mandym Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 So before reading this, I'm going to go ahead and tell you all that most of you will think I'm stupid. & I know it. =( but this is the first time i've really talked about it & it's still hard. & sorry it's so long. Back in august 22 of 2010 we broke up after two years. Let me rephrase that; he broke up with me...OVER THE PHONE after spending all weekend together. I could tell he had been distant, but not to the point of breaking up. (btw he was off at college just an hour away. no big deal, his second year there while we were together. but we saw each other almost 4 days out of the week. but his home was in my town.) So I tried contacting him here and there. I had no clue whatsoever why we broke up. NOT ONE CLUE. it was so sudden. But I texted him because I needed to know. he never texted back. not once. not until december 29 that is. it was out of the blue as well. i hadn't been texting him (or pretty much a brick wall) for almost 2 weeks.(and when i did send texts, it was short stuff like "merry christmas"..etc) Anyways, he asked if i wanted to go see my grandfather with him, (who is ill with lung cancer, yet i saw him almost everyday. He loved my grandfather.) & of course i said yes. I needed to talk to him face to face & finally find out WHY. after 4 month, it was eating me alive. so that night we went to see my gpa. after that we rode around and talked. we hung out for about 5 hours that night. & it was just good to be in his presence again. (i know-gag ) i wanted to kill him. but at the same time just hug him. we talked about the whole break up and he admitted that he went about things all wrong. "he shouldn't have flat out ignored me & that he was sorry he did that." at the end of the night we ended up "hooking up". I KNOW. like i said, i'm stupid. well, afterwards, we talked.. as friends. that was fine as long as we contacted one another. well about a month ago, jan 29 to be exact, (we went that long without seeing each other since he was at school), i drove to his school to meet up with a friend. well she ditched me so i asked if he wanted to get lunch. so we did. & then we went back to his room & watched tv like friends. BUT THEN, we ended up hooking up again. after this, i fell asleep. ha . but then i felt him pulling me towards him and him wrapping his arms around me, he fell asleep like that. and it was like old times. it kindof broke my heart all over again. this is how we used to sleep together. after we woke up, i left and went home. he told me to text him when i got home. so i did, i never got a text back. STILL. i mean its freaking feb 23 for christs sake. ^^btw neither of us has been with anyone else. honestly i trust him about that. he's not a liar. never has been. so he's doing it again. & honestly it hurts a little bit more this time. he was my first love. my first everything. i don't know why he's doing it again this time. i never said anything about getting back together. he just didn't write back. i mean, he just walked back into my life all of a sudden and walked right back out. & i know it's mostly my fault for letting him back in. but now, i'm dealing with heartbreak all over again. =( So i just need some advice. I don't need people telling me i'm dumb. bc i'm already beating myself up over all of this. & i just don't know what to do. I haven't contacted him in a couple of days. & i'm trying not to. you know NC. it has taken a toll on me & my body. i'm depressed. i've lost 20 pounds (which i didn't need to lose.) i mean he was not only my bf of 2 years, but my best friend. i really don't have that many close friends. & i know it shouldn't be this way over a stupid guy. but it is. thanks guys<3 feels good to actually get all of this off my chest! -Mandy
allenmj Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Wow mandy, My heart goes out to you, but let me suggest this. Forget him. Seriously. I know its hard to even think about, but move on! You are obviously a smart and fun young lady with a ton to offer anyone. This guy is just keeping you close enough for the occasional hookup, then its back to ignoreville. You will, and should, find someone worthy of your devotion. This guy isn't. Best of luck!
Author mandym Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Wow mandy, My heart goes out to you, but let me suggest this. Forget him. Seriously. I know its hard to even think about, but move on! You are obviously a smart and fun young lady with a ton to offer anyone. This guy is just keeping you close enough for the occasional hookup, then its back to ignoreville. You will, and should, find someone worthy of your devotion. This guy isn't. Best of luck! Thanks =) It is hard, but I'm trying! & thanks for actually taking the time to read this, ha i know it's long & most people probably wont! again, thanks so much!
Author mandym Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 So, here's an update. As far as speaking, we still have not. I did try a few more times, but not recently. BUT, in the next few weeks a family member of his is getting married that I am close to. They expect me to come (i still stay in contact with them) and I don't know what to do. I know he will be there, and I'm not sure how that would work out. Any advice? what should I do?
depplover_1980 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Hi Mandy, I read it all and this guy is not going to be good for your sanity or self esteem. Every time you have sex with him, you are doing yourself a misinjustice because he offers no honesty to support it. If for instance he said 'hey do you fancy hooking up on a casual basis' you can then make an independent informed choice, yet he just slides up and charms you with no intent stated. It will really lower the way you feel about yourself as it leaves you feeling so used. You should not go to the wedding. You're no longer with him, so likewise have no responsibility left for family functions - politely decline and start making a stance. He will be expecting to see you there, so start showing him right now you are not the girl he thought you are and that you're stronger than him. Treat the relationship as over and embark on no contact, as well as taking up a new hobby/interest to put your passion into something else. If you have any specific questions fire away...
Recommended Posts