Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 There are a few guys (brothers actually) I've met who use the girls that they're with for money. These girls seem to have zero self respect and are willingly putting themselves through being in this relationship, and the guys take full advantage of that fact it seems like. One of the guys has been dating this girl since high school. The girl has always craved male attention and is now a stripper. They have a little girl together, and the girl makes most of the money that supports them. Up until recently she made all of the money, until he got a job less than two weeks ago. He is constantly saying he'll leave her and saying how she's a piece of s*** and wont be with her unless she stops taking her clothes off for other guys. He also demands her to give him money if he's running low, and says that they'll be together if she does something like buy him a new car. They used to do drugs together, which almost killed her, and he recently got through rehab and is trying to turn his life back around. The other guy has been dating his girl for not too long. Same story - she supports him, but they don't have a kid together, but I'm pretty sure they do drugs together. He demands that she pays for the things around the house, all the bills and all of their drugs and food and whatnot. He recently started working, but will she see any of that money? Yeah right. The other night, she was supposed to be working till four am, and while driving around, he saw who he thought was her and another dude driving around at three am. When she got home, he forced her to pack all her things and move out (of the house she pays for), kept shoving her, and demanded her to give him all her money that she had on her so he could pay the bills. She cried and said she was sorry, and asked where she'd live, but he said that he didn't want anything to do with her. The chick he saw driving around, wasn't actually her it turns out, but she still gave him her money and moved out and begged for his forgiveness, and so they're now living together again. When I saw them together recently, she was doing any and everything to please him. Personally, if any guy degraded me the way that these two classy guys degrade their women, put his hands on me, and demanded my money and kicked me out of the house I pay for, I would put him in his place immediately, and he'd be lucky if he wasn't killed in the process. Maybe it's because I actually have some self respect, I dunno. But when talking to someone about this, they said that the girls deserved it. Not because they did something wrong, but because they put themselves in these positions and don't try to get out of them. If they believe that that's what they deserve and wont strive for more, who can blame the guys for giving it to them? - What the person I was talking to said. The guys are just going after easy money, and are just using these girls to get what they want. So I'm curious as to who thinks this way as well. Do the girls deserve it? What should they do to get out of these situations? Would you ever date a girl or guy like this? Side note - I'm friends with these guys, and they're not bad people to everyone else, just to their girls it seems like. While hanging out, they're pretty cool and you wouldn't think they were like this. I just can't look at them the same way again after finding out this about them, and I'm wondering if I'm alone here or what.
fishtaco Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Reverse the gender, and your story becomes even more common. While there certainly are men that use women for money, it is more common for women to use men for money. There are users out there. Stay away from them.
musemaj11 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 About half of the world's population are using their partners then ...
Author Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Reverse the gender, and your story becomes even more common. While there certainly are men that use women for money, it is more common for women to use men for money. There are users out there. Stay away from them. I don't know of many women (who don't work) who would demand a man to give her their money and their home even if they did nothing wrong. Your definition of using someone for money is way different than what I'm trying to get at it seems. These guys are basically abusing their girls verbally and sticking with them because of their money and because their weak minded.
Author Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 What I'm trying to get at here is this. Would you date someone who is so willing to do anything for you out of fear of never finding someone else and out of fear of you leaving them? Someone who is so weak minded enough that they'd give in and do anything for you, no matter how much you verbally abuse them and will give whatever they have just so you'll be with them? Someone who uses you for the attention you give, even though they know you don't treat them well? Or would you date someone who would demand everything you have, making it seem like you owe THEM something even if they give you nothing in return? Who makes it seem like it's all your fault and that they are obligated to everything you have? Someone who will willingly take everything you have, because you've already given them everything else, so they feel like they have a right to it? When these two people find each other, is there something wrong there, should they seek help? Or is it their own fault? I think there's something wrong, and I'm just wondering if I'm the only person who feels this way, or not.
musemaj11 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I demand and give only as much as I give and get. I have principles and I believe everyone should have the same principles. "Dont take more than you are willing to give and dont give more than you are hoping to get."
Imajerk17 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 There are a few guys (brothers actually) I've met who use the girls that they're with for money. These girls seem to have zero self respect and are willingly putting themselves through being in this relationship, and the guys take full advantage of that fact it seems like. One of the guys has been dating this girl since high school. The girl has always craved male attention and is now a stripper. They have a little girl together, and the girl makes most of the money that supports them. Up until recently she made all of the money, until he got a job less than two weeks ago. He is constantly saying he'll leave her and saying how she's a piece of s*** and wont be with her unless she stops taking her clothes off for other guys. He also demands her to give him money if he's running low, and says that they'll be together if she does something like buy him a new car. They used to do drugs together, which almost killed her, and he recently got through rehab and is trying to turn his life back around. The other guy has been dating his girl for not too long. Same story - she supports him, but they don't have a kid together, but I'm pretty sure they do drugs together. He demands that she pays for the things around the house, all the bills and all of their drugs and food and whatnot. He recently started working, but will she see any of that money? Yeah right. The other night, she was supposed to be working till four am, and while driving around, he saw who he thought was her and another dude driving around at three am. When she got home, he forced her to pack all her things and move out (of the house she pays for), kept shoving her, and demanded her to give him all her money that she had on her so he could pay the bills. She cried and said she was sorry, and asked where she'd live, but he said that he didn't want anything to do with her. The chick he saw driving around, wasn't actually her it turns out, but she still gave him her money and moved out and begged for his forgiveness, and so they're now living together again. When I saw them together recently, she was doing any and everything to please him. Personally, if any guy degraded me the way that these two classy guys degrade their women, put his hands on me, and demanded my money and kicked me out of the house I pay for, I would put him in his place immediately, and he'd be lucky if he wasn't killed in the process. Maybe it's because I actually have some self respect, I dunno. But when talking to someone about this, they said that the girls deserved it. Not because they did something wrong, but because they put themselves in these positions and don't try to get out of them. If they believe that that's what they deserve and wont strive for more, who can blame the guys for giving it to them? - What the person I was talking to said. The guys are just going after easy money, and are just using these girls to get what they want. So I'm curious as to who thinks this way as well. Do the girls deserve it? What should they do to get out of these situations? Would you ever date a girl or guy like this? Side note - I'm friends with these guys, and they're not bad people to everyone else, just to their girls it seems like. While hanging out, they're pretty cool and you wouldn't think they were like this. I just can't look at them the same way again after finding out this about them, and I'm wondering if I'm alone here or what. I really don't really think you feel this way, and you're really no better than those girls. It's like pot calling kettle black. You're still friends with the guys. If you felt so strongly you'd cut them out of your life. Your own boyfriend is probably cheating on you, and he wouldn't be surprised if he has even been using your phone to do it.
Author Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 I really don't really think you feel this way, and you're really no better than those girls. It's like pot calling kettle black. You're still friends with the guys. If you felt so strongly you'd cut them out of your life. Your own boyfriend is probably cheating on you, and he wouldn't be surprised if he has even been using your phone to do it. Wow. Burn. Thanks dude for your amazing insight. Actually, these guys are my boyfriend's best friends, who I've just met and he's just got back into his life recently. I told my boyfriend exactly what I thought about them doing this to their girls, and flat out told him I would never put up with that and can't look at them the same way since finding it out, but I can't just cut them out of my life. I work with both of them, and he lives with one of them, and the other goes by his house every night (with his girl) to hang out. So unless I break up with my boyfriend AND quit my job, these dudes can't just be cut out of my life and I need to at least be civil to them, and try to be as friendly as I can possibly be. And hell no, he hasn't been using my phone to cheat on me. He can barely text with my phone since it's touch screen, let alone navigate his way through a message on the internet on there or call up some chick without my realizing it. Whether he has actually cheated on me is up in the air still (his choice of friends doesn't help his case any at all either), but thanks for bringing that issue to this thread.
Imajerk17 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) Wow. Burn. Thanks dude for your amazing insight. Actually, these guys are my boyfriend's best friends, who I've just met and he's just got back into his life recently. I told my boyfriend exactly what I thought about them doing this to their girls, and flat out told him I would never put up with that and can't look at them the same way since finding it out, but I can't just cut them out of my life. I work with both of them, and he lives with one of them, and the other goes by his house every night (with his girl) to hang out. So unless I break up with my boyfriend AND quit my job, these dudes can't just be cut out of my life and I need to at least be civil to them, and try to be as friendly as I can possibly be. And hell no, he hasn't been using my phone to cheat on me. He can barely text with my phone since it's touch screen, let alone navigate his way through a message on the internet on there or call up some chick without my realizing it. Whether he has actually cheated on me is up in the air still (his choice of friends doesn't help his case any at all either), but thanks for bringing that issue to this thread. You ARE the company you keep, Lilmisus, remember that. That either you or your boyfriend is friends with these guys says EXTREMELY bad things about BOTH of you. You know, lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas. This might sound harsh, but it is true. Sometimes being a *ahem* jerk is really the best way to get a point across. Edited February 24, 2011 by Imajerk17
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