depplover_1980 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Well my Loveshack friends, something has happened to me that has totally surprised me and brought about another self discovery. I split with my handsome commitment phobe hunk 5/6 weeks ago now (well I was dumped); well I have obviously been finding my feet, doing NC and helping others on here where I can and will continue to do. I'll continue to utilise the experience of my 3 break ups to try and lift poor dumpees!! xx A couple of weeks ago I rejoined the dating site to see what was out there and last weekend got chatting to a guy in the next city (like 25 miles away). We had loads in common and quickly swapped to text messages last Mon -this turned to like 50 each way a day!! Throughout the week we discovered more and more things in common, then spoke on the phone on the Tuesday for an hour like old friends. Throughout the week things got steamy between us on the text and we spoke on the phone again, with the level of comfort being through the roof. Anyway we finally met on a date last night and wow. Everything we anticipated was there in the flesh; now I am believer in past lives and I swear I've know him before (this has happened before with another friend, my first ex and even my mum being past life souls to me) - he is so familiar to me in only a way my gut instinct can do justice. We hung at his, were a bit naughty but put a stop to it, with both of us being respectful and wanting to date properly. I cried on the way home because I suddenly realised that he is the type of man I've been looking for deep down; he is kind to the core and an open book. There will be no games, no neglect in this relationship and talking to him is the easiest thing in the world. I just know. So there you have it, when you least expect it. WHAM. Something steps out of the shadows and blows you off your feet and that ex you've been pining for out of the water. I'm gobsmacked and I'm a bloody sceptic.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I am really happy for you. Despite my cynicism, I also believe in "knowing" a person based upon some kind of spiritual, or soul recognition. I had that with my boyfriend too. Take good care!
2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I'm also trying to do this. I have met another girl on a dating site, we are only talking just now on chat but although there seems to be a connection and we both seem up to keep chatting I keep getting the feeling of the x niggling in the back of my mind. The way I see it is she has more than definitely moved on and is dating someone else so why shouldn't I? I think once we meet and hopefully bond then the lingering doubts of my ex will flash out of my mind. The old saying is never truer "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" lol! 2011
Author depplover_1980 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I'm also trying to do this. I have met another girl on a dating site, we are only talking just now on chat but although there seems to be a connection and we both seem up to keep chatting I keep getting the feeling of the x niggling in the back of my mind. The way I see it is she has more than definitely moved on and is dating someone else so why shouldn't I? I think once we meet and hopefully bond then the lingering doubts of my ex will flash out of my mind. The old saying is never truer "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" lol! 2011 Well this is it 2011, you can only heal alone so much before you have to get back out there. If you have a connection in the flesh too, then rejoice and feel reassured there is more than 1 person for you. Just take it slowly and don't rush into it. I'll only be seeing this guy 1-2 per week for a good while.
Author depplover_1980 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I am really happy for you. Despite my cynicism, I also believe in "knowing" a person based upon some kind of spiritual, or soul recognition. I had that with my boyfriend too. Take good care! Mme Chaucer, the universe it too gargantuan to write off these possibilities. We without doubt have a 6th sense, just some of us are more intune with it than others. I've kicked myself when i've ignored it and made the wrong decisions, like Mr Handsome in the first place!!
D78 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 depplover, That's great to hear! Congrats! And, I'm glad you'll still help dumpees, because you're very good at it. Good luck
makelemonade1974 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I was WONDERING where you had been! You go girl - that is so fabulous. Just be careful with that sweet little heart of yours. And tell him I will cyber-bitchslap him if he hurts you. Enjoy!! It's taken me a while, but I believe in love still, and those first few weeks of romance are just utter bliss. I remember (sigh). And it just goes to show the rest of us, that you WILL get over your pain and you will meet someone who blows the previous ex right on out of the water. XOXOXO
Author depplover_1980 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 Thank you very much. I will be careful, though I never seem to lose faith in love - as different forms of it is the glue that holds us together.
Rose T Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Thank you very much. I will be careful, though I never seem to lose faith in love - as different forms of it is the glue that holds us together. Depplover I'm really excited for you!! It's been 11 weeks since my break-up and I'm starting to believe in life after my ex - think I'm ready for a bit of fun too! Posts like this are extra valuable to dumpees because it's important to remember the future can bring happiness! So glad you're enjoying yourself and being such a wise woman I know you'll handle it well!
Layzie89 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Thanks for this depp. Just what myself and I'm sure a few others needed, a reminder that there is life after love. Happy for you and I wish you the best! Don't go MIA from these boards now that things are springing for you! You've helped me and you've helped a ton of other dumpees It would be saddening to not see you posting anymore
Author depplover_1980 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 It is wierd the way it strikes you again, when you're not really looking much and all. I was only on the dating site for sport really, to pass time and flirt. Then I thought he's nice, oh we've got loads in common, oooh his emails are fun and the rest is in my OP!!! Luv ya Rose, go out and get it. Our ex's are fools for releasing us!!
Tofu Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Wows congrats Depplover im so happy for you! Reading something like this is something all us dumpees really need to see that its not all doom and gloom, there are still other people out there and there will always be someone that will give you the true love and attention you need that our ex's never really did. Im glad you found this certain someone and things look very bright for you from now on, good luck with your new found love Depp! ^^
Gossamer Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 A(Wo)men! This is wonderful and just goes to show that nature abhors a void. In this case, you have too much to offer and too much love and spark for the universe to not pull you back into the fold of its arms. It sounds like Rose is on her way, too. ;-) Yes, our exes are fools. But we're smarter now for not buying into their self-centrism. It is wierd the way it strikes you again, when you're not really looking much and all. I was only on the dating site for sport really, to pass time and flirt. Then I thought he's nice, oh we've got loads in common, oooh his emails are fun and the rest is in my OP!!! Luv ya Rose, go out and get it. Our ex's are fools for releasing us!!
willowthewisp Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 I'm really pleased to hear that has happened for you and that it does happen for some people as I was beginning to think it never does, I've been single two years out of a nearly 20 year relationship with a commitment phobic who jilted me and I haven't met anyone, I've tried, dating sites, bars, clubs, new hobbies, sports clubs etc, now I've stopped looking, there seems there is no one for me :-(
wmrjw82 Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Congrats dep! But dont you be going nowhere! Your advice has been especially helpful to me in keeping no contact! You gotta love those times in life. When you meet someone new and you know that there is something there. You know that this new person is going to be in your life for awhile and you just can't keep yourself away from that person. My problem is that's the only real time in life when i'm happy. Is when i'm in a relationship. And i'm only happy when my SO is happy. I have to learn to find happiness within myself and not "crawl into that person" so to speak. In the end if you can't love yourself how can you expect others to? And you can't really depend on anyone in this world besides yourself and family. People can and will change whether you like it or not. Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. You've given me some great advice now please let me return the favor. Take it slow (as others have said). I plan on doing this in my next relationship not only for myself but for my son who will actually be old enough to know the next girl that comes into my life. I dont want him to be hurt and I dont want to set myself up to be hurt. Do it right... take it slow...keep your guard up and if things dont work out... well there's always more fish out in the sea. Good luck!
imyuinny Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Hi Depp! I'm happy you found someone! the universe is endless and without knowing it, the universe tends to work out for each and every one of us. Have fun and it's good to read posts like these that reminds us of that 'moment' again!
Author depplover_1980 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Willowinthewisp - well the man in the equation has not found anyone he felt strongly about for 4 years. He has dated here and there but no one has made him feel like I do for a long time, so have the patience. As for me this guy reminds me of the guy I had a 7 year relationship, in the sense they are both extremely kind, which is a rare trait. For everyone that is concerned, know that I will take it slow in some forms. For instance I will be keeping my routine, hobbies and friends - not cancelling stuff to hang out...which brings me onto that one. Remember he lives 25 miles away so due to commitments we will hang once at the weekend and once in the week. Also as I said in the OP I will not be leaving here at all, if anything this experience validates my advice about strength, esteem and life after being dumped. Really like a lot of you people on here and helping you helps keep me happy.
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