Tofu Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Ive read alot of these journals on the forum and thought i should give it a go as well since it seems to help them get their feelings out v well instead of just bottling them up inside. Even if no one listens, letting go of these stresses in text rather than thinking over them will always be for the best. So this will be Day6 since the 1st time I broke NC with my ex and biting onto her breadcrumb then giving off the message i wanted NC between us. I still feel like there were words left unsaid that day, we agreed to talk it over on the phone the next day since it got v late but neither of us reached out. She felt uncomfortable with the fact that NC would mean losing me but i nvr mentioned that it doesnt mean we would nvr talk again. I found out the next day shes going out with another guy, felt unstable and immiediatly deleted her from facebook to save further pain. I just wonder how she thinks bout all this, does she think i hate her and want nothing more to do with her or she realizes i need space and time to recover? I hope the later... as much as i want to know how she thinks by contacting her i must stick to NC no matter what. Todays been alright for me, booked an appointment for thurs to see the student advisor bout my struggle with studies and off to see the free uni counsellor next wed to talk bout my problems. Things are slowly moving forward i feel.
turn_the_page Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Hold on in there. Regardless of what she thinks it isnt going to make much of a difference, as long as you explained when you started NC that you were doing it so that you can move on then its up2 her what she makes of that... If she walks away completely then she isnt worth it. I also today met with a councilor at uni I'm sure it will help out.
Author Tofu Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) I only mentioned we couldnt be friends and that it would only hurt us more if we kept the friendship, she mentioned that if it was better that she didnt contact me then she would try to do that if that was wat i want. I didnt give her an answer but it was obvious it was wat i wanted since i hadnt talked to her for a week until i broke NC. Still, theres nothing that can be done like you said and in my current stable mood i just want to push forward for myself and minimize my thoughts about her. How did the counselling go for you page? Edited February 22, 2011 by Tofu
Author Tofu Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 Things seem to be moving forward for me again without that cheater of an ex in my life, i realize now that my happiness is not solely dependent on you. I still have thoughts about how youre coping life without me and with your new interesting bf... turns out he likes guys as well? Heh wonder whats gonna happen when he gets bored of you, I nvr got bored of you only wanted to make you happy in anyway i could and in turn it also made me happy knowing you were but then you shunned me so suddenly this year and things took a turn for the worst when you actually took a liking to this jackass? Funny shizzle. I laugh in my head thinking bout it now, my mind is recovering from the torture you gave me and i so really really reheheally wish karma bites you back 10 fold. Todays been v good, visited my mates and he helped me study alot for my course felt a massive boost in confidence with my studies again without you pulling me back to talk to you every 10mins on the phone you needy girl - -" Had a great catch up with him after not seeing each other for over 2months since i was in hell trying to work things out with you 'C', good laughs and even he commented how awful and selfish you were to have the guts to ask for being friends when you had already betrayed me for who knows how long. Dayum i feel good today... i just shudder at the thought of you trying to contact me again, pfff wonder how future me is going to handle that
Author Tofu Posted February 25, 2011 Author Posted February 25, 2011 Met the student support officer to talk about my struggle with studies today, gave me some options to move forward and overall was nice to see she understood my situation bout breaking up and family issues that affected my progress in uni. Also got a surprise result for my biggest module achieving 65% which i was more than satisfied with, thought i failed! Was so happy to see i did alright even with my ex taking every day of my life just to talk to her and nvr did put it more into studying, but nethertheless things seem to be getting brighter for me once again and im loving it Still have the odd thoughts about you 'C', im sure now that youre together with this jackass you will have forgotten about me cos during this early puppy love period between you 2 itll drown out all the negative things for you, i on the other hand had to deal with it without resorting to a rebound relationship and that feels alot more satisfying. Seeing the counsellor next wednesday, tho i dont think i really need to anymore tbh since i feel in control again. Im a rubber ball, you can strike me down but ill always bounce back stronger.
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