Whatshername Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 For the last few weeks, about 5-6 o'clock, I get really blue.....sad and it is awful. I can be busy, doing things, and somewhere in this time frame, I think the reality of being out of a relationship, and alone...creeps in. Not sure if it's the lack of conversation at that time, or if it's just apparent we won't be talking at night, etc. Anyone else experience this, or something similar?
ccfan Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) Absolutely, I used to have my "7pm" blues almost every day for months after my ex dumped me 5 months ago, thank God it seems to have stopped now, but it was awful and i dreaded that time of the day so much (along with weekends btw). In my case i did some research and apparently the cause for that in my case it was being tired/hungry after a day´s work ... i found out that when the body is weak the mind tends to be weak as well , and as soon as i got home, took a shower and eat i felt so much better. Same goes when i had a cold/flu , i found me thinking and missing my ex more than ever, as soon as i got better i didn´t think of her that much. Maybe this is your case as well, remember that when we are tired/hungry/sick the demons in the head may start to torment us... and for sure i can tell you it will not last forever Edited February 24, 2011 by ccfan
Author Whatshername Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Makes sense.....especially as I eat a late breakfast and dinner. The weekends are pretty hard too, as we had LD and that was when I saw him, EVERY weekend. Thank God my daughter moved back home and i am not alone. She is enlisting in the Air Force and will eventually leave again, probably several months from now but by then I will be FINE, maybe even dating again
ccfan Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) Makes sense.....especially as I eat a late breakfast and dinner. The weekends are pretty hard too, as we had LD and that was when I saw him, EVERY weekend. Thank God my daughter moved back home and i am not alone. She is enlisting in the Air Force and will eventually leave again, probably several months from now but by then I will be FINE, maybe even dating again Yes you will!! for months and months i used to think that the 7pm blues was never going to fade... i´m not totally over my ex yet, but i can see her power over me getting weaker and weaker as times passes by and i stick to NC , now at 7pm i only feel tired and hungry, nothing more You´ll be fine, try the experiment to eat a sandwich or something healty aroung 5 and see if the pattern changes, i bet it will. Edited February 24, 2011 by ccfan
allenmj Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 For me its 6pm.. as soon as I walk in the door from work and look around. Then, I turn on some rock music, and focus on hanging out with my daughter. Tonight we drew silly elephant pictures. (Shes 4, thats cool in my book) Thats awesome dad/daughter time right there
selena_cat Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) I used to feel bad around that time too! wow,I thought I was the only one,thats why I pay on some smooth jazz- Paul Hardcastle is my fave,and came up with cocktail hour during during that time,..music is always the best therapy! Try to do something fun during that time,invite friends over or maybe join a recreation group that meets at that time,can't hurt. Edited February 24, 2011 by selena_cat
makelemonade1974 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I used to go through this as well around 4:30-5. That's when 5pm became "naptime." I would just lie on the sofa and feel sorry for myself for a while. Usually worked for a bit, and then I'd have to peel myself off of it around 6:30ish and make dinner. Part of it is probably blood sugar crash - I think a lot of people feel crappy around that time of day. For me, lying down really helped because it was a way of "caring for myself" and sometimes you just have to give in to the depression for a bit. Depression is part of the grieving process. Back in the early days, sleep was a great coping mechanism for me. I hope you feel better soon (((hugs)))). It does get easier with time.
worlybear Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Really glad that I found this thread. I thought it was just me and I've been trying to rise above feeling blue- but as you said, its really difficult.. Am on half term hol at the moment and I should be raring to go, but I feel almost that I've slipped right back to the dreadful early days when I just wanted to curl up and die:sick: Fed up with myself and am trying to get over this stupid mood-
Author Whatshername Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Thank God for Mornings! This is when I feel my best. My realization that although I miss him, I also do not have to hurt in THAT way anymore. The ache of waiting for him to propose, which was never going to happen. The ache of only having weekends and anticipating it and having it over so quick and feeling like my life was never going to change. The silence, or controlled relationship woes. I can and will get a new life(I am.......lol) without him, try new things, meet new people, buy a house and someday.......well, if he finds me before I find him, fine. If I am alone, fine. I will be FINE, even HAPPY and get my mojo back! Life on earth....I am only passing through! Call me at 5 o'clock and tell me how lonely he is and that he looks like crap, ok? lol Makelemonade..........today is the first day of the rest of our lives and he cannot touch it! Let this day be a day where we do not allow ourselves to DWELL on him, fleeting thoughts are gonna happen, but NO BOTTOM DWELLING..... "K???
radiodarcy Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Absolutely, I used to have my "7pm" blues almost every day for months after my ex dumped me 5 months ago, thank God it seems to have stopped now, but it was awful and i dreaded that time of the day so much (along with weekends btw). In my case i did some research and apparently the cause for that in my case it was being tired/hungry after a day´s work ... i found out that when the body is weak the mind tends to be weak as well , and as soon as i got home, took a shower and eat i felt so much better. Same goes when i had a cold/flu , i found me thinking and missing my ex more than ever, as soon as i got better i didn´t think of her that much. Maybe this is your case as well, remember that when we are tired/hungry/sick the demons in the head may start to torment us... and for sure i can tell you it will not last forever so true! for me, my down time is around 3 in the afternoon - - probably because it's towards the end of the day and that's when i start to get hungry and restless; which is around the time thoughts of him start to pop up. i found that there are four things that are vital in helping me cope with a break up/rejection: food, water, sleep, exercise. without those things i start to get cranky which only leads me to dwell on him which makes me more depressed; thus the downward spiral. but once i go to the gym, eat, etc. i feel much better
ccfan Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) so true! for me, my down time is around 3 in the afternoon - - probably because it's towards the end of the day and that's when i start to get hungry and restless; which is around the time thoughts of him start to pop up. i found that there are four things that are vital in helping me cope with a break up/rejection: food, water, sleep, exercise. without those things i start to get cranky which only leads me to dwell on him which makes me more depressed; thus the downward spiral. but once i go to the gym, eat, etc. i feel much better Exactly!! when we are healing a broken heart the mind is at its weakest so its really important to keep the body as strong as possible, like you said we need to really take care of our bodies with healthy food, water, TONS of sleep (for me lack of sleep was also a big cause to feel tired and miss my ex) and exercise, tons of it!!. Whatshername: I think the key for beating the 5pm blues is to get ahead of your mind and know that around that time you´ll feel sad, so like other posters said try to think about the good things in your life, and when you find yourself thinking about your ex you must break the cicle and think about something else because otherwise you are training your brain to "get blue" everyday at that time. if you can have a snack and a nap and you´ll feel better for sure... believe me this won´t last forever. Another trick that worked for me since i live in a city with horrible traffic was to get me an unlimited minutes cell phone plan, so that way when i was stuck in traffic, tired and frustrated trying to get home and i noticed her memories started to crawl in, i called my friends (who were likely to be desperated in traffic as well) and talked away. That little trick did it for me, it´s important that you find the ones that help you... you are not alone Edited February 24, 2011 by ccfan
Rose T Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I hear ya! After my break-up, I really hated walking in the door after work, so I started trying to delay my journey home, or go out more, but since then I've been trying a different approach. At first, Monday evenings were the worst for me. Weekends I've been doing so much, going out - in the daytime too, just seeing new things - but I couldn't escape from Monday nights alone at home - no-one wanted to go out so it was just me and my thoughts. Then I started listening to this excellent Buddhist sermon on YouTube (recommended on another thread here) which talks about the prisons we create and maintain - basically the places we don't want to be become psychological jails. That's helped me to rethink both my home and those quiet moments - instead of seeing the empty room with sadness and wanting to run away, I've tried to make it more of a sanctuary for reading and relaxing - basically, celebrating the silence and solitude. As soon as I got through that, my need to go out all the time has really calmed down. I also try not to sit on the internet or watch TV when I feel sad, but read, write or cook - I feel if I'm doing something active, or gaining knowledge in a more involved way, that also lifts my mood.
Author Whatshername Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Had a good day. I had minor "fleeting thoughts" but ate early and got into cooking and NO BLUES for me today! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tommy.is.my.name Posted February 25, 2011 Posted February 25, 2011 Boy I know what you mean. It's coming on 5 here now. Crummy thing is I'm new to this city, no friends here, waiting for my job to start. Too much time on my hands and mind. This sucks immensely. I moved from the warm beaches of Hawaii. Now in the cold, fake plastic trees of las Vegas. I think its time for another move. She was supposed to move here when she finished her 6 month trip to Europe. Funny how quickly I was forgotten. Well, its beer:30
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