babybear Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I broke up with my bf of 4yrs a few wks ago. I just wasn't getting what I needed - and it was getting very draining to keep asking him to do more. So eventually I got the courage to walk away (so hard!!!) I blocked him from phone/email/etc. He basically said, if that's really what you want, I wish you the best. About a week later, I got some REALLY shocking news and I called him bc I needed to talk. I don't necessarily regret it - but after I hung up I just felt wrong about letting him into such a personal place, and I knew things had changed. So, I told him I shouldn't have called, and let's go back to moving on. Since that day, he has called/texted me EVERY day. He basically disregarded the fact I said it was over, and leaves me voice-mails like it's all good. He calls me babe, says I miss you, when can we skype, etc. I ignored it for a week, and finally I just said, what are you doing?! He basically said he felt like I was fixated on the bad, and forgetting all the good. And then he says, "I'm trying now - and I'll keep trying!" He also tried to spin it and say that he tried, but I can't be satisfied (which couldn't be further from the truth.) So I responded that there WAS good, a lot of good - but a lot of disappointments that I've chosen to let go and leave it in my past. I really understand NC now...contact = fresh wounds. I don't understand if this is just a case of denial...or if he thought I was bluffing or what! Should I lay it out there for him...continue to ignore him...make it even MORE clear??? I'm just not sure why he's still here.
locnlove10 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Sticky situation but you have already opened the door by responding to him. If deep down inside you want to see if he has changed then make him work for it and when I say work for it I mean make him show you that he has changed. All the things that you asked him to do before tell him to do it and see what happens. Don't just let him tell you though cause people can tell you anything to get what they want. That's only if you want to see. We all make mistakes because we are human but it's really up to you. There's a thread going on now as to why women play hard to get and this is a prime example of why some of us do. You have been hurt before and it's hard to trust again. Think about it...do a pro's and con's list and see which one is more than the other. If there are more con's than bad then maybe you should just move on. Just my opinion but it's up to you in the end. Hope this helps.
Author babybear Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 locnlove10 - thanks for your post. to be honest, i felt like a zombie when all of the drama was going on with him. i was just dead inside - and i begged for him to please not ruin us! yes, complete loss of dignity here. but, as good as things were with him at one time, i don't trust him like i used to. the thought of being let down is toooo painful, i'm amazed that i got through it once. i feel like i put the relationship in a box up on a shelf, and i can't even bring it down to look at it. poking at it will open the floodgates, and i just want to leave well enough alone. i guess that pretty much sounds like i am not interested in rekindling anything.
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