How long after a girl is single should you wait before asking out? Is this a good ide

[Kain Highwind]

a?

 

Ok, this girl I've been crazy about for months just became single recently. She really liked her boyfriend but he essentially got bored with her and just dumped her

 

I don't know how she's taking it right now (We haven't talked in like a month), but I have an idea. I have to call her for one of my teachers (taking a class she took, she left her stuff in it, teacher wants her to come get it). I was thinking of calling her tonight aobut it, and when she comes to get it, say that we need to like catch up (since its been months since we've hung out) and then ask her to like lunch or something. If we do that, I'd then ask her out on a date while we're out

 

It was just five days ago... Is this too soon? If so, what else can I do? Just be there for her? Tell her how I feel?

 

I sort of wanna tell her but I don't know if its a good idea. She means more to me than anyone else does. I care about her more than I do for anyone else, including most of my family. Just being around her puts me in a good mood and if I was having a bad day, hearing her voice was enough to cheer me up, she's made me happier than anyone else ever has

 

I've been with other girls and even when I was with them, I could admit that they were having a bad hair day or they didn't look great one day or something. Not her though... She's always been downright beautiful to me. She has an amazing personality and she's downright gorgeous.

 

She's the closest to heaven I've ever been and I'm pretty much constantly thinking of her all the time. I'd do anything for her to be happy and just seeing a smile on her face makes me happy.

[Ay Diesel T]

a?

 

Ok, this girl I've been crazy about for months just became single recently. She really liked her boyfriend but he essentially got bored with her and just dumped her

 

I don't know how she's taking it right now (We haven't talked in like a month), but I have an idea. I have to call her for one of my teachers (taking a class she took, she left her stuff in it, teacher wants her to come get it). I was thinking of calling her tonight aobut it, and when she comes to get it, say that we need to like catch up (since its been months since we've hung out) and then ask her to like lunch or something. If we do that, I'd then ask her out on a date while we're out

 

It was just five days ago... Is this too soon? If so, what else can I do? Just be there for her? Tell her how I feel?

 

I sort of wanna tell her but I don't know if its a good idea. She means more to me than anyone else does. I care about her more than I do for anyone else, including most of my family. Just being around her puts me in a good mood and if I was having a bad day, hearing her voice was enough to cheer me up, she's made me happier than anyone else ever has

 

I've been with other girls and even when I was with them, I could admit that they were having a bad hair day or they didn't look great one day or something. Not her though... She's always been downright beautiful to me. She has an amazing personality and she's downright gorgeous.

 

She's the closest to heaven I've ever been and I'm pretty much constantly thinking of her all the time. I'd do anything for her to be happy and just seeing a smile on her face makes me happy.

 

Honestly, I think you'd do best to forget about it. Why wait on this woman? You'll realize how much time you've wasted waiting around for her, especially when she had a boyfriend?

 

You've gotta have a bit more self-respect and confidence in yourself to go out there and find an actual available woman. This woman was never available to you, while in her relationship, and even now, since she's just broken up with her boyfriend with whom you said she was very into. Seems to me that you seek to capitalize on her all time low that she's going through, which wouldn't be somebody to be happy over. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

If you don't mind, why have you excluded other women out of the picture? Why are you so hung up on this girl? What makes you only focus on her? Her looks?

 

My apologies if my post is a bit harsh, this is just tough neutral feedback.

[Kain Highwind]

Honestly, I think you'd do best to forget about it. Why wait on this woman? You'll realize how much time you've wasted waiting around for her, especially when she had a boyfriend?

 

You've gotta have a bit more self-respect and confidence in yourself to go out there and find an actual available woman. This woman was never available to you, while in her relationship, and even now, since she's just broken up with her boyfriend with whom you said she was very into. Seems to me that you seek to capitalize on her all time low that she's going through, which wouldn't be somebody to be happy over. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

If you don't mind, why have you excluded other women out of the picture? Why are you so hung up on this girl? What makes you only focus on her? Her looks?

 

My apologies if my post is a bit harsh, this is just tough neutral feedback.

Well, I wasn't really thinking of capitalizing (which is why I was asking how long I should wait). I've just thought that I may finally have another chance now

 

And I haven't excluded other women. I've tried but they haven't made me feel like I do towards her. Its pretty much everything. Looks, personality... Everything

[mo mo]

I think your idea of getting lunch to catch up is good.

 

Telling her about how you feel is a bad idea though. Really bad. No offense, but you sound really clingy, and that's not what a girl who just got dumped needs to discover.

[Kain Highwind]

I think your idea of getting lunch to catch up is good.

 

Telling her about how you feel is a bad idea though. Really bad. No offense, but you sound really clingy, and that's not what a girl who just got dumped needs to discover.

eh, I wasn't gonna do it, I don't think

 

just wondering if it was a good idea

[Ay Diesel T]

Well, I wasn't really thinking of capitalizing (which is why I was asking how long I should wait). I've just thought that I may finally have another chance now

 

And I haven't excluded other women. I've tried but they haven't made me feel like I do towards her. Its pretty much everything. Looks, personality... Everything

 

She's unavailable emotionally if anything. And if she is available emotionally, it could still be a bad thing. For her to get involved with someone else right after a serious relationship wouldn't be a good sign, at least not for someone like you who's romantically interested. Perhaps, take it slow. Just have fun with her. Put your emotions aside for now. I'm sure she will not want to get serious for a while. At this stage, women usually just enjoy their single lives. Some enjoy it with several men. Some enjoy it in abstinence. Some enjoy it with a Mr. Right now. That Mr. Right now could be you, if you play your cards right. If you do acquire the Mr. Right Now title, from there, after a while, you could elevate to a romantically involved relationship which is what I assume you hope for.

 

Just tread carefully for now. Try to keep any emotionally invested aspects out of the picture. Be fun and charming. You'll probably score a lay. From there you can slowly work your grand plan - but it'll take patience and time. She has to get over her hurt - which may not be possible for her if she's seeing another guy. Some people get over break ups and hurt in different ways.

 

Example? I tried to get over mine by sleeping with lots of women. It didn't work. When I realized it wasn't working, I slowed down a bit, and tried to pursue a relationship with one young lady. A couple months in I realized that I couldn't fully move on unless I just wasn't involved with women period.

 

She may be the same, she may not. These are all things for you to consider, and prepare for mentally, and emotionally - as it seems you're heart is already in it...for some reason.

[Kain Highwind]

And I just talked to my friend. He threw a party last night (didn't go cause I wasn't feeling that great). She was there and he said that she's apparently doing good

[Kain Highwind]

Called her earlier

 

She answered the phone like the fastest she's ever done, she sounded happy to see me (it was the first time we've talked on the phone in months)

 

Talked for about 20 minutes and she wants to come to my class

 

Didn't talk for as long as we used to but it was just like nothing happened between us. She didn't sound upset or anything.

[somedude81]

Good luck man.

 

Though you might want to do a little research on rebounds.

[somethingsimple]

No offense or anything, but first of all you need to get your priorities straight. You said you haven't talked to her in over a month, but yet you care about her than most of your family members? Possibly, care more about her than yourself? And why, because she fits into your views on a perfect girl?

 

In my opinion, this is what you need to do. First, kick her off that pedestal. Find ways to value yourself more, than any girl who hasn't done anything to build your love yet. If you're still too emotionally attached to her.

 

Ask her out, if she says no. Get over it and move on. If she says yes, DO NOT put her on a pedestal, if you do your only guaranteeing getting hurt and failure. Trust me, people want a partner in a relationship, a teammate, someone they can call their equal...not someone who worships the ground they walk on.

[Kain Highwind]

Good luck man.

 

Though you might want to do a little research on rebounds.

I know about rebounds but... She sounded really happy and not upset at all... Is it possible that she won't need one?

[irc333]

You do it right away, because chances are there are 10 other male "friends" that will be doing the same thing, so if you hear the news FIRST....make sure to go for it.

 

I really don't see any reason not to, I heard of some guys question this senario, only to hold off, and see the woman of their desires in the arms of a new boyfriend.

 

a?

 

Ok, this girl I've been crazy about for months just became single recently. She really liked her boyfriend but he essentially got bored with her and just dumped her

 

I don't know how she's taking it right now (We haven't talked in like a month), but I have an idea. I have to call her for one of my teachers (taking a class she took, she left her stuff in it, teacher wants her to come get it). I was thinking of calling her tonight aobut it, and when she comes to get it, say that we need to like catch up (since its been months since we've hung out) and then ask her to like lunch or something. If we do that, I'd then ask her out on a date while we're out

 

It was just five days ago... Is this too soon? If so, what else can I do? Just be there for her? Tell her how I feel?

 

I sort of wanna tell her but I don't know if its a good idea. She means more to me than anyone else does. I care about her more than I do for anyone else, including most of my family. Just being around her puts me in a good mood and if I was having a bad day, hearing her voice was enough to cheer me up, she's made me happier than anyone else ever has

 

I've been with other girls and even when I was with them, I could admit that they were having a bad hair day or they didn't look great one day or something. Not her though... She's always been downright beautiful to me. She has an amazing personality and she's downright gorgeous.

 

She's the closest to heaven I've ever been and I'm pretty much constantly thinking of her all the time. I'd do anything for her to be happy and just seeing a smile on her face makes me happy.

[carhill]

OP, at your age, and also at most ages IME, a number of guys have already asked the lady out on a date in the last five days. Might as well join the lineup. Stow the emotional attachment. Not appropriate. She hasn't earned that. Enjoy your lunch. Hope she joins you.

[Kain Highwind]

Ok, I found something out today

 

He didn't dump her, just because he was bored, but because he's leaving for a few months too. t was apparently a somewhat mutual thing

[carhill]

So, smile when you ask her out at lunch. Mutual endings are less likely to be rancorous and emotion-filled. Good news for you.

[Kain Highwind]

Just can't decide if its too soon or not... I mean, if she does go to lunch, it'll be the first time we've seen each other really in a bout four months

 

And it'll only be a week tomorrow since they split up, even if it was mutual...

[carhill]

Big tip from old (formerly) married fart. You have no control over what she does. Stop taking responsibility for her dynamic. Do what *you* want to do. If she's on the same page, she is. If not, not. Think it to death and it will be a corpse.

[Kain Highwind]

Big tip from old (formerly) married fart. You have no control over what she does. Stop taking responsibility for her dynamic. Do what *you* want to do. If she's on the same page, she is. If not, not. Think it to death and it will be a corpse.

idk what i wanna do though lol

 

I wanna ask her out soon cause I really like her and I'm afraid I"ll miss my chance again but I wanna wait cause we just started talking again and the last time I asked her out, we quit talking or seeing each other for months (since she was pretty much dating the other guy already)... Part of me just wants to wait so I can spend time with her again, just in case it goes badly again but part of me wants to go ahead and do it...

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You should definitely ask her out. Don't wait.

 

Good luck!

[carhill]

OP, if you don't want to hold her in your arms and kiss her, don't waste her time or yours. Move on. If you do, there's no need for me to repeat anything, right?

[Ay Diesel T]

OP, if you don't want to hold her in your arms and kiss her, don't waste her time or yours. Move on. If you do, there's no need for me to repeat anything, right?

 

Carhill you are the ****ing MAN!

[Kain Highwind]

And anothe reason I feel like I should wait is that she got mad at me (and we quit talking as a result) because she said I wasn't respecting her (since I asked her out right after she said she went on a date the night before). I'm afraid she may pull that again if I do it so soon..

[somedude81]

And I just talked to my friend. He threw a party last night (didn't go cause I wasn't feeling that great). She was there and he said that she's apparently doing good

Any idea if there is going to be a party this week? That would be a perfect time to make your move.

[Kain Highwind]

Any idea if there is going to be a party this week? That would be a perfect time to make your move.

I already know there isn't

 

It was cause my friend's wife came home after having to be gone like a month

[Kain Highwind]

And just wondering... Is there any reason for her to say no?

 

I mean, it'd just be a date. The last time, I was turned down cause she was dating someone else (evne though I thought it was just a date at the time)...

 

And I was thinking, if I do it, saying it like "Hey, I understand if you say know, seeig as how soon it is and how this is the first time we've seen each other in a long time, but would you like to go on a date with me? I understand if you don't wanna, but I'd appreciate it if you gave me a chance." or something like that

 

How should I ask?