I need to get go, but I don't know how.

[jbear13]

I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years. We met when we were young--the 7th grade. And back then, I guess we didn't know what love was. but we were dating. But back then, loving each other was like being best friends. But when summer came, we broke up, temporarily. He started dating other girls. And I waited 8 months for him.

 

One night, when hanging out at my house watching one tree hill with a couple of his friends, I kissed him. We were both caught in the moment. But he liked it. From that day on, he'd visit my house three times a week, and bring a big bag of cookies from Subway, because he knew I loved cookies. Three days before my birthday, he asked me back out.

 

During our 8th grade year, we introduced many things to our relationship. He used to come over all the time. Sometimes, I'd even sneak him over when my parents weren't over. My parents adored him, though. He used to come over to our family parties and eat dinner at my house with the family once or twice a week. We thought we'd last forever. We honestly did. One day, when we were home alone on a PA day, I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me, because we honestly thought we'd get married, one day. He even proposed to me with a little plastic ring, because we dont have the money for real stuff. And he gave me a giant panda and told me "Whenever I'm not around, Mr. Panda will be here. He's your protector when I'm not here to protect you."

 

He was there for me through the hardest times in my life, when i found out my grandfather had cancer. When I had my liver problem. When my parents were close to divorce. When I lost all my friends. All the rough moments, he was there for me. And his family would always tell me that I motivated him and changed him into an amazing young man. That summer, my parents caught us having sex .. and that killed all their trust for both of us. My parents couldn't even look at me for three days.

 

When highschool started, things got rough. We rarely saw each other, especially since my parents said I couldnt see him anymore, but when we did have time, we would spend it together. He'd walk me to the church, 4 times a week, for my community hours, and stay there with me, so I wouldn't have to walk home alone. I'd say my first year of high school was the most amazing just because he would go out of his way for me. He'd wait there at my locker, every morning waiting for me to give me a good morning kiss. At lunch, he'd be at my locker, waiting for me, then take me out to fish & chips or KFC.

 

That same year, I moved away. New school. New town. Only 30 minute drive away. Not bad compared to others. But I'd see him once every 3 - 6 months because of my parents. Eventually we broke up. And it was the hardest thing I have ever been put through. I cried for 4 days straight, even at school. I numbed myself from ever sort of thing that reminded me of him. At night, I'd cry. His photos still were in my wallet. Mr Panda sat on my bed. All the notes he wrote me. Every song reminds me of him. And he missed me too.

 

The night before 10th grade 1st sem exam, things were getting so good for us. We stayed on the phone all night, fell asleep on the phone together, and woke up, at 6 Am together, to wish each other good luck on exams. It was cute. The next day, I find out he met a new girl at the mall. I went crazy. I hacked his facebook, and told her all about us. That was fail on my part, I'll admit. He told me he hated me. And that he wanted me to leave his life.

 

Three months later, he's walking back into my life. He's telling me hes not fully over me. He says every songs reminds him of me. Every actions reminds him of me because he used to do it with me. But at the same time, he's moving on because of that new girl he met a couple of months ago. That same night, he cheated on her, and started talking dirty with me that night, telling me he wants to visit me, to have sex again. Its not right, I know that. But I wanted to feel close to him, for a bit. Even though it would hurt me later. I know it sounds stupid. I just need closure.

 

Anyone know what to do? :/

[precious1]

Honey, I barely comment on here but i logged in just to reply to your post because I have been you before.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT sleep with this guy again!!! It'll only make you more attached. I know what you had with him was special but believe me, it is time to leave him alone. You sound fairly young so it may be hard for you to see that in spite of the love you feel for him, there are real relationships to be had in the future.

 

The guy has already moved on to the next one and is just trying to get into your pants one last time (or many more). I remember being your age and being in a similar relationship. I thought he was the love of my life, would get married, all that good stuff. I am now older, about to graduate university and I can guarantee you that this guy is not the love of your life. Even the fact that he cheated on the new girl speaks volumes. At your age, most guys just cant even perceive what it means to be with one person for the long haul.

 

I am sorry for your hurt because I too started dating/ relationships at a very young age and have been left nothing but a damaged, broken mess. This is the time to be making girlfriends and building strong relationships,learning and bonding with them. TRUST ME IT GETS BETTER. He is not worth it. I look back now on the guys I allowed to use me when I was younger and just kick myself. That is why I logged in just for you, because I would hate to see another young girl gets so bruised at a young age.

 

I will be here to talk to you... and we will be friends. But whatever you do, just try to find other things to occupy yourself with. STAY AWAY from this guy. It'll only end in more heart ache.

[jbear13]

thank you for taking the time and reading my post. I'm glad to know I'm not alone and someone can relate to me.

 

Well you see, I was doing so well, getting over him. I met this other guy, too. And while him and I were still at the stage of getting to know each other, he'd do all these cute things for me. But most of all, I appreciate that he is willing to call me up at 2AM, on a school night to listen to me vent about my ex. He keeps telling me "Don't be one of those stupid girls who fall for a man's b.s" And I try. But its so hard to let go of a guy, you know. Especially after it has been almost three years into the relationship.

 

Sometimes, I think my ex isn't over me fully. Because whenever we try to talk things out from our part relationship, he runs away from it and hides behind his new girl. But whenever she's out of town or can't talk, he calls me up late at night and says "Im bored." NOTHING is that important at 2 A to say "Im bored..." =.="

 

Sometimes I miss who him and I used to be. But its so hard to let go of that, you know :/ .. I wish I could get some closure. But whenever I see them together or stuff, I try to numb myself and act like it doesn't bother me, inside. But inside it kills me every single bit. :/ It sucks yknow.