Mrcoolice Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 My friend and his girl set me up with her sister one night at the bar. We talked, everything went well, She said she thought I was cute and gave me her number. I texted her the next day to say I had a good time, she's very pretty, I'm glad we met and we should do it again. She agreed very enthusiastically and again said she thought I was cute. One day I texted her and got no reply but the next day she texted me first thing in the morning to say she was sorry, she was sleeping. Ok fair enough. As time went on we continued to text (me always being the one to text her first). I added her on facebook and she accepted, although it took her a couple days to do so. So valentines day came around and I brought up the idea of going out together. She came up with some excuse about spending the night with her girlfriend because she was upset about a guy (complete bull crap obviously). I said ok no problem and took that as a cue to back off. I didn't text her for while, then I texted her just making small talk. She always replies very fast and is very sweet and respectful. I asked if she was up for maybe going to dinner sometime and she said "it's a possibilty“, which kind of seemed strange to me, seeing as how she seemed very interested in the beginning, said I was cute, etc. Then I said I had the feeling she was seeing somebody else. She said she was talking to someone but nothing serious, its just that she just got out of a relationship and didn't want to rush into anything (understandable if true). At this point I'm not sure if I should keep bothering this girl, she's says I'm not bothering her but like I said im always the one to initiate conversation. She's either: 1. Telling the truth, wants to take things slow. 2. Not interested and doesn't have the heart to tell me. 3. Still hung up on her ex and doesn't know what she wants. 4. Playing hard to get. What do you guys think? Should I continue to text this girl? Wait for her to text me? If she really wanted to talk to me she would text right? Keep in mind I'm not some desperate loser, I'm usually very good at figuring these things out for myself.
Lilmisus Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 My friend and his girl set me up with her sister one night at the bar. We talked, everything went well, She said she thought I was cute and gave me her number. I texted her the next day to say I had a good time, she's very pretty, I'm glad we met and we should do it again. She agreed very enthusiastically and again said she thought I was cute. One day I texted her and got no reply but the next day she texted me first thing in the morning to say she was sorry, she was sleeping. Ok fair enough. As time went on we continued to text (me always being the one to text her first). I added her on facebook and she accepted, although it took her a couple days to do so. So valentines day came around and I brought up the idea of going out together. She came up with some excuse about spending the night with her girlfriend because she was upset about a guy (complete bull crap obviously). I said ok no problem and took that as a cue to back off. I didn't text her for while, then I texted her just making small talk. She always replies very fast and is very sweet and respectful. I asked if she was up for maybe going to dinner sometime and she said "it's a possibilty“, which kind of seemed strange to me, seeing as how she seemed very interested in the beginning, said I was cute, etc. Then I said I had the feeling she was seeing somebody else. She said she was talking to someone but nothing serious, its just that she just got out of a relationship and didn't want to rush into anything (understandable if true). At this point I'm not sure if I should keep bothering this girl, she's says I'm not bothering her but like I said im always the one to initiate conversation. She's either: 1. Telling the truth, wants to take things slow. 2. Not interested and doesn't have the heart to tell me. 3. Still hung up on her ex and doesn't know what she wants. 4. Playing hard to get. What do you guys think? Should I continue to text this girl? Wait for her to text me? If she really wanted to talk to me she would text right? Keep in mind I'm not some desperate loser, I'm usually very good at figuring these things out for myself. Honestly, I don't think that she's that into you, and you guys were probably set up that night because of her recent break up and because she needed a rebound guy to show her that there are plenty of great fish in the sea..and you were the perfect guy to help show her that. It seems like you're her second choice if her first fails her, which is NOT something you want. She mostly is still hung up on her ex, therefore needs her space, but it seems like she's interested in someone else as well. Throw you into the mix, that's three guys who she's debating over what to do. One of which is trying to leave her life, the other she's trying to bring into it, and you..who's willing sitting on the sidelines waiting for her to make up her mind. Since you're not the guy she's "talking" to, and not even keeping semi-daily contact with her, it shows that you're not on the top of her list of priorities, which is where you need to be. I say move on, and find someone who will put you on their list of priorities. Though, if she does put you on her list of priorities and asks you out (don't ask her out again, or initiate communication with her if you can help it) then it's completely up to you to decide what you want to do.
Author Mrcoolice Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Honestly, I don't think that she's that into you, and you guys were probably set up that night because of her recent break up and because she needed a rebound guy to show her that there are plenty of great fish in the sea..and you were the perfect guy to help show her that. It seems like you're her second choice if her first fails her, which is NOT something you want. She mostly is still hung up on her ex, therefore needs her space, but it seems like she's interested in someone else as well. Throw you into the mix, that's three guys who she's debating over what to do. One of which is trying to leave her life, the other she's trying to bring into it, and you..who's willing sitting on the sidelines waiting for her to make up her mind. Since you're not the guy she's "talking" to, and not even keeping semi-daily contact with her, it shows that you're not on the top of her list of priorities, which is where you need to be. I say move on, and find someone who will put you on their list of priorities. Though, if she does put you on her list of priorities and asks you out (don't ask her out again, or initiate communication with her if you can help it) then it's completely up to you to decide what you want to do. I agree and I think your right, but why would she say she's interested if she's not? Why even bother responding at all, never mind being so sweet? I'm just worried that if I don't put enough effort in and end up losing contact with her when there might have been potential for something.
Lilmisus Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I agree and I think your right, but why would she say she's interested if she's not? Why even bother responding at all, never mind being so sweet? I'm just worried that if I don't put enough effort in and end up losing contact with her when there might have been potential for something. Well she probably was, but after thinking about it, she may have realized that she was interested in someone else more than she was interested in you. Also there's the chance that she was just trying to be polite. Though I know it's not the same as your story, my friend has had a guy basically bother and annoy her to death for the past few years. If she so much as says "hi" to him it gives him the encouragement to ask her out and call her multiple times until she flat out says "I'm not interested, back off." And he does..until a few months or year later when they say hi again. My point is..some girls don't like to be rude and hope that just by not trying to initiate contact, that the dude will get the hint and back off. If there were no other guys involved in this though, and everything else happened like you said, then I would say keep going, she's playing hard to get, but I don't think she is in this case. Plus, if you keep pushing then it's going to give the entirely wrong message to her. Even if she is interested, you need to keep some mystery and have her do some of the chasing as well, or else she'll get bored all the more quickly. Just back off (until she comes to you) and see who else is out there.
Author Mrcoolice Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 (edited) Well she probably was, but after thinking about it, she may have realized that she was interested in someone else more than she was interested in you. Also there's the chance that she was just trying to be polite. Though I know it's not the same as your story, my friend has had a guy basically bother and annoy her to death for the past few years. If she so much as says "hi" to him it gives him the encouragement to ask her out and call her multiple times until she flat out says "I'm not interested, back off." And he does..until a few months or year later when they say hi again. My point is..some girls don't like to be rude and hope that just by not trying to initiate contact, that the dude will get the hint and back off. If there were no other guys involved in this though, and everything else happened like you said, then I would say keep going, she's playing hard to get, but I don't think she is in this case. Plus, if you keep pushing then it's going to give the entirely wrong message to her. Even if she is interested, you need to keep some mystery and have her do some of the chasing as well, or else she'll get bored all the more quickly. Just back off (until she comes to you) and see who else is out there. Point taken. I will take your advice and back off. I haven't talked to her in like four days now. I guess I won't contact her and see if she contacts me. I just worry cause I know no matter how interested some girls are they won't pursue a guy. Edited February 23, 2011 by Mrcoolice
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