turokturok5 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 been posting about it quite a bit, i decied to go into NC (no contact) with her, but recently things have changed. Like i said ive been posting about it quite a bit, so if you havent heard it! My girlfriend of 2 months, and me being her first boyfriend broke up with me primarily because i was too clingy. I went over her house to sort things out, she told me she didnt feel the same anymore, and she couldnt go back to the way things were but i was the nicest and sweetest guy she had ever met and that was why she fell for me, i would find somone better than her, she would introduce me to girls at uni and she still really wanted to be friends and asked me to stay at her house and we talked for a few hours, she also cried when she did the deed. I heard from someone she was lost and didnt know if she had done the right thing, so i went to her house and let her know how i feel and that i knew where i went wrong and we could fix it but she said she couldnt go back. I tried talking to her a few weeks after, just asking how she was, and she pretty much ignored me so i figured her saying she wanted to be friends was an excuse to let me down easy. I decided to go into NC with her, deleted her from facebook etc. but it was difficult because i still saw her with our group of friends. Last night we went to her house for a gathering, i was speaking to her parents and such and getting a long fine, and it turns out we were going to uni orientation at the same time tomorrow, but she was catching the bus. I already was going with her best friend and she invited her with my permission, but she was confused as to why i didnt invite her myself. It was hard to go NC with her because i was with her the whole day and she was talking to me, i didnt have the heart to ignore her but we eventually ended up going home. When i took her friend home, i was telling her that i wasnt going to speak to my ex anymore, she told me she was hurt about breaking up with me and couldnt stop thinking about me, but it was better off because she wasnt happy with the relationship. I really do think we could've worked it out, its been 3 weeks so far, so i was thinking of asking her out for coffee in a few weeks, once we get settled into uni and just discuss what happened, and ask if theres a way we can fix it, like we could start of slow and just see eachother once a week or fortnight just as friends and go from there. She may say no to going out to coffee with me, if she really has her heart set on the break-up and i already tried to change her mind, but that was 2 days after seperation. I figured im starting to get over her now so i may as well try, ive got nothing to lose, apart from the off chance that NC would've worked, doubt it though because shes really shy. By then she may have found someone else or i may have forgotten about it. I just still really care about her and honestly want to be with her still. Can anyone give any input, should i wait longer, should i say something else?
Author turokturok5 Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 might i add, when i ask her should i say.. 1) straight out i want to talk about what happened between us 2) ask her just to go out and talk as friends, and then bring it up later on only problem with number 2 is she might think i manipulated it just to try get her back..?
2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 (edited) Well the way she is feeling at the moment if you keep pressuring her she will get more confused and push you further away. I think the only thing you can do is give her space, like she wanted, and if she is shy then that is her problem. My own ex is the same she will never ever say anything or stand up for herself or go for what she wants so I guess my own NC is for good, maybe she'll find someone who she is compatible with. I been in NC for a month and there's going to be a lot more of them I know. It is very difficult as you do not know how they feel from day to day but you have to go on what she said last to you and that is she is not sure about the RL etc and you were too clingy. If you start pestering her now that will only validate her decision that you were too clingy and you'll have no chance ever. NC will heal you and let her think things over, you never know how long it will take if ever but you have to say to yourself I shouldn't be waiting about because if you do then you will probably be waiting for ever and a day. One of two things will happen, she will think for a few months and either A) Realise she made a mistake and start contacting you or B) Move on. In that time you cannot hopw that it will be A becuase there's a high chance it won't be so you have to think that it is over and move on. trust me it's hard i'm doing it now still pretending it is going to work out one day and she'll be back but she won't I know it but that is just my situation. 2011 Edited February 21, 2011 by 2011
Author turokturok5 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 yeah its just hard to shake the feeling of hope...had so many good times with her early on and was really happy and she said she was too, kinda pisses me off because she never even mentioned i was too clingy, i thought i was just doing the right thing by showing her affection
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