Ay Diesel T Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Watch out now, son. I'm fittin' ta get the vapors. OT - "Games" is in the eye of the beholder. What one person perceives as games (and that perception is ALWAYS a choice) could actually be the reality that the person they are interested in has a life that does not revolve around partnering with someone else and glomming (LOL!). I generally like to assume that anyone I am interested in has a life. I certainly do. I think ultimately whatever the outcome of a romantic interest that you pursue, the best attitude to cultivate is not one of self-blame. If that other person doesn't contact you frequently, or all at, then that says a lot more about them than it does about you. Bolded bit right over my head, may be before my time. Please, explain.
fishtaco Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Yeah well, people play games. Sometimes it's intentional, sometimes it's unintentional, sometimes it's for increasing attraction, sometimes it's for self protection purposes, maybe it's a manifestation of being cautiously healthy, maybe it's damage left over from previous bad experiences. Whatever. It is what it is. The trick to playing hard to get is you have to dangle the carrot. If there's no carrot, well then, no **** Sherlock, they'll walk unless they're stalkers. Don't play unless you know what you're doing. As with any game, it could backfire. From a guy's perspective, and of course this could be biased because I was never a woman, the men are doing all the work already. All you have to do is throw out positive response to encourage their behavior. That's it. Yes, you can play the "be more of a challenge" game. Maybe it will increase your chances of getting what you want, or maybe it'll backfire. Personal preference.
Disillusioned Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 That is what I would do if I were single. I have zero tolerance for stupid games. This is not high school anymore. Exactly. Adults should date like adults and if a woman or man in some cases is still stuck on childish games then next them. Seconded, brother.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Just let a dude know what's up before you push him away.
blind_otter Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Just let a dude know what's up before you push him away. This is a nice thing to say, but it ignores the reality that in our culture (The US and UK at least, IME) it's not really acceptable to tell people why you are not interested in them. You dissemble and just kind of hem and haw your way out of it, unless there has been some kind of significant commitment. I mean, does that weird vegan guy I saw 3 times really want to know that I stopped seeing him because we had sex twice and he had absolutely no rhythm or consideration of my orgasm, and also he had weird breath? NO! I'm sure there's a gal out there that might enjoy his sexual approach, and not mind his breath. I am not she, but I have full faith that she may exist. Even in the tri-county area! Who knows? Bolded bit right over my head, may be before my time. Please, explain. I'm an old broad. Rheumatism.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 This is a nice thing to say, but it ignores the reality that in our culture (The US and UK at least, IME) it's not really acceptable to tell people why you are not interested in them. You dissemble and just kind of hem and haw your way out of it, unless there has been some kind of significant commitment. I mean, does that weird vegan guy I saw 3 times really want to know that I stopped seeing him because we had sex twice and he had absolutely no rhythm or consideration of my orgasm, and also he had weird breath? NO! I'm sure there's a gal out there that might enjoy his sexual approach, and not mind his breath. I am not she, but I have full faith that she may exist. Even in the tri-county area! Who knows? I'm an old broad. Rheumatism. That's funny haha. But I am talking before you even have sex or get together. If you meet then it is up to the dude to move on. I mean by the telephone talking and texting and setting up dates.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Haha. One of the girls who played hard to get but then texted me like a week later saying she had strep throat and that is why she hasn't been in contact with me. She says she really wants to get with me. I felt like telling her don't worry about it. But I felt maybe we should get together. When I saw her in class today she kept looking at me and I was hanging with another girl even during breaks. She tryed to walk next to me after class but I acted like she wasn't there and kept walking. Maybe that was harsh but I just don't like her anymore. We never went on a date but once I mentally moved on it's hard to go back to that place. Guess we both miss out. I did my part.
fishtaco Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Haha. One of the girls who played hard to get but then texted me like a week later saying she had strep throat and that is why she hasn't been in contact with me. She says she really wants to get with me. I felt like telling her don't worry about it. But I felt maybe we should get together. When I saw her in class today she kept looking at me and I was hanging with another girl even during breaks. She tryed to walk next to me after class but I acted like she wasn't there and kept walking. Maybe that was harsh but I just don't like her anymore. We never went on a date but once I mentally moved on it's hard to go back to that place. Guess we both miss out. I did my part. You know, when people get strep throat, it affects their fingers too, so they become unable to txt for a week. I'd play along, but if you really lost interest in her, then don't bother. For me personally, when it's this early, my interest level usually hovers around don't care either way. So for me it wouldn't bother me if she came back a week later with an excuse. I would not initiate again, because I do that once only. But if she takes the initiative to come after me, I'll play along and see where it goes. Although in my mind she would have lost points already, and she better do something to impress me. The bad thing about my approach (which I don't really care), is that I'll end up with women that does this flip flop over and over again. So your method of just cutting them off will ensure they won't flip flop on you anymore. For me, I multi date, so I could care less if they flip flop. If they want to be unavailable and give the other women a chance to build up a stronger connection with me, it's their choice. I just keep chugging along. Whatever happens happens.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 You know, when people get strep throat, it affects their fingers too, so they become unable to txt for a week. I'd play along, but if you really lost interest in her, then don't bother. For me personally, when it's this early, my interest level usually hovers around don't care either way. So for me it wouldn't bother me if she came back a week later with an excuse. I would not initiate again, because I do that once only. But if she takes the initiative to come after me, I'll play along and see where it goes. Although in my mind she would have lost points already, and she better do something to impress me. The bad thing about my approach (which I don't really care), is that I'll end up with women that does this flip flop over and over again. So your method of just cutting them off will ensure they won't flip flop on you anymore. For me, I multi date, so I could care less if they flip flop. If they want to be unavailable and give the other women a chance to build up a stronger connection with me, it's their choice. I just keep chugging along. Whatever happens happens. Yeah i guess it just depends. either way is ok. If she texts me later on and still wants to meet I may try to set it up. But I am not gonna contact her anymore. Wasn't really thinking this deep but there has to be consequences to actions. If a girl wants to play hard to get she needs to be prepared to have to work from ground zero or just go to the next dude.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Well she texted me like an hr ago I didn't even notice it because my cell is on vibrate and I was doing something else. It was asking how I was doing. I texted her I am ok what about her. I have her for a class tonite too. I think I should let her know I ain't interested anymore.
fishtaco Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 Well she texted me like an hr ago I didn't even notice it because my cell is on vibrate and I was doing something else. It was asking how I was doing. I texted her I am ok what about her. I have her for a class tonite too. I think I should let her know I ain't interested anymore. Yes, that would be nice, but... 1) It's optional. I've had plenty of women that chose the not-say-anything route. So you wouldn't be in the wrong for not telling her you're not interested. 2) If you say that, you run the risk of hurting her ego directly, and she may behave erratically, like for example, get mad at you. So be tactful. It's is nice etiquette though.
Author singlelife Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Yes, that would be nice, but... 1) It's optional. I've had plenty of women that chose the not-say-anything route. So you wouldn't be in the wrong for not telling her you're not interested. 2) If you say that, you run the risk of hurting her ego directly, and she may behave erratically, like for example, get mad at you. So be tactful. It's is nice etiquette though. I gotcha. Anyway let everyone know how it went later. I don't expect it to be all dramatic though. She may just decide I am not worth it since I don't play her game.
phineas Posted February 22, 2011 Posted February 22, 2011 The bad thing about my approach (which I don't really care), is that I'll end up with women that does this flip flop over and over again. So your method of just cutting them off will ensure they won't flip flop on you anymore. For me, I multi date, so I could care less if they flip flop. If they want to be unavailable and give the other women a chance to build up a stronger connection with me, it's their choice. I just keep chugging along. Whatever happens happens. This is me right now. Very layed back.So I get some flip-floppers. I know what's going on. Thier working their way through the list of men on POF or Match. I don't care. i'm not spending money on them anyway. LOL! Basically if their busy I tell them to let me know when they want to get together. sometimes I don't hear from them for a few weeks. sometimes i'll hang with them once a month & something might progress. It doesn't bother me, but if their calling they better have a plan I like in mind or i'll be "busy" lol.
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