thisguyagain Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Bit of background: Me and this girl were seeing each other for a few months. It was a whirlwind type thing and we fell in love. I told her one night that I wanted to take us seriously and give things a go. She said that she was terrified, that she loved me but wasn't emotionally ready. I knew she had a lot of things going on, so I was upset but she promised me I was the only one she wanted, she just couldn't. Two weeks later and she sent me a text saying she's still with her ex. Devastated doesn't even cover how I felt. I'm still not over it, it hurts so much two months later. She says she still loves me and she made the wrong choice getting back with him, that she was scared, but that she can't leave him again because they both need eachother, even though she doesn't love him. I don't think she realises just how much it f*cking hurts to think of the girl you love with someone else. I told her we couldn't speak any more, but it never works. Now I've just got a job near her, I'm moving this weekend, and she text me and asked if I wanted to hang out and go for coffee. I initially declined, but now I'm really not sure. It would kill me to see her but know she's not mine, that she's going home to someone else. But at the same time, as she says she still loves me, maybe I could show her what she's missing. Maybe change her mind without asking. I just don't get it, I've been dicked about so much but I can't stop wanting to be with her. We had more in common than anyone else and I've never been the most sociable person, but she really gets me. What do I do guys? I'm well and truly lost here. I don't know what to do
2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I may be being premature here but I think she has a merry go-round of options and you are one of them. If she is openly saying she is staying with her ex but doesn't love him but then wants to go out to coffee with you then that is totally not on and is using you as an option for HER plans. I would tell her you are not going to be screwed about like this and just ignore her. I know it is hard but think how much this entanglement she has foisted upon you is hurting now. If she finished with you for her ex and then decides to see if you are still up for it after it does not work out with her ex then this is very selfish and she is using you and DOES NOT care for you or your feelings. Someone that really wanted to be wit you and love you would not do this. If you let this go on she will keep doing this, and you will keep waiting about while she dates other guys and then comes back to you (or not) when it doesn't work out. GET OUT. 2011
Mcnulty Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Definitely don't go for a coffee with her! She's doing this behind her bf's back don't forget, so she could have and might have did it to you too! She's not daft, she's got 2 safety nets you and the bf. Don't believe her words of disdain for her bf, I think she's talking out of her ass. Move on as hard as it is and start NC.
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