! I appreciate the input
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