nothappyjan Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 After about 6 yrs of trying to find a healthy r/ship that lasted more than 6 wks I met my bf and we lasted 11months. During that time i was an angel of a gf and honestly did nothing wrong. My bf has now out of the blue dumped me because he thinks im great and loves me and im the best gf he's ever had but hes not crazy in love with me anymore so cant give me any affection. I didnt even get angry or say anything bad during the breakup but then he says we can still stay best friends and keep the r/ship we have but with no intimacy and then he couldnt understand and thought i was crazy for not going along with that. I said its all or nothing and i need time to heal and he cant hurt me like this but still totally keep me in his life. I just dread the idea of starting to date again, i hate the first stages and its so hard to get dates and then survive the first 3 or 4 then deal with exclusivity and getting to know friends and family. I just loved being in a r/ship and being myself and having someone and now i've once again done nothing wrong but be nice and now i am being punished again. p.s after spending all weekend with him he decided to dump me on Msn once i got home
SmileFace Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Sorry your relationship is over .I am even more sorry he did it via messanger. Like you I hate dating . I hate the whole process of it . I really wish I can fall into a relationship - instead of work up to on . However , I will have to deal since falling into one usually means settling. All the best
Mrlonelyone Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 First of all I am so sorry that after 11 months of relationship that fool dumps you via MSN. That has to be the most cowardly thing I can imagine. After date 3 or 4 on the phone or in person is the only classy way to break up. Second... I notice that you were nice and got broken up with. Let me reassure you of this... there are nice men out there that will have real respect for you. The man who just broke up with you via MSN apparently didn't. Don't let anyone tell you being a biatch would have prevented this.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 If you dread starting over in a new relationship that means you need to be alone for as long as it takes until you are looking forward to starting something with someone new. This is just a lil depression telling you that you dread it. Wait a while, you'll come around when you feel better. And you might want to learn how to see the signs of when someone is starting to lose interest in you so you arent blindsided again.
Author nothappyjan Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 If you dread starting over in a new relationship that means you need to be alone for as long as it takes until you are looking forward to starting something with someone new. This is just a lil depression telling you that you dread it. Wait a while, you'll come around when you feel better. And you might want to learn how to see the signs of when someone is starting to lose interest in you so you arent blindsided again. The signs only showed up this wkend. The previous week he took me to the most expensive and romantic restaurant in the state for valentines day and got me a dozen red roses, teddy and chocolates. The previous 2 months we were away together in europe where he was so attentive kept buying me jewellery, never left my side and looked after me so well. He was soo affectionate when we were away and talked about marriage etc was calling me auntie to his niece. I think the signs only showed up 24hrs prior which didnt give me much time to act ahead of him.
purplehouse Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Sorry to hear of your breakup. DO you mind me asking what the signs were in those last 24hours??
Author nothappyjan Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 Sorry to hear of your breakup. DO you mind me asking what the signs were in those last 24hours?? He just totally switched off from me. I felt like i wasnt welcome, he wasnt speaking and he didnt come near me and seemed cranky and annoyed by me just being there. He went to bed after me and in the morning of the breakup was lying there with his eyes open and wouldnt let me near him to cuddle and then jumped up to shower. He then didnt say a word the rest of the day to me. It was pretty bizarre its like he all of a sudden decided he couldnt stand me anymore. He agrees that suddenly he couldnt bear to show me affection cause he knew he wasnt in love anymore. But i thought most guys dont need to be crazy in love for affection otherwise hookers wouldnt exist
tami-chan Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Sorry you are hurting. Disengage and move on...easier said than done, I know. But there is nothing you can do. You said the right thing. It is all or nothing. Next time do not be a "perfect gf"-perfect anything, imo, is boring. Anyway, whatever you do, never ask him back or give you another chance.
musemaj11 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 He probably feels like spending money on someone else now. Its his prerogative.
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