turokturok5 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 (edited) been posting about it quite a bit, i decied to go into NC (no contact) with her, but recently things have changed. Like i said ive been posting about it quite a bit, so if you havent heard it! My girlfriend of 2 months, and me being her first boyfriend broke up with me primarily because i was too clingy. I went over her house to sort things out, she told me she didnt feel the same anymore, and she couldnt go back to the way things were but i was the nicest and sweetest guy she had ever met and that was why she fell for me, i would find somone better than her, she would introduce me to girls at uni and she still really wanted to be friends and asked me to stay at her house and we talked for a few hours, she also cried when she did the deed. I heard from someone she was lost and didnt know if she had done the right thing, so i went to her house and let her know how i feel and that i knew where i went wrong and we could fix it but she said she couldnt go back. I tried talking to her a few weeks after, just asking how she was, and she pretty much ignored me so i figured her saying she wanted to be friends was an excuse to let me down easy. I decided to go into NC with her, deleted her from facebook etc. but it was difficult because i still saw her with our group of friends. Last night we went to her house for a gathering, i was speaking to her parents and such and getting a long fine, and it turns out we were going to uni orientation at the same time tomorrow, but she was catching the bus. I already was going with her best friend and she invited her with my permission, but she was confused as to why i didnt invite her myself. It was hard to go NC with her because i was with her the whole day and she was talking to me, i didnt have the heart to ignore her but we eventually ended up going home. When i took her friend home, i was telling her that i wasnt going to speak to my ex anymore, she told me she was hurt about breaking up with me and couldnt stop thinking about me, but it was better off because she wasnt happy with the relationship. I really do think we could've worked it out, its been 3 weeks so far, so i was thinking of asking her out for coffee in a few weeks, once we get settled into uni and just discuss what happened, and ask if theres a way we can fix it, like we could start of slow and just see eachother once a week or fortnight just as friends and go from there. She may say no to going out to coffee with me, if she really has her heart set on the break-up and i already tried to change her mind, but that was 2 days after seperation. I figured im starting to get over her now so i may as well try, ive got nothing to lose, apart from the off chance that NC would've worked, doubt it though because shes really shy. By then she may have found someone else or i may have forgotten about it. I just still really care about her and honestly want to be with her still. Can anyone give any input, should i wait longer, should i say something else? might i add, when i ask her should i say.. 1) straight out i want to talk about what happened between us 2) ask her just to go out and talk as friends, and then bring it up later on only problem with number 2 is she might think i manipulated it just to try get her back..? Edited February 21, 2011 by turokturok5
D78 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I think you should wait until you are both settled in a few weeks, and then make the decision. During those few weeks, I think you should honestly consider whether asking her out for coffee might be the kind of behavior that caused the breakup. While not technically clingy, do you think it might be in the same category? Also, because she broke up with you, I think you should not contact her. When she broke up with you she let you know she didn't want to be with you. Let her contact you if she wants to be friends or try again. Just my 2 cents.
Author turokturok5 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 by clingy i think she meant because i always text her, and when we would be together in a group i would pretty much hang off her, since we only caught up a few times a week. I have considered waiting for her to call me, but i dont think she would, shes too shy, i had no idea she liked me before we were going out i just thought i'd waited long enough and asked her out. I kind of feel i should see what happened from her point of view clearly, otherwise i may regret not trying. I did try before but it was a few days after the breakup and she could've just pinned it on desperation, and i mis-judged the real reason she broke it off but now i think i know why
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