Andymack Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I’m thinking of sending this to my ex as the last time we spoke ended badly and I just want to leave on good terms without her hating me. We split up 7 months ago. Before reading I should give you a brief history She dumps me a week before holiday with her whole family, 2 days later says send me text to sort holiday out. I say I’m not sure about going, she says she really wants me to come. I (stupidly) agree. 3 days are ok, but after that I realise that that it doesn’t seem that we will get back together and get really depressed and can’t hide it. I do this pretty much all holiday. We exchange friendly texts the day after but when she doesn’t respond to one, I go NC for 2 weeks, I break NC on our 2 year anniversary to wish her the best, she responds 2 days later. After 2 more weeks I sent a letter that came out of those”win your ex back” books which I didn’t think was a good idea but did anyway which basically says that I agree with the break up but contact me if you want but you might want more space. She texted me straight away and asked for money that I owed her for the Gym, arrange to give her her stuff back and was generally really short with me. We do that, it’s all ok. I ask her about once a month for my stuff back, she says she’ll do it. Finally after 4 months I go to her house to get it while her sister is there so I can just get it, but we sit there talking and I don’t get round to it. Ex texts me saying to come round at a certain time to pick everything and said to bring some of her stuff that she said I could keep just to be spiteful. I say on the day that I can’t come round and she hits the roof and we have a massive fight on text and she said don’t come round, I need to get past this and I spoiled everybody’s holiday. I sent back a text saying I wasn’t going to go round, am getting past this, say sorry about the holiday and won’t contact her again. I’m not looking for a second chance (so probably the wrong forum!), I’m just looking to make peace with her and apologise to everyone for there holiday as I think I really f’ed it up with my attitude. I just want to know if this is a good idea or not or if there is any way to salvage the situation? Hey I’m not really sure how to start this or even if it’s a good idea to be contacting you as I I know I said that I wouldn’t but wanted to clear a few things up and kind of make peace as I didn’t want you to go away hating me forever. Maybe it’s too late for that but I just want you to know anyway. Although I thought your “suck it up” comment about our holiday was harsh, I think that it does have a point. It was a bad idea for me to go on holiday with you all. I’ve got to say I am really embarrassed by the way I behaved sometimes and how pathetic I must have seemed and am really ashamed of some of the ways I acted. I wish that I could not have cared less that we had split up and pretended that nothing had happened, but you were my life at that time and the fact that we were not together was killing me and despite me trying not to let it show, it became literally impossible not to. I wish you and everybody else hadn’t seen me like that cos I just feel like an utter dick about it now. If it upset everyone, then please pass on my apologies. I know I can’t take it back or make it better but I never wanted to make people around me unhappy and I want you to know how sorry I am about the whole thing. If I knew that at the time I would have gone home and let everyone enjoy their holiday without me. To be honest I wanted to go home after day 3 anyway as it was getting too much for me. There were other reasons during our time there that affected me being miserable but it’s pointless going into them as that’s not what this letter is about. I really wish I could’ve just been the normal happy person that I am and dealt with it better but it all got on top of me and couldn’t really cope with it. I shouldn’t have gone but I thought that I could win you back. When it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen the reality of the situation set in and it just made me really unhappy. Also, I don’t know what it was, maybe the sun, maybe it was being with your parents but for some reason you decided to be the amazing person that I fell in love with again, being cute, funny and playful just like it was when we first started going out which I hadn’t seen since your car accident as ever since then you had been treating me like a verbal punch bag and biting my head off over every little thing. But when you were there all I could see was this gorgeous, funny, amazing girl and the fact that I would no longer be with her got me so down which was pretty hard to hide from anybody. You always said that I can’t hide my feelings and you can always tell what I’m thinking and I really wish I could of as I didn’t want anyone to know what was on my mind. Despite what you might think (especially after receiving this) I am moving on and getting on with my life, but I wanted us to part ways on good terms, not by having a pointless war over text which achieved absolutely nothing apart from pissing us both off and I wanted to set the record straight and say sorry for my part again. I didn’t mean to piss you off, all I wanted to do was to get some things without you being there as I thought that that would be easier for us both as you still hadn’t got anything sorted even though you kept promising and I just wanted it done, but accept I may have crossed a boundary by going to your house without you being there. What happened after was stupid and just escalated out of all proportion. Again there’s no real point going into it all but there was no ulterior motive behind what I was doing, I just wanted to pick up my stuff. Like I said I wish we could have left on better terms as no matter what, you’ll always be a very special person to me and you’ll always have a place in my heart whatever happens in the future, even if you now tell me to **** off and never contact you again. I hope that doesn’t happen though and hope that maybe in time we might be able to become friends as we nearly always got on well and always had loads of fun together and made each other laugh and I would hate for the two good years we had be overshadowed by a two week holiday and a stupid argument at the end as I’ve got so many happy memories of the good times together. I hope that you are doing ok and I really just want you to be happy whatever you do. You are an amazing person and I’ve learned so much from you. Although it’s still a bit painful for me at times I’m still really happy we got together and wish you all the success and happiness in the world. I’ll always really care about you and hope that you get everything that you want in life. I’m sure that you will because you’re one of those people. Take care and look after yourself. Thoughts?
ladii Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 the past is the past leave it there...no one wants the negative past brought back up again... honestly that letter will come across as grasping at straws... don't send it...
Author Andymack Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 the past is the past leave it there...no one wants the negative past brought back up again... honestly that letter will come across as grasping at straws... don't send it... I know what you're saying, but she brought it up in the last conversation we had and I think it had been eating at her ever since we got back which was ages ago so it still obviously plays on her mind so wanted to say sorry. I don't really expect a second chance but I don't want her to hate me either. Is there any other way round as I doubt NC will do anything. I have been in solid NC for 2 months and I'm not really feeling any better about things
poorguy Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Dude don't you dare send that letter!!! It willnot resove anything and it will set you back...Onward ad upword my friend not backward
Recommended Posts