Woggle Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 When you think about it there really is no reason to be a cheater. Whatever kind of arrangement a person wants they can find somebody out there that wants the same and the internet has made it even easier. If a persons wants monogamy they can find somebody wants the same and ditto for polyamory or FWB or just a plain old one night stand. You can have whatever kind of thing you want and still be honest about it so why still cheat? I honestly think that some people get off on the lying, dishonesty and sneaking around. They find it exciting. If a person gets kicks off of treating a person like that then in my book they are a sociopath.
skydiveaddict Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I think that "narcissist" would be a better description
tami-chan Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Some are. Being a "sociopath" requires more than just one maladaptive trait-it requires a cluster of traits that is why it is a syndrome. Also, if you are a sociopath, you are a sociopath in all aspects of your life-marriage, business, school, etc.etc. Most people who cheat, I dare say, are not sociopaths-most do not feel good about hurting other people,but all are wrong for taking that route.
bentnotbroken Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I think sociopaths aren't as common as we like to think. But they have some issues that allow them to be able to do what they do to others, especially the serial cheaters.
carhill Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 A serial cheater who maintains a group of partners as well as a spouse and family *might* approach the perimeter of sociopathic behaviors, but still IMO that's a call for a licensed professional to make. DSM says this about ASPD, of which sociopathy appears as a subset: .a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood Wikipedia adds: Characteristics of people with antisocial personality disorder may include:[3] Apparent lack of remorse[4] or empathy for othersPersistent lying or stealingCruelty to animals[5]Poor behavioral controls — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temperA history of childhood conduct disorderRecurring difficulties with the lawPromiscuityTendency to violate the boundaries and rights of othersAggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fightsInability to tolerate boredomPoor or abusive relationshipsIrresponsible work behaviorDisregard for safety I certainly wasn't a model citizen when I was having an EA, but doubt the behaviors ran to sociopathic. Since I was caring for a paraphrenic at the time, no doubt some behaviors appeared a bit 'crazy'. One of those parts of life one learns from and moves on.
Distant78 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 When you think about it there really is no reason to be a cheater. Whatever kind of arrangement a person wants they can find somebody out there that wants the same and the internet has made it even easier. If a persons wants monogamy they can find somebody wants the same and ditto for polyamory or FWB or just a plain old one night stand. You can have whatever kind of thing you want and still be honest about it so why still cheat? I honestly think that some people get off on the lying, dishonesty and sneaking around. They find it exciting. If a person gets kicks off of treating a person like that then in my book they are a sociopath. Not most cheaters, ALL cheaters are sociopaths.
alphamale Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 You can have whatever kind of thing you want ... um, no, you actually can't
Author Woggle Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 um, no, you actually can't Yes you can unless you talking about illegal things. Whatever you want there is somebody out there into it.
Distant78 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Yes you can unless you talking about illegal things. Whatever you want there is somebody out there into it. Agreed. Legally and illegally.
alphamale Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Whatever you want there is somebody out there into it. good luck finding them
Author Woggle Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 good luck finding them Just do an internet search.
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I think that "narcissist" would be a better description I agree. A sociopath has no remorse, no emotion except for sick and twisted ones. Maybe there's a handful, but I doubt every serial cheater is a sociopath.
Author Woggle Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 It might not describe all but anybody who has had to deal with a remorseless cheater knows that sociopath is perfect term.
carhill Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I'm thinking that a serial cheater who compartmentalizes emotions to the extent necessary to lie and deceive and manipulate many people, not only the BS and OW/OM's, would make for an interesting psychological study. I certainly wouldn't want to live their life. From my brief taste of the dynamic, the darkness there is palpable. No thanks.
alphamale Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Just do an internet search. thats great if you're looking for hookers
StoneCold Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 You're making a sweeping generalization about someone you don't know based on one aspect of their life..... By your logic, I could just as easily label you the same way...or anybody else for that matter after taking a close look at any one part of your life.
Distant78 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Maybe there's a handful, but I doubt every serial cheater is a sociopath. Someone who cheats multiple times obviously has no remorse. That's a sociopath. But then again all cheaters display some very mentally disturbing behaviors.
Distant78 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 You're making a sweeping generalization about someone you don't know based on one aspect of their life..... So are you. By your logic, I could just as easily label you the same way...or anybody else for that matter after taking a close look at any one part of your life. So could I. But then again all humans judge each other every single day, whether they admit it or not. We're all hypocrites to some degree.
dreamingoftigers Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 A serial cheater who maintains a group of partners as well as a spouse and family *might* approach the perimeter of sociopathic behaviors, but still IMO that's a call for a licensed professional to make. DSM says this about ASPD, of which sociopathy appears as a subset: Wikipedia adds: I certainly wasn't a model citizen when I was having an EA, but doubt the behaviors ran to sociopathic. Since I was caring for a paraphrenic at the time, no doubt some behaviors appeared a bit 'crazy'. One of those parts of life one learns from and moves on. Well if kicking the dog counts then my H has all of these!
threebyfate Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Histrionic, antisocial, narcissistic and borderline are all Cluster B personality disorders which are the dramatic and erratic ones. There is a link between all of them where someone with ASPD is sometimes called a sociopath. So, if you're wondering about whether cheaters are sociopaths, some are similar to sociopaths and some aren't. No matter which way you look at it, they're not emotionally healthy individuals while they're cheating. Some heal, others continue being dysfunctional. Some can't be healed.
carhill Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Well if kicking the dog counts then my H has all of these! Yes, kicking the dog is 'cruelty to animals'. D@mn him for that. Defenseless pet.
notagame Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 My wife is a sociopath. She fits right into that sick category. Cheated on me for a long time and put my life at risk.
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Well if kicking the dog counts then my H has all of these! That's just sickening and made my stomach churn! Shame on him!
trinity1 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I think that "narcissist" would be a better description In my husband's case, yes. He does have narcissistic traits being that his father is a full-blown narcissist. My husband also has addictive issues, which I believe is the main reason for his cheating. I see the same signs when he goes off on a cheating spree as when he indulges in any of his other addictions.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Hmm, well I wouldn't consider them sociopaths. But I would consider them to have some sort of mental illness.
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