Butterflying Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 If you're an adult over the age of 25, do you know how to swim? I'm asking because I don't know how and recently dated a guy who really enjoys swimming. We went to the beach together. Since I can't swim, I stayed near the shallow end (about 5ft deep). I also have a plastic float that I lay on sometime. He was extremely annoyed with me for not knowing how to swim. In fact, he thought it was strange. "What kind of person doesn't know how to swim at your age," he asked. So now I'm wondering if I am strange, like a weirdo or something. For this guy, me not knowing how to swim is a major flaw. The only excuse I have is that nobody ever taught me to swim. I have been meaning to take lessons but until now it wasn't a huge deal. Gosh... but if it turns out to be a deal breaker in this relationship, I need to learn as soon as possible! Is there anyone else out there who doesn't know how to swim?
Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Not to sound racist (though this is definitely a racist question) but are you black? If the answers yes, then this is not uncommon at all. Many black people have talked to me and joked around saying how none of them know how to swim, and it's close to the truth. In fact it's more uncommon for black people to know how to swim than not. Regardless, it's still not that uncommon for adults to not know how to swim. There are many areas without pools, beaches, or whatnot where there aren't ways for people to learn how to swim. But if you're really into this guy, why don't you prove it and tell him that if swimming really means that much to him, than you want to learn how to. Ask if he'll teach you even. Not only will it bring you guys closer together, but it'll be a great activity to do together. If he doesn't mean that much to you, then you still can learn how to swim if it feels like it's holding you back. But never do anything for a guy just for him, do it for yourself as well. Swimming is a great form of exercise and it's great for you, and very fun.
Author Butterflying Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 I asked him to teach me, and he tried. But he kept telling me "just lay back and float." Then he would demonstrate it doing it himself. It looked easy. But the moment I lifted my feet off the bottom, I sunk under and panicked because water was in my ears and nose. Meanwhile, he was floating and his hair never even touched the water. This happened a few times and he got frustrated because he insisted it was easy and that I simply wasn't trying. He even said, "You know how to swim, you're just afraid of the water." It seemed like some kind of revere psychology he was using to give me confidence; but it didn't work. In the end, he just gave up and swam away leaving me to stand in the water on my own.
january2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 He enjoys it so much that he berates you for not being able to share his passion yet he's not willing or able to teach you. In my opinion, he behaved poorly and disrespectfully. I don't think you should look at it in terms of your swimming ability being a dealbreaker for him but rather his poor behaviour is a dealbreaker for you.
Lilmisus Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I asked him to teach me, and he tried. But he kept telling me "just lay back and float." Then he would demonstrate it doing it himself. It looked easy. But the moment I lifted my feet off the bottom, I sunk under and panicked because water was in my ears and nose. Meanwhile, he was floating and his hair never even touched the water. This happened a few times and he got frustrated because he insisted it was easy and that I simply wasn't trying. He even said, "You know how to swim, you're just afraid of the water." It seemed like some kind of revere psychology he was using to give me confidence; but it didn't work. In the end, he just gave up and swam away leaving me to stand in the water on my own. Someone needs to learn how to be more patient and understanding, jeez. Swimming is really easy though when you get used to it. If I could, then I'd teach you even , but since the internet is not the best way to teach someone the art of swimming, why don't you try taking swim classes? It doesn't seem like he's ever had to teach someone how to swim, so it's understandable that he had little patience while trying to teach you, but it's still uncool how he gave up after only one "session" of you trying. I don't know where y'all were learning at, but some idea for the future, is to be in maybe a pool or something, some where you can hold onto the side of the wall, and learn how to kick your feet and get used to it that way. Maybe even try wearing goggles and a snorkel next time so you don't worry when it gets in your nose. Floaties and noodles can also help those who are new to swimming, that way you can get used to floating while still learning how to kick and balance yourself. But above all, ask yourself if you're willing to be with someone with such little patience with you. "Love is patient, love is kind.." don't forget that, and ask him to have a little bit more patient and understanding next time (if there is a next time) that he takes you out. But I still stick by taking swim classes, or even asking some friends if they'd be willing to teach you if they know.
Nexus One Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I don't think you should necessarily learn to swim FOR HIM. Learn to swim for your own sake, for your own safety.
mo mo Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 That's funny, the thread topic is very broad and the OP is very specific. Tell him to teach you how to swim. Don't take it personally. THE END
Ms. Joolie Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Well I know how to keep afloat and have fun in deep water. That's good enough for me! I'm not exactly going to show off doing laps in a pool or anything though. If the guy I was with was a swimming nerd, I may consider taking lessons so that we can enjoy swimming together. I would NOT take swimming lessons to prove myself or try and meet his standards somehow. That he was annoyed by this, made you feel strange/weird/embarrassed about it, was rather uncouth of him. Pick your head up and learn how to swim OR pick your head up and never learn how to swim. If SWIMMING is the 'make or break' in the relationship for this guy, he's just too much of a nerd for me.
poorguy Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 If I were dating a girl who didn't know how to swim I would somehow think it was cute. Then what I would do is freaking teach her how to swim!!! Plain and simple. It would be like, something to do together??? Man he should have been more upfront about this issue when you first began to date lol
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