girlie908 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I'm not exactly in an LDR but need some insight on how exactly to proceed in my situation. A little bit of background info: I live in a foreign country for school but am an American citizen. The guy I am talking to is also an American, but shares the same ethnicity as I do. We happened to meet while he was on vacation here and really hit it off. We basically we're together and kept in contact the entire time he was here for 2 weeks. Fast forward his return to the US. He says he'll keep in touch and so far we have skyped, emailed, and talked on the phone since he has been home. He told me when he was with me that it felt like we bad been dating for 2 years and when he went home he showed my picture to his family and close friends. Now on to my end of the situation. I like him, and think we really get along. I'm going back to the states in a month for 3 months, but then return to school for another 2 years after that. Should I even expect this fling to pan out to anything? I mean he seems interested now and that he likes me but should I just try to be realistic about the situation? He's relatively young and just starting working in a private law firm and I'm a medical student.
january2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 In my opinion, it's always useful to understand that things might not work out because circumstances and life gets in the way. However, you two don't appear to be at the stage (yet) where you're having to make huge sacrifices to maintain the relationship. Therefore, it's too early to have expectations of what might or might not be without talking to him first. Go with your gut feelings. Ask him how he feels about continuing the relationship so that you reach a mutual agreement about whether or not you both want to explore the potential or if it's best just to accept that it was great while it lasted but realistically neither of you can see yourselves being able to make this work.
Author girlie908 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Hey thanks for the advice! So do you think I should just see where it goes or do you think I should intentionally have a conversation with the guy about where this is possibly heading? Because I mean it's really nice what's going on right now but I can for see complications later on if certain issues are clarified such as if we are allowed to date others, etc..
january2011 Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 I prefer to bring things up right at the beginning to clarify a way forward because otherwise the foundation is made up of assumptions that could lead to misunderstandings. You may prefer this tactic if you and/or the other person are the type of people who like things to be clear and out in the open. It's also a good tactic if you're likely to spend too much time worrying about the potential complications so much that they impinge upon your fledgling relationship. You know yourself and him best, so I'd go with your gut in terms of how to do this. Whether it's 'wait and see' or the approach I've described above. Good luck!
TokyoG33kyGal Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 I prefer to bring things up right at the beginning to clarify a way forward because otherwise the foundation is made up of assumptions that could lead to misunderstandings. i agree with her advice. LDR is not like the regular relationship setup. you cannot see each other at a regular basis so it's hard to just go with the flow. if he's not ready yet for a serious commitment then at least you have tried, right? then you can maybe still continue talking and keep your options open without being so heartbroken.
creighton0123 Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 Be careful not to force something just for the sake of taking a stab at romance. In my mind, I'm long over summer/vacation romances, but having a few fond summer loves to think back on really make me smile. "Remember that time I met that hot guy abroad and we had the most amazing two weeks together?" is an awesome story among girlfriends :-D
Recommended Posts