Mixed28 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I would say I am 95% healed from the breakup and am doing very well. I got dumped 3 months ago from a 2 month relationship (was my first real gf and I loved her) 2 months after the break up she is with a new guy. I have kept no contact sense the day of the breakup . Although we do say hi in the hallways or simply smile at one another. But sometimes I wonder what will happen between us in the next 3 years in college? (we are freshmen). I don't plan on making contact whether it be a year or two from now I am sticking to no contact period so that is why part of me wonders. What will happen is she breaks up with her new guy? No I will not try to move in on her. Also we have good mutual friends but I don't talk about her. Also I am interested in othere girls like to try new things. I just wonder how things will play out do you know what I mean? (I was too physically clingy in the relationship for those wondering why she broke up with me atleast looking back on it thats how I feel)
willpower Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 What will happen is she breaks up with her new guy? First of all big respect for posting, and good to hear you coping well. To the reality of this - she was with you for 2 months, she'll possibly make it to 2 months or past with this new guy. Now when she finishes with the new guy maybe she moves onto another guy and dates him for 2 months. Then she dumps in so she has 3 previous ex's that she dated for 2 months, you make up 1/3 of her dating history. Lets say by some twist of fate she thinks "hey I'll date one of my ex's again". Your a 1 in 3 choice for her. You need to try and see why the headspace your occupying with these thoughts is so destructive to your mental health and focus on something else. Also, and I'm not being unkind by any stretch here (I'm a firm believer that feelings are feelings and they can FEEL just as bad in a short fling as multi year relationship) you need to put it into perspective that you only dated for 2 months. I know it felt and probably feels rubbish at the moment but look at it this way, your next GF that outlasts 2 months will possibly mean more to you. Get happy then get a new girl!
Author Mixed28 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I am working on getting a new girl. Its just weird because I have never been through this before but like I said I want a girl who is crazy about me not one who isn't. Which she obviously is not into me and has moved on. But im like hmmm wonder if she will make contact because I was her second BF her first she dated for a year and they talked everynow and then (not when we were dating though). But it is best that I forget because why pine over someone who is not into you? which i am not but I do wonder what will happen in the future? Not wondering if we will get back together or not but I don't know how to explain it. Heres somelines from swingers that I love Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
willpower Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I am working on getting a new girl. Its just weird because I have never been through this before but like I said I want a girl who is crazy about me not one who isn't. Which she obviously is not into me and has moved on. But im like hmmm wonder if she will make contact because I was her second BF her first she dated for a year and they talked everynow and then (not when we were dating though). But it is best that I forget because why pine over someone who is not into you? which i am not but I do wonder what will happen in the future? Not wondering if we will get back together or not but I don't know how to explain it. Heres somelines from swingers that I love Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget. I think you already have all the tools you need;) You'll find one who falls madly for you soon enough, and when you do enjoy it!
Author Mixed28 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I think you already have all the tools you need;) You'll find one who falls madly for you soon enough, and when you do enjoy it! That would be nice.
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