Call Me Al Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 How best to deal with this one? I can handle the sadness because its to be expected...and even though she didnt do anything cruel to warrant a sense of anger, it still exists. Man does it exist. I dont like feeling this way, either. Im normally pretty collected when it comes to emotions but in this specific instance its like I almost want her to have done something just to warrant this level of anger I have. When I feel sad, I hope everything works out for her. When Im angry, I hope she is absolutely miserable and stays that way.
GreenPolicy Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 How best to deal with this one? I can handle the sadness because its to be expected...and even though she didnt do anything cruel to warrant a sense of anger, it still exists. Man does it exist. I dont like feeling this way, either. Im normally pretty collected when it comes to emotions but in this specific instance its like I almost want her to have done something just to warrant this level of anger I have. When I feel sad, I hope everything works out for her. When Im angry, I hope she is absolutely miserable and stays that way. Normal part of the emotional upheaval after a b/u. Anger is a stage you reach at some point. You just don't want to get stuck there. Don't fight the feelings of anger, let it flow through you. Eventually though, you will have to forgive her.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I have read that a breakup is synonymous with a loss, hence experiencing the 5 stages of grief is quite normal. The 5 stages- Grief Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance The best way to deal with your emotions is to accept them and act on them in a positive way.
timchambo Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) well **** do I have a long way to go then. I am hoping I am through most of it and the anger part is just something that will remain when thoughts of her come up. Its only been 2 months after a 7+ year RL. She cheated (emoitionally), then left for him. She will never admit it, but I have the proof. I have hit all those emotions at various points. Never been stuck in 1 for any length of time though. Heres to hoping only good times ahead for the both of us man. Edited February 22, 2011 by timchambo crappy spelling
D78 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 A wise LSer once told me that the stages don't always go in that order. You can go into one stage, and then back to the previous stage, etc. My stages were not in order. I never bargained. I had a bit of denial in the back of my mind. At the same time, I had unbearable sadness, then anger, then dull almost numb depression, then acceptance. I found the anger stage to be fun. I don't know if I've ever been as creative or productive in my life. But, I'm a woman (taught to suppress anger), so it might be different for men (encouraged to embrace anger). (Sorry for the gross sexist generalizations )
valdeetz1 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I'm in a similar situation and in the same boat. LTR of almost 7 years, left for OW who was being emotionally cheated with. BU happened 9 weeks ago- NC for 7.5 weeks. Entering the angry stage. It...sucks. I'm mad at everyone- her, him, and mostly myself. Because of the way I handled it. Oh yes- I know that when its all said in done I can say: I didnt confront her, didnt call her any names and didnt talk down about her to him, I didn't chew him out and call him everything under the sun. I took it with a tearful smile and told him I still loved him and went NC- and I feel like an idiot. I am at a point where I wish I had shown out and just...done all the immature things that I now want to do. However...what will come will come. He wants to stick with her, being so 'in love' while she sucks his wallet dry its on him. Best place to hit him imo. Sorry to jack your thread with my rant. I find that I fluctuate between anger and depression- and I deal by staying busy- Taekwando, movies/dinners with friends. Anger is a thing we all go through I guess, but I dont think its healthy.
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