ConstantTurmoil Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 I hear this term being thrown around alot. Actually in a recent post someone made reference to a distinction between a player and someone who sleeps around but is open about it? I'm just looking for people's perspective on this? Is it guys only? Women too? Specific to an age group? like 20-30? 30-40? or 40+ even? I'm really curious...as I pretty new to dating all things considered and I think I have just been played (ugh!)! Thank you!
P&R Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 I hear this term being thrown around alot. Actually in a recent post someone made reference to a distinction between a player and someone who sleeps around but is open about it? I'm just looking for people's perspective on this? Is it guys only? Women too? Specific to an age group? like 20-30? 30-40? or 40+ even? I'm really curious...as I pretty new to dating all things considered and I think I have just been played (ugh!)! Thank you! Anyone can be a player, male or female, old or young. Usually a player is somebody who has a lot of charisma and attracts a lot of men/women. Not only do they have a lot of charisma they seek to use other people for money, sex, or sport in general. Usually they'll lead people on to make them think they're genuinely interested.
jane100 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Personally, I don't think I have ever met a player. I met lots of confused, insecure, unavailable etc men but that is not quite the same thing. A player is a professional manipulator surely, a smoothie and a bit of a creep to be honest ...
Nexus One Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 (edited) I hear this term being thrown around alot. Actually in a recent post someone made reference to a distinction between a player and someone who sleeps around but is open about it? That was probably me. Here's how I see it. A player gives you the idea he might become your boyfriend or even more than that. He might not directly say it or he might lie to you about it in your face. A player wants sex. And he'll "play" you in such a way that he gets what he wants. Once you've slept with him and think everything is fine and dandy, then at the same time he might be doing what he did to you to 7 other women. You will not know it at first, but eventually you'll find out. You'll then be heartbroken and perhaps even crying and arguing with him over it. Anything you do will not touch him emotionally, he'll realize that he can't use you anymore and he'll move on to the other eggs in his basket. All you've been for him is satisfaction for his pleasure. You'll be scarred and will have to recover, while he's still out there having sex with other women, going from woman to woman, getting caught, moving on to the next target, playing his game. That's different from a guy you meet who's completely transparent about all his intentions. That transparency gives you a choice. That transparency gives you the option to protect yourself if you don't want one night stands. So suppose you meet someone, you have great chemistry and to seal your celebration of joy together you decide to have a one night stand together. The guy tells you upfront that's what he wants and you can say yes or no. You'll know exactly what the deal is and you will not be surprised, cheated or gamed. In that case I don't consider the guy a player. Are there female players? I'm sure there are. Although I don't know what they're called. Edited February 21, 2011 by Nexus One
Ay Diesel T Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Are there female players? I'm sure there are. Although I don't know what they're called. Sluts.
glimmer Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I hear this term being thrown around alot. Actually in a recent post someone made reference to a distinction between a player and someone who sleeps around but is open about it? I'm just looking for people's perspective on this? Is it guys only? Women too? Specific to an age group? like 20-30? 30-40? or 40+ even? I'm really curious...as I pretty new to dating all things considered and I think I have just been played (ugh!)! Thank you! A player is someone in the dating scene who intentionally smooth talks you so they can use you for something. Usually sex / no strings attached relationship when they know you are looking for more.
Nexus One Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Also note that the guys who are transparent about it might be sleeping with various women, but are also transparent about that. The key difference is the transparency. The key difference is that with a player you get surprised, with the guys that are open and upfront about their intentions and dealings you, what you see is what you get. Players are called player's because they're playing a game with you and you're the one that has the disadvantage of not having all the information. Guys who are not players will give you the information you need to make your own informed choice.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Players - like card players - intentionally keep you in the dark so they can make moves to their own advantage.
Seamless74 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 what is a player?? an often misunderstood and overused term used to describe a man who tries to fill his sexual desires by sleeping with women using any means necessary.. the only difference between a player and a regular guy is that a player is actually successful in the endeavor.
Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 A player/playette is a man or a women who leads a person on thinking he/she is the only "one" and feeds him/her lies in attempt to get into his/her pants. He/she can often do this with multiple girls/guys or more than one person and move on to the next.
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