chris1987 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) We here’s my story. I have been with my gf for almost 6 years. We met in high school. We started as friends and we grew in to a relationship. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Jest before we got out of school we moved in with each other . First we lived with her mother which didn’t work out. So we got are own place. I paid for all the bills even hers some times (school loans, phone, c card ect.) which was a point of tension for me but I did it anyway at great sacrifice to myself. She works too but she is in collage. I have my own business. Lately its been tough she has been lying to me. For example she flipped out when I asked her if she was smoking and said she wasn’t smoking. A couple weeks later I went to see her at work to get a coffee and I found her out back smoking. I don’t like the smoking thing but the lying was much worse for me. I really couldn’t let it totally go. I mean there were other things too but in my mind you need to be able to trust the person your with implicitly . That wasn’t the first lie that I caught her in. Needless to said I have been a little nasty, uncaring and disconnected after all this. When I came home on valentine’s day and her stuff was gone and she was too. I got a texted saying quote “I am out of your way now”. Most likey because of fights in the past then I ask her to leave if she wanted to be nasty but I never really mean it and I hadn’t said anything like that in a while. She came over that night we talk for a few. We cried for a few more. She said she would move back in. I said sorry for everything I did. The next day I get a text saying she needs her space and she I not coming back right now. Now the question is what does all this mean. Now here are a few facts. One when She left she could have taken a scorched earth approach but she left me with this computer she gave me, her fax machine, her towels ,mini oven and a few other things. When she came over that night. She commented that she wasn’t a bad gf so she left me some stuff. She told me that she wants to work things out but she needs her space. She told me she was still my gf although told her friend that we broke up but want to work things out? She wears a claddagh ring that still points to her heart. Hasn’t got on facebook and change her stasis to single. My truck is still over her grandmother’s house when I went there to get it and drop my other car off she came to me and gave me a hug. All mix messages to me. I mean does she love me or hate me. I know her life right now is busy with school work and a full time job as well as getting everyone’s she works widths kids dump off on her to watch when she not at school or work. I when out with her on a mini date a few days ago but I was odd for me she seem to interest in the new bed I had to buy and other details of things I had to change when I left. It looked like she had not slept well in days. But she said she was looking forward to her 2 nights she would finally be alone so she can unpack she stuff and be alone. I ask her if everything was ok and if anything was on her mind she wanted to talk about. She replied stop asking that I am sick of being asked that everyone is asking that ok. I know she hasn’t talked to any one about it not just me. I know at school she is in trouble and if she doesn’t get good grades this semester she will be expelled. Idk every time I see her she says almost nothing. I mean what would we talk about any way that doesn’t involve are past life in some way? She only sends me bread crumbs for messages. When I try to get a hug she give me one but I feel like I am being pushed away. Still takes my calls and is nice most of the time. All I know is from the day this started I have been I the worst pain of my live. But now I am on the fence. Is it over? Should I move on? Should I give her time to see what’s going to happen even though it hurts like this? Should I go get my truck and go in to NC? I still love her! Idk any more. My friends have been great getting me out of the house. One taking me to bars which I have never gone to in the past. Not a bar kind of guy. The other is jest doing general things with me. I am so happy to have them they have been great with me. I have had other girls I know have been trying to get me telling me I am free now. I have push them away. Not ready for that yet even if it is over. Still holding on to hope that thing could work out. I don’t know if I am being unrealistic. Still when I think about her the thought is almost too much to bear. I still love her. Please forgive me if I sound emotional. She been my only real gf. The only one I had sex with. Sure you have gfs in high school but to me there not real or the same. I feel rejected and have never felt this way be for. Please don’t be scared to speak your mind to be. I rather hear the worst truth then the best lie. Thanks for your time Sincerely Chris Edited February 22, 2011 by chris1987
Author chris1987 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Man the pain is bad today. I have no idea what to do.
Faruiza Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 When you've been with someone and close to them for a long time, it is natural that you don't split totally. Hugging and staying a bit in contact - people don't talk about it, but that's how some break ups go. It;s like taking the plaster off slowly versus ripping it off. It doesn't necessarily mean you're meant to stay together or she wants to get back. I think you're both young and maybe need to grow separately for a bit. It sounds like she's having a tough time at school. Take some space and time out. Get perspective, properly. Give it a lot of time. Talk to her about this idea. Then if you feel the same about her in a rational, deep way after, meet up and take it from there. Right now, you can only see her in the picture. But there's a bigger world out there with wide vistas and inspiring people to meet. Good luck.
Author chris1987 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 I to thinks she done with me. I still love her ever much. I would like to work it out but the pain I am in right now is killing me. If she wants it to be over then I wish she would tell me that you know. even though its not what I would like to here. just don't know how to fix this if it even can be fixed.
Tayla Posted February 23, 2011 Posted February 23, 2011 You can only fix yourself and the relations can then improve. She also needs to re-evaluate what works and doesnt work in the relations. Basically take stock of some of your together "strengths" and where you both need to "let" go of each others responsibilities. Nothing wrong in aiding a person but when you do for them what they can do for themselves, it enables them to keep staying stuck. Learn to communicate both verbally and thru actions. ANd do so with genuine concern. SOme folks hear but few listen. My hope is that this matter is resolved in a kind way. Whatever that may be for you both, Even young love is still love....
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