How long after a girl is single should you wait before asking out? Is this a good ide

February 21, 2011

Hmm, from what I'm understanding, you are afraid of offically asking her out so soon after her break up because you think she will see it as a sign of you disrespecting her.

Parties are a great place to make things happen without having to worry about talking and dating. But there isn't going to be one.

Going to lunch together to catch up sounds fine as it's pretty casual. Telling her how you feel is a big no no. Just call her in a day or so and just be really relaxed about inviting her out. I'd pretend the last time you asked her out never happened.

February 21, 2011

Hmm, from what I'm understanding, you are afraid of offically asking her out so soon after her break up because you think she will see it as a sign of you disrespecting her.

Parties are a great place to make things happen without having to worry about talking and dating. But there isn't going to be one.

Going to lunch together to catch up sounds fine as it's pretty casual. Telling her how you feel is a big no no. Just call her in a day or so and just be really relaxed about inviting her out. I'd pretend the last time you asked her out never happened.

Exactly. We didnt' talk for a long time cause of that and I don't wanna lose her as a friend again, especially so soon after we started talking again

So go to lunch but wait a day or so on asking her out?

February 21, 2011

Actually, wouldn't asking in person be better than like over the phone?

February 22, 2011

Now I'm worried she may not show up tomorrow

I had to ask her a question so I texted her(it was about the class), I brought up that she should show up (since she has to sometime soon anyway), and she said that she had to go study

The thing is, her class isn't until Wednesday and its Monday right now..

February 22, 2011

Well she didn't show up in the class...

No lunch, so what can I do now?

February 22, 2011

I'd leave it alone, it's not looking favorable for you.

February 22, 2011

^Co-signed.

You're most likely not going to accept this, but you really need to let it go at this point. It's going nowhere.

February 22, 2011

Well she didn't show up in the class...

No lunch, so what can I do now?

Have you tried calling her and inviting her to lunch?

BTW: I'm sure that this is clear; if she declines your invite, you need to move on.

Edited February 22, 2011 by somedude81

February 22, 2011

Have you tried calling her and inviting her to lunch?

BTW: I'm sure that this is clear; if she declines your invite, you need to move on.

No, I was gonna do that if she showed up

February 22, 2011

And about the lunch... I don't know how I'll do it now

She has to go to work really early in the day and I was planning it today since we'd both be at the college and we could go right after I got out

Won't be able to do it any other way except for a weekend but since she doesn't work then, wouldn't it be weird to have just lunch on a Saturday?

Would just telling her how I feel at this point be a bad idea?

Edited February 22, 2011 by Kain Highwind

February 22, 2011

Kain,

You've been after this one for a while, and you've so afraid to be rejected that you are keeping yourself from moving on. Truth is, she knows you're interested. Given what you're putting yourself through, this is what I would do if I were in your shoes...

Ask her out on a weekend or weekday DATE. Don't ask with the attitude "if you don't want to go thats ok", be clear, fun and, confident and don't reject yourself... If she accepts great, if not you're no worse off then you are now and need to move on, and really move on. Not accepting would include the standard i'm busy (with no offer to reschedle at a specific time) or a last minute cancellation (with no attempt to reschedule at a specific time). I think the old saying, "rejection is better than regret applies in this case."

I'm sure she's and amazing girl, but there are others out there just as incredible or better if you open your mind to it.

cb

February 22, 2011

Kain,

You've been after this one for a while, and you've so afraid to be rejected that you are keeping yourself from moving on. Truth is, she knows you're interested. Given what you're putting yourself through, this is what I would do if I were in your shoes...

Ask her out on a weekend or weekday DATE. Don't ask with the attitude "if you don't want to go thats ok", be clear, fun and, confident and don't reject yourself... If she accepts great, if not you're no worse off then you are now and need to move on, and really move on. Not accepting would include the standard i'm busy (with no offer to reschedle at a specific time) or a last minute cancellation (with no attempt to reschedule at a specific time). I think the old saying, "rejection is better than regret applies in this case."

I'm sure she's and amazing girl, but there are others out there just as incredible or better if you open your mind to it.

cb

jw but... What would be a good date idea?

Whenever we hung out, we almost always went to a movie...

February 22, 2011

And two more things:

Isn't asking her out on a date via text/phone a bad idea?

And I should wait a few more days before trying to talk to her at all again, right? I was thinking, since she's the one that wanted me to take this class (painting),... I'm nearly done with my first painting, so I was thinking of taking apic of it when I'm done and then sending it to her and going from there? It'd give me a reason to talk and its something that would impress her

February 22, 2011

Kain you sound mildly obsessed with this woman. People are here, pointing out the obvious to you, but it's clear that you either don't want to hear it, don't believe it, or possibly oblivious to it.

My advice for you now is to keep pushing down the path you're going, it's probably for the better that you hear it from her mouth rather than read it here.

Best of luck to you man, and may you learn from this.

As for the women out there, reading this...the attractive ones with male friends, or at least you think they're you're friends...THIS is why some guys have issues with their GF being too friendly. The OP has been waiting and waiting, and now that his chance appeared to be there, he won't let up. It's unhealthy for all parties involved, it really is.

It's unhealthy for the lurking male "friend" who won't stop pursuing an unavailable woman.

It's unhealthy for the woman being pursued.

And it's unhealthy for the boyfriend of the woman who's being pursued.

This is why women need to buck up and be clear, cut and dry about things. All the gray areas you leave open to discussion and fantasy teasing only does this, as seen above, to some men.

OP, good luck with your future endeavors with women.

February 22, 2011

Kain you sound mildly obsessed with this woman. People are here, pointing out the obvious to you, but it's clear that you either don't want to hear it, don't believe it, or possibly oblivious to it.

My advice for you now is to keep pushing down the path you're going, it's probably for the better that you hear it from her mouth rather than read it here.

Best of luck to you man, and may you learn from this.

As for the women out there, reading this...the attractive ones with male friends, or at least you think they're you're friends...THIS is why some guys have issues with their GF being too friendly. The OP has been waiting and waiting, and now that his chance appeared to be there, he won't let up. It's unhealthy for all parties involved, it really is.

It's unhealthy for the lurking male "friend" who won't stop pursuing an unavailable woman.

It's unhealthy for the woman being pursued.

And it's unhealthy for the boyfriend of the woman who's being pursued.

This is why women need to buck up and be clear, cut and dry about things. All the gray areas you leave open to discussion and fantasy teasing only does this, as seen above, to some men.

OP, good luck with your future endeavors with women.

I'm only giving it htis last shot. If it doesn't work, I'm done with trying to get with her

That's why I'm worried. I'd still wanna be friends cause she was an actual friend at first and I wouldn't wanna lose that

February 23, 2011

Kain,

Since this is a girl you have some history with, do something the two of you like. Since you were taking an art class, go to an art exhbit together, play pool none of us can really answer that question for you.

There are no absoultes in dating, but call her up so she can hear your voice. You don't need an excuse. You're dragging this out and overthinking. Also realize one thing, whenever you try and date someone you risk loosing them as a friend, plain and simple. Its up to you to decide if its worth it.

But, being her "friend" when you are really waiting for the perfect time that the stars align and you have a perfect plan is asking for trouble. Essentially I agree with Diesel which is why I'm leading you down the road to either get accepted or rejected so you can move on.

cb

February 23, 2011

Kain,

Since this is a girl you have some history with, do something the two of you like. Since you were taking an art class, go to an art exhbit together, play pool none of us can really answer that question for you.

There are no absoultes in dating, but call her up so she can hear your voice. You don't need an excuse. You're dragging this out and overthinking. Also realize one thing, whenever you try and date someone you risk loosing them as a friend, plain and simple. Its up to you to decide if its worth it.

But, being her "friend" when you are really waiting for the perfect time that the stars align and you have a perfect plan is asking for trouble. Essentially I agree with Diesel which is why I'm leading you down the road to either get accepted or rejected so you can move on.

cb

So when should I do it? Should I wait a week or so since I'm sort of worried that she may have been trying to ignore me yesterday?

February 23, 2011

Kain,

Try and answer your own question on this one... If she was trying to ignore you do you think a week would really make a difference?

cb

February 23, 2011

Kain,

Try and answer your own question on this one... If she was trying to ignore you do you think a week would really make a difference?

cb

eh, I wwas under the impression that I just started talking too much too soon, so possibly

February 23, 2011

In that case, fine wait a week and then go for it. Good luck.

February 23, 2011

In that case, fine wait a week and then go for it. Good luck.

Thanks

Its just that we've only talked all of like three times in like the past few months so two nights in a row is a pretty big change lol

February 23, 2011

OP, you're obsessive and that in itself, is extremely unattractive.

February 23, 2011

OP, you're obsessive and that in itself, is extremely unattractive.

I actually remembered something I forgot that makes this into a huge overreaction

Watching House, notice the episode is named "Maternity", reminded me of the class that she's taking (has to do with kids), and I remembered that she said she had to go up to the school Monday anyway. That's when she went to the class, and I remember her basically living in the library when we talked alot and they can't use phones so she probably actually did go there to study when she was there

I'm just a pessimist I guess

February 23, 2011

First, I don't mean to be offensive, but I think it's good for you. I agree with everyone here that, for one you should just move on. And also you are being clingy and obsessive. For instance, your breaking down every scenario analytically.

Second, how can you even consider yourself her friend? In my opinion, your actually one of the worst kind of "friend" there is. You're putting up this facade that you are genuinely her friend, while your goals are simply to get with her.

I mean, have you even looked at the situation from her perspective? She just broke up with her boyfriend, a REAL friend would be more concerned about her emotional well-being, rather than concentrating on his chances to successfully date her. Adding to that, if you truly did care about her, you would be concerned about that as well. But based on your posts here, you're more concerned on you chances. Which shows that you don't really care about her, and that you probably are obsessing.

And don't give me that, your treading carefully because you still want to be friends with her. I think its a method for you of holding on to hope, that one day you guys might get together.

February 23, 2011

First, I don't mean to be offensive, but I think it's good for you. I agree with everyone here that, for one you should just move on. And also you are being clingy and obsessive. For instance, your breaking down every scenario analytically.

Second, how can you even consider yourself her friend? In my opinion, your actually one of the worst kind of "friend" there is. You're putting up this facade that you are genuinely her friend, while your goals are simply to get with her.

I mean, have you even looked at the situation from her perspective? She just broke up with her boyfriend, a REAL friend would be more concerned about her emotional well-being, rather than concentrating on his chances to successfully date her. Adding to that, if you truly did care about her, you would be concerned about that as well. But based on your posts here, you're more concerned on you chances. Which shows that you don't really care about her, and that you probably are obsessing.

And don't give me that, your treading carefully because you still want to be friends with her. I think its a method for you of holding on to hope, that one day you guys might get together.

Except first thing I did when I found out was happen is call her best friend and ask if she was ok

I was pretty upset when it happened cause I knew she liked him and I heard she was dumped.

The only reason I was breaking that down is cause it just seemed downright weird but now that I remembered why she did it, it really isn't

Sign In

How long after a girl is single should you wait before asking out? Is this a good ide

Recommended Posts

somedude81

Kain Highwind

Kain Highwind

Kain Highwind

Kain Highwind

Ay Diesel T

Cracker Jack

somedude81

Kain Highwind

Kain Highwind

CobaltBlue

Kain Highwind

Kain Highwind

Ay Diesel T

Kain Highwind

CobaltBlue

Kain Highwind

CobaltBlue

Kain Highwind

CobaltBlue

Kain Highwind

xpaperxcutx

Kain Highwind

somethingsimple

Kain Highwind

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...