wbr4p Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I think a few mos ago i was ok until he tried talking to me again, and i always play it cool and smart I dont actually want him back but by GOD i am still in so much pain its unbelieavable. I cant sleep and i cant eat well, i lost 2lbs in 4 days. I think im having a panic attack right now. I keep insisting in my head this guy is butt ugly, even a close girl pal he flirted w/ told me (and everyone else) that she doesnt want him cause he is "ugly". I dont know why i like him.I honestly think even though sometimes im an ******* I am a good person. I honestly care for peoples welfare even if they are strangers and i have high amount of guilt for the bad stuff i do or did. I have a string of male orbiters that are very handsome and "virile" (if that counts) why am i pining for this guy? I am so seriously confused. These other guys have way better jobs and have a good standing in life yet I am here on a dirty floor licking the dirt. I just got so used to the fact this person was like me, and i keep reading this **** we are attracted to things that are like us. He doesnt give a **** about me, and he never did give a **** about me, all he did was waste my time. I couldve used that time dating throngs of men. I am actually willing to let go of the internet and my phone number just so i can bury him in the dark recesses of my mind. I am turning 29 this year and I dont think i have a problem find a man to get married to, I am scared to make a mistake, but i would very much love to settle down already and give this love to someone who very much deserve it. I feel like my hands are so cold right now and I just wish there was a speedy way to really burn him and erase him and delete him off my head. The anger and bitterness is turning me into an ugly witch. I miss him so ****ing bad.
smudge21 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Basically emotions completely screw you up. They say love is blind and it totally is. I can look back at some ex's who at the time I couldn't get enough of, and now I see them and I wonder what the hell was I thinking?!?! Eventually you will get over these emotions and see him for what he truly is; those rose tinted love glasses will have gone. But you need to stay NC and try your best not to respond should he get in touch. Clearly you know you can do better but for now, just concentrate on enjoying yourself rather then jumping into another relationship. Live life and have fun, then before you know it, you'll be ready again and over this Shrek look-a-like.
Author wbr4p Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 lol smudge thanks.. ahhaha shrek look alike weirdly enuf i cant sleep for more than 5 hrs now, i think talking to him again has proven detrimental for my sanity (or whats left of it) as well as my self esteem.
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