rbitrage Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Does anyone have any experience with this? Does it work at all or just further alienate the other person? Also if the dumper's parents contact me, how do i respond? Ignore, polite etc? I like them a lot so it would make things a bit awkward if they do call.
marqueemoon4 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Like have a mutual friend talk to him/her for you? If they dumped you, probably a bad idea. I would say always be polite to his/her parents if at all possible.
britchick Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 True meaning gets lost when passed through another party, no matter how well meaning they are. Remember that game, Chinese Whispers? Always be civil to family, it's not their fault!
Author rbitrage Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Well my only thought is that a mutual friend could express some basic things during a NC period. ie. as is i can't show her I've changed or working on myself because i can't talk to her. A friend can say, well so and so is really behaving differently these days as a casual comment. it's more about planting a seed
britchick Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Is that really the point of NC???? It just sounds manipulative!
carhill Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 If the mutual friend has a fondness for the underside of a bus, proceed. Friend should understand that they may sacrifice one or both of the friendships in the process. If parents call, be polite and firm. Wish them the best. Share no details of the relationship or breakup. It isn't any of their business. 'Thanks for your concern. If you want any more information, talk to your child'
Username37 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Does anyone have any experience with this? Does it work at all or just further alienate the other person? Also if the dumper's parents contact me, how do i respond? Ignore, polite etc? I like them a lot so it would make things a bit awkward if they do call. Well.... Are you trying to win the person back? Because with me, I had mutual friends help me "win" her back and that failed because she didn't want to be reminded of me. If you're seeking to be friends, eh...could work. It would be good so that way, it won't be awkward when around a group or mutual friends. If the dumper's parents talk to you, you can't be mean to them. Remain civil, but whatever you do, don't mention the ex. You don't want to know how they are ya know?
Author rbitrage Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Goal is win her back so i guess mutual friend planting a seed won't help
Username37 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Goal is win her back so i guess mutual friend planting a seed won't help Don't try to. It will make you look bad, trust me Plus, your ex doesn't want to be reminded of the break up and her decision ya know?
Trimmer Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Goal is win her back so i guess mutual friend planting a seed won't help Also, for the purpose of "winning her back" (when she dumped you), NC is just about as effective as running your car into a brick wall. And you will probably end up feeling about the same. If you get to the point where you realize that you need to heal and move on with your life without her, then come on back and we'll support you through "real" NC.
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