amazingmandy Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 So a little background first, me and my boyfriend have been together a little over 9 months... which isn't bad for me. I love this boy a lot. He has truly helped me become a better person and he means the world to me. Recently he seems to have been growing a little distant. He is always getting on my case and it seems like we are always fighting about something ridiculous. Our main problem is this other girl... she is apparently his best friend but she had kissed him when we first started dating and I still have problems with her. More likely I have problems with them hanging out. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Also it seems as if he has changed, he doesn't seem like the same guy I fell for. I really want to be with him. But when all it seems like we have is more of just a physical relationship... I really wonder if it's even worth it. Help please?
somethingsimple Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Communication, communication, and communication. Talk to him, and see what happens. Also, I won't necessarily say your wrong for feeling a certain way, but you need to trust him. And did I mention, communication can help with that also?
carhill Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Welcome to LS Nine months is a long time to be dating. Sounds pretty serious. How long has he known this female best friend? How much time have you and she spent together, whether in or out of his company? Is she in a relationship? Is she straight or lesbian? Have you asked and received answers as to his perspective regarding the perceived 'distance' in your relationship?
PeachyPink Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 You keep referring to him as a boy, so I will assume you two are quite young. As such, he may think the relationship has played itself out. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he doesn't want the relationship anymore, but he also doesn't want to be without a GF either. Another question to ask. I agree with the others that communication in a relationship is key, but if he's young, you may not get all the answers you are seeking. Boys at this age simply don't have those answers.
paleblue Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 dont kid yourself, its not right this other woman is hanging around. i think its bad news when another woman is around like that, especially one who has kissed your bf. and ya, id have a real big problem with them hanging out knowing that too. the only exception i would consider is if you were all friends, you all hang out, he tells you when she calls, and she herself makes you feel comfortable about the situation. if she does not, thats a problem. i guess if youre feeling like that, maybe its time to consider having a talk. what you just said below is really goood, maybe you should tell him what you told us. it sucks drawing lines in the sand, but i am thinking maybe you should address it all now and take a stand. if he likes you and respects you he will be understanding and things will change. if you do not, theres a good chance thats its just going to get worse. if you wind up in an arguement and nothing changes, theres your answer also. it alarms me to hear you say you feel like its more or less just physical now between you two, he's distant, and not the same guy you fell for. these are definately telling signals somthing is off. its not going to correct itself. keep us posted
Author amazingmandy Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I agree with everything that everyone is saying, and I try to talk to him about these things all the time... but he can never talk to my face. Which really annoys me. Everything is over text. Whenever I try to call when we are fighting he doesn't answer. We are fairly young, he sometimes seems like he doesn't want to have a girlfriend, but other times it is just ridiculous as to how dependent he is on me. With the other girl... he has known her for less time than he has known me. She has apologized to me multiple times. But the one time I did forgive her, she went and only caused more drama. I can't forgive her again. Not to mention she just got out of a relationship... if she is ever going to try something again, it's now. Thanks everyone for the help so far.
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