Jump to content

is "too busy" ever a legitimate excuse..

angelboots

By angelboots
in Second Chances

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

angelboots Established Member

angelboots

Posted
Posted (edited)

Im curious what other LS users think about this. Is "I am too busy" ever really an excuse to break up a relationship? I personally believe that there are two things a person should consider when this comes up.

 

1) if a person loves and truly wants you, they will make SOME form of time for you with in their busy schedule, even if it is just a quick text saying, "hey i am flat out with work/school just want you to know i am thinking of you" atleast every few days..... Some way or another, they will make time.

 

Personally I know if i am interested in some one making time to let them know I am thinking of them is easy and I lead a busy life too, between studying for my Diploma in Social Services, I also work three volunteer based youth work jobs (charity fundraiser for youth projects, youth drop in center volunteer 10hours a week, youth radio show host twice a week) as well as raising my 7yr old daughter who has special needs as a single mum with no support from her father, raising my 16 year old baby brother who has drug and mental health issues and running a household... all that and I am only 27 myself.

 

 

 

 

2) How much time are you willing to put into the relationship and how much time are you happy to receive from your partner.

 

 

Again my personal belief is that if I am willing to happily put (x) amount of time into a relationship, i am unhappy if my ex wont even put in a third of that effort.. some people want 50/50 mutual effort, others are prepared to accept 20/80 contact effort..

 

 

After begging.. and i mean constant contact BEGGING me to forgive him and give him another chance, my ex blew hes second chance by very obviously not giving me any time, claiming he was too busy with work, as he is working away, to talk to me more then once a week, yet he would be online talking to friends for three hours or more a day, yet he couldn't find time to send me a simple text in reply to something from me such as " i am thinking of you" :o so i turned it around and told him that i thought we were both too busy to make it work, as i wasn't happy with the amount of time he was willing to give me each week and told him i was sorry but i needed to focus on work too.

 

He got really mad and acussed me off being too needy and demanding.. maybe i am. i mean, if a person can dedicate three hours or more a day to begging you to come back.. but the minute you say "i am willing to try" they go back to one text a week... pffft... i would have been happy with one text a day.. so friggen needy..

 

I feel silly complaining but I know I am a low needs girl.. yet that thought ruined our second chance for me. He dumped me, used me, lied to me, cheated on me.. all that and i reasoned "no second chance for you" based on the fact he claimed he was too busy to talk to me... to him I was a fall back girl and I know that.. but i want this to be a general question.. Is I am too busy a legitimate excuse?

Edited by angelboots
Jannah Established Member

Jannah

Posted
Posted (edited)
Im curious what other LS users think about this. Is "I am too busy" ever really an excuse to break up a relationship?
If someone says they are too busy for a relationship and they want to break things off, it means they do not want to be in a relationship with the person, period.....OR they prefer to invest their time in other things (i.e. their career, school, friends,..............) versus a relationship.

 

I was with someone for 6 years, and he worked double shifts regularly, but he always made time for us. Even if that meant going over to his house after he was done with work and sleeping over or meeting for dinner during the week. Despite how things ended between us, it was like that from day one and throughout the course of our relationship.

 

So, I agree with you on your points, but in your case - The fact of the matter is, is that when you're in a relationship with someone and you want to remain in that relationship, you learn to balance spending time with each other as well as work, school, friends and family.

 

It doesn't sound like your ex's heart was in it, and as much as that hurts you, the relationship just wasn't right for him, especially given this:

 

He dumped me, used me, lied to me, cheated on me.
Edited by Jannah
  • Author
angelboots Established Member

angelboots

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thank you Jannah for your input :)

 

With regards to my case, I was the one who decided not to allow him the chance to have a second chance with us, because hes words and actions were contradictory, but what prompted me to asking other LS users about their beliefs on the "too busy" excuse, was that my ex decided to say i was too needy and demanding because I expected more then a text a week to show he was committed to working things out and he told me he was "too busy" to commit to that.

 

I think in my case the only relationship that will suit my ex is by being with a blow up doll who expects nothing from him lol I know i made the right choice but i would love to hear form any users who genuinely WERE to busy to be with their ex's?

Edited by angelboots
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...