yah Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 SO knows I'm here and what my username is. In fact, I show him posts for amusement. He doesn't care and I doubt he's looked for my posts about him. I don't see the need to keep things from him.
allina Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 My husband knows that I post on LS and he knows my name on here. LS is treated like my diary and anonymous listening buddy and my SO does not read my posts. I wouldn't want to hide my being here from him but this is my private place.
threebyfate Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Wonder if this pattern is telling. The LS members in happy relationships/marriages who've posted in this thread, have near-unanimously divulged LS to their SOs. The LS members who aren't in relationships/marriages wouldn't divulge even if they were in relationships/marriages.
johan Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 And then he revealed his LS identity? Who is he? b4R? Land Shark? Hot Carl? Alphamale? Tony T?
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 And then he revealed his LS identity? Who is he? b4R? Land Shark? Hot Carl? Alphamale? Tony T? Honey? Is that you???
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Weird in what way? Weird that she told him or that he was curious enough to continue asking? Wonder if this pattern is telling. The LS members in happy relationships/marriages who've posted in this thread, have near-unanimously divulged LS to their SOs. The LS members who aren't in relationships/marriages wouldn't divulge even if they were in relationships/marriages. Interesting. It took me awhile to tell him who I was because, yes I was afraid it would backfire. I was also worried that it would affect my capacity to post in the future. Then I remembered him. Who he was and how understanding and trustworthy he is. Never once has he held anything against me. Why would he have started now? We've been able to work through many things together. I trust him - I trust our capacity to deal with issues in productive positive ways. I think it is easy to be honest with the right person.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 My BF knows I'm on LS and has known my screen name for a long time. He always asks what is going on with the love forum! lol He said he had never read my posts but I wouldn't care if he did. I talk about everything I post on here with him anyway.
johan Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Honey? Is that you??? Now that you mention it...
Pyro Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 When I first joined, this guy proposed on his GF through LS. I wonder if I could manage to find the thread. (ps, sweetie: it's been done. No using LS to propose .) was it Spiderman and Littlekitty? As for the question, my fiance has no idea I post on here.
EasyHeart Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I made the mistake of telling a GF my screen name on a message board once. Once. It was all cute when things were fine, but it was not so cute when we broke up. Never again. I come to internet message boards for privacy. Even in a relationship, people need some privacy and some activities that belong only to them. I don't think relationships need to be so compulsive that we share everything we say and do with our parter. Especially a board like LS -- telling your partner about this board cuts off any chance to get advice when (not if) you ever need it.
january2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I used to post regularly on another relationships forum years ago and my partner at the time knew about it and also knew my username. I trusted him with that kind of stuff though, because I knew he was not the kind to pry. Though granted, I only ever said positive things about us - never posted to vent or ask for advice. Occasionally, I'd mention news about my online friends and he'd get to know the various usernames and personalities in that way. I don't know if I would tell a future partner about my online activities. I think it would depend very much on the person. I do hope that I will be able to, because if my online life is a major part of my life, whilst I wouldn't necessarily want to share it, I'd want to at least be able to talk about it with my partner.
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 was it Spiderman and Littlekitty? As for the question, my fiance has no idea I post on here. Hehehe! Maybe it is Spiderman and Littlekitty! I'll have to search their posts. It was really cute. I remember feeling completely shocked that two people could be so open to each other. I made the mistake of telling a GF my screen name on a message board once. Once. It was all cute when things were fine, but it was not so cute when we broke up. Never again. I come to internet message boards for privacy. Even in a relationship, people need some privacy and some activities that belong only to them. I don't think relationships need to be so compulsive that we share everything we say and do with our parter. Especially a board like LS -- telling your partner about this board cuts off any chance to get advice when (not if) you ever need it. What happened exactly? I imagine that all comes to worse, I can always talk to my friends IRL or get another username (and use the Kamille account to notify my LS friends about the new account). But really, I imagine I'll use the Kamille account and live with the consequences. If we ever get to a point where I can't discuss an issue about us with him, then I'm going to have to ask myself some serious questions.
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 I don't know if I would tell a future partner about my online activities. I think it would depend very much on the person. I do hope that I will be able to, because if my online life is a major part of my life, whilst I wouldn't necessarily want to share it, I'd want to at least be able to talk about it with my partner. That's pretty much what happened. I talked about some of the things that were going on here and he got curious. Now the fun part is that he actually knows some of my peeps here. It's almost like introducing him to a circle of friends.
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 was it Spiderman and Littlekitty? Yup! It is Spiderman and Littlekitty: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t103613/
Cee Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I probably will never admit to my BF that I'm on LS. I prefer to be anonymous on the board. I'm even taking steps to ensure he won't recognize me on the board even if he stumbled on it. I'm being more vague about details about him and my life. To be honest, I don't think he'd be bothered by the content of my posts. I think he'd be more bothered by how I waste too much time on a message board. He'd probably tell me to get some sunshine and exercise.
tigressA Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I really don't know if I would tell my BF I post on LS and what my username is. Not sure I would want him reading all the vitriol about my ex, C. I wouldn't care if he read the posts about himself, though--I already told him how I assumed our first date would be a disaster because I thought he was an attention whore, what with his car picture.
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 To be honest, I don't think he'd be bothered by the content of my posts. I think he'd be more bothered by how I waste too much time on a message board. He'd probably tell me to get some sunshine and exercise. Yeah... I already got some of the "8000 posts??? You're really addicted aren't you?". I guess as long as it doesn't negatively impact our time together, I should be fine. I really don't know if I would tell my BF I post on LS and what my username is. Not sure I would want him reading all the vitriol about my ex, C. I wouldn't care if he read the posts about himself, though--I already told him how I assumed our first date would be a disaster because I thought he was an attention whore, what with his car picture. That is cute. I wouldn't have been able to divulge my identity anytime in the first year we were together. But, by now (20 months together), bf pretty much knows most of what happened in my past and how I responded to it. He's also seen me upset, anxious, vitriolic, annoyed, angry, etc. While I was nervous about some of the things I posted on here, he responded with a lot of empathy to it all. He's the best.
tigressA Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 That is cute. I wouldn't have been able to divulge my identity anytime in the first year we were together. But, by now (20 months together), bf pretty much knows most of what happened in my past and how I responded to it. He's also seen me upset, anxious, vitriolic, annoyed, angry, etc. While I was nervous about some of the things I posted on here, he responded with a lot of empathy to it all. He's the best. I feel like BF would be really understanding, too. One of these days I'll likely 'fess up. In past relationships I didn't feel comfortable enough, but I feel like I would be with him.
USMCHokie Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 That's pretty cool Kamille! Even after some recent experiences, I would still have no problems with a SO knowing about my past and present LS activity...I still think it's cool for someone to know me that well... But I do have to work on being more consistent with my private and public "thoughts"...sometimes I fell into the habit of being almost two different people on and off LS, so it's a work in progress for my LS self to reflect my true self...
elaina Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Kamille, that's awesome!!! Kamille's sweetie, Kamille is a very wise and helpful poster. I always enjoy reading her posts! About the guy i'm interested in, I have told him I like to post on forums, but he didn't ask me who I was on them, though he did ask me more questions about another forum I post on. He's not interested in joining though... and that's fine. To each his or her own.
LittleTiger Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Good for you Kamille (and 'hi' Kamille's sweetie ) My SO knows all about my LS life. He often asks me if there's anything interesting to 'report' and we regularly discuss topics that come up. It's actually a great way of finding out his opinion on something and a really easy way to open up a discussion. He can read anything I've written any time he wants to, but he barely has time to sleep let alone sit down and read my often unnecessarily long posts. He already knows how opinionated I can be. I don't mind what he reads though. If I ever felt the need to post anything negative about our relationship it wouldn't be something I hadn't already said to him in person. I have an old identity on here too, which I used when my marriage hit the rocks - he knows about that too and is free to delve if the mood takes him, though he wouldn't learn anything he didn't already know.
january2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 It's actually a great way of finding out his opinion on something and a really easy way to open up a discussion. This is what I found as well. Mentioning a relevant thread on the forum was a very useful tactic to lead into a discussion that was more specific to us and our relationship.
Author Kamille Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Thanks Elaina - that's a very sweet thing to say! It's interesting that for some of you, telling your partners about LS is no big deal. I probably piqued bf's interest by refusing to tell him my ID when he first asked. Now, I must say I'm started to be excited about no longer having to hide the screen from him when he's around. I was also thinking... There is no way I would have told my ex-bf about LS. In that relationship, I really needed LS as a "is it me or is there a problem?" sounding board. My relationship with bf is so much more open and supportive. I can turn to him with my concerns and he's always open to hearing me out.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 While I am open and honest in a relationship, this divorce process has been hard on me and the recovery has been good but kind of rocky. I don't think I want whoever I date or marry next to know those personal thoughts of mine. I will probably keep LS my dirty secret. Of course I might feel guilty having to hide things from future bf/H but oh well. Its not like I am cheating by posting here. I am getting unbiased, anonymous advice about situations I feel like maybe I can't discuss with him or some of my friends. But gratz on you Kamille for exposing yourself in such a way. And BTW, I looooved the nude shots you sent me, and all the kinky online lesbian sex chats we had I keed I keed!
Els Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 No. I see it as a private diary of sorts, except I get anonymous feedback for it, since noone knows my actual identity IRL. I do not post pics or personal details here for that reason. He does know that I come on here, but not my username or posts. Wouldn't be too hard for him to ferret it out if he reaaaalllly wanted to, and I have nothing to hide, but I'll still keep it private as long as I can.
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