kaygato Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I'm so tired of this. I feel like I'm just going in circles. The breakup makes this worse most definitely, but I just feel so inadequate right now. I wish I could forget my ex and I ever dated. It's horrible. Of course, I think his going and getting a new gf so soon after is what really hurts me. It's like he decided I wasn't good enough and dumped me as soon as he found someone better. I know I was having a lot of issues and he shouldn't have had to stick around while I sorted myself out, but then why didn't he just leave me alone after dumping me? Sure, I didn't want him to leave me alone, but I wish I'd have just done NC immediately. Now I feel like an idiot. I feel like his friends and family must all be laughing at me right now. As much as I still love my ex, the bad feelings are most definitely outweighing the good right now. I wish rejection didn't hurt so much. I'm not emotionally ready to get into a new relationship right now. I just wish there was some way I could forget about my ex. I don't want to see or speak to him again. I just want to be happy again. I just wish this would be over with. I'd rather not care. I want to be happy being single again.
fiat500 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 (edited) hey, you will get there. i'm going through the exact same thing as you and i'm more than 5 years older than you! think about this. my ex is the same age as me, is in college, and is acting like your ex. isn't that SAD? but you're making so much progress even if you don't feel it. it is natural to feel ashamed and go back and forth with feeling happy and sad while you are dealing with a break up. just take time and heal. accept the fact that getting over this break up will take a little while. it hasn't even been 6 months yet for you. i think you know that he and his family are not laughing at you. it's just the shame you feel right now. the truth is, he's just an immature guy and he isn't laughing at you because he isn't thinking of you. just remember you are stronger than him because he couldn't deal with being alone so he had to find someone else to date. think about the maturity level here. he gets out of a relationship with one girl and jumps straight into another one. sooner or later people have to face themselves and grow up. Edited February 23, 2011 by fiat500
Author kaygato Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 hey, you will get there. i'm going through the exact same thing as you and i'm more than 5 years older than you! think about this. my ex is the same age as me, is in college, and is acting like your ex. isn't that SAD? but you're making so much progress even if you don't feel it. it is natural to feel ashamed and go back and forth with feeling happy and sad while you are dealing with a break up. just take time and heal. accept the fact that getting over this break up will take a little while. it hasn't even been 6 months yet for you. i think you know that he and his family are not laughing at you. it's just the shame you feel right now. the truth is, he's just an immature guy and he isn't laughing at you because he isn't thinking of you. just remember you are stronger than him because he couldn't deal with being alone so he had to find someone else to date. think about the maturity level here. he gets out of a relationship with one girl and jumps straight into another one. sooner or later people have to face themselves and grow up. Thanks Fiat. May I ask how old you are lol? I'm feeling a lot better since focusing on all the things that bother me about my ex. I just knew he'd go and get a new girlfriend almost instantly. He really can't handle being alone. The mutual friend who introduced us and I were talking about him and how much he complains about rejection from the opposite gender. He is a nice guy, but he has too many hang-ups as far as women are concerned. He's really impatient as well. I dunno...I'm glad I'm starting to be more annoyed with him. I kept going back and forth on the no contact issue mainly because I didn't want to push him away and ruin the possibility of a future second chance. But I realize that I don't even want that now, if ever. Maybe it would be possible years from now. I've been too much of a doormat throughout our relationship, and especially after the breakup. But one good lesson I learned from this breakup is that I need to start being more honest and direct about who I am and what I want. So if he does try and talk to me to be "friends"...I'll just politely say I'm not ready for that and I think it'd be best if we just didn't contact each other. It would be a lie if I said I wanted to be his friend right now.
makelemonade1974 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 When someone rejects you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You are a valuable, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate human being and you need to continually tell yourself that. The worst part of a breakup is this perceived rejection, but you have to stop telling yourself that it is your fault - it's not. It has nothing to do with you. You tried the best you could and the other person, for whatever reason, was not willing to try anymore. It's their loss. Now it's time to rebuild your life. Reinvent yourself. You are a valuable person. Screw them - they don't deserve you!
fiat500 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Thanks Fiat. May I ask how old you are lol? I'm feeling a lot better since focusing on all the things that bother me about my ex. I just knew he'd go and get a new girlfriend almost instantly. He really can't handle being alone. The mutual friend who introduced us and I were talking about him and how much he complains about rejection from the opposite gender. He is a nice guy, but he has too many hang-ups as far as women are concerned. He's really impatient as well. I dunno...I'm glad I'm starting to be more annoyed with him. I kept going back and forth on the no contact issue mainly because I didn't want to push him away and ruin the possibility of a future second chance. But I realize that I don't even want that now, if ever. Maybe it would be possible years from now. I've been too much of a doormat throughout our relationship, and especially after the breakup. But one good lesson I learned from this breakup is that I need to start being more honest and direct about who I am and what I want. So if he does try and talk to me to be "friends"...I'll just politely say I'm not ready for that and I think it'd be best if we just didn't contact each other. It would be a lie if I said I wanted to be his friend right now. I'm 24. lol. it's sad that crap like this happens at any age now but you learn from mistakes and become a better person than your ex. That's the key. By doing that you set yourself up for better things later on.
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