shrop Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 hi, i was with my girlfriend for 6 months and honestly thought she was the girl of my dreams. The last couple of months I haven't been 100% happy but still loved this girl alot. Anyway she has accused me of cheating which I didnt before xmas and we got over this and had a really good xmas together. About 3 weeks ago she left her facebook and just couldnt resist looking, there were messages of another lad saying crude suggestive messgaes. She didnt reply to them but i asked her and she went mad, packed my stuff and ended back up to my parents. These last three weeks we haven't seen each other but i have text and rang her alot. She has been very cold and nasty to me blaming the whole break up on me and if i never went on her facebook we would still be together. I have done all the wrong things; cried, begged, said horrible things, apoligised for everything and more. Im trying this whole no contact thing at the moment just to get my head straight but its so hard. I just want to text her or ring her even though she rarely replys or answers. Is there any advice on how to deal with this? thanks
ZachNormand Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Firstly, it was very wrong on your part to "spy" on her FB messages. That was so immature on your part. Now you are aggravating your situation by showing how much more immature you are by crying, begging etc. Get on a grip on yourself first. Then if you want, apologize again, sincerely, like a man, and then give her time to decided on whether she wants to get back with you or not. Don't pester or else she will really wanna get rid of you. Feel free to PM me any other questions
Author shrop Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 i didnt really look at it being me immature and yes I was. ALthough she was insecure also and checked mine and had to delete a couple of people who she thought was my ex's before we met. I have been completely lost these last few weeks, i cant eat, sleep and its affecting my work. I now by texting her im pushing her away but i just cant help myself. I have deleted her number to try and help me but i just dread every new day.
2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Hi Shrop Sounds like she has very tipsy emotions/jealousy issues maybe and you took the brunt of them. How many BFs has she had and longest RL to date, if you know that info? Some people are great at making you look the bad one in the situation, it is like self-preservation of integrity an ego and is a nasty trait sometimes. My ex was similar in nature, she was very sensitive and did have issues, she even told me, and had been hurt bad in the past, well who hasn't lol, get effin over it! She was also a serial flaker and went cold and nasty for no real reason, she just put up a wall and I ws on the other side. What a difference from when I first met her. I would defo go full NC, get rid of everything, delete her from FB and everything else. I have been doing it a month and it is the only way you can heal, a lot of the days are long and hard and draining, it gets easier to deal with but you still get bad days along the way. If she does contact ignore it unless she want to talk or apologise or both etc. I'm telling you now she sounds like my ex was and will play games with you if you keep contacting her and it will hurt way more than going NC - trust me. 2011 Edited February 20, 2011 by 2011
Author shrop Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 yeah she always said she had a bad life, she has a son who she raised by herself, her parents divorced and then didnt speak to her father for 8 years who then passed away. This was before we met and I always listened and offered my sympathy. I now about some of her previous relationships infact I work with one of her ex's. She hasn't been treated too great in all honesty, but I was having a conversation with my work colleague about her and alot of what he was saying was what I'm going through. They broke up briefly got back together but all on her terms til he eventually said enough was enough (took him two years!) and stopped contact, he told me she went through a begging stage with him but to be honest hes a bit of a pillock so not sure to belive everything he says. Im am going no contact after three weeks off being an idiot but I cant help feeling gulity because also I got very close to her 5 year old son and cant help miss them both
locnlove10 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Sounds like you need to give her some time and the relationship some time to heal. If you keep calling her and nagging her it's going to make things worse. Sometimes you have to let things rest and then comeback to it. give her some time to get her thoughts together and you do the same. There must be a trust issue somewhere otherwise you wouldn't have been snooping around on her FB. If you all are in a relationship get an FB account together and that will cut down on some of the issues. I know you miss her and her son but time heals all things.
Author shrop Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 I did trust her, it was my ex that had trust issues. I shouldnt of gone on her fb i now that but she had been on mine and didnt mind becuase I didnt have anything to hide. I take blame for the initial break up but ive had efforts to put things right. Also when she found out I went fishing this weekend with friends she went mad, she said I did f**k all with her and she never wants to see me again. So from yesterday we have had no contact. To my family and friends im doing great but im not.
MissyLove Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 I did trust her, it was my ex that had trust issues. I shouldnt of gone on her fb i now that but she had been on mine and didnt mind becuase I didnt have anything to hide. I take blame for the initial break up but ive had efforts to put things right. Also when she found out I went fishing this weekend with friends she went mad, she said I did f**k all with her and she never wants to see me again. So from yesterday we have had no contact. To my family and friends im doing great but im not. I think all you can do is apologise and let her know how sorry you are and that you would still like to give it another go - Just let her know your intentions. Then as your doing, just go NC and give her space to get over things, calm down and think things through. If she wants to give it another go, then great but if she doesn't, then see this as a lesson in life. I know it's hard but we all make mistakes and the truth is, you never know what will happen in the future. Just try to not damage the situation any more than you have. Goodluck!!
Author shrop Posted February 21, 2011 Author Posted February 21, 2011 ive asked for a second chance but she says its too late and too much has been said in the last few weeks, i dont think by contacting will make any difference now. NC is the only way for me I believe, and yes your right it is a lesson learnt but a hard one at that. I kind of feel guilty at the moment for both her and her son but she just acts like she dont care, maybe she doesn't, confused.com!
Author shrop Posted February 22, 2011 Author Posted February 22, 2011 Can anybody offer any adivce on this, my doctor has signed me off for a week from work and wished he hadn't because Im just so damn miserable. All i do is think about my ex, doc says im showing signs of depression and prescirbed me the drug citalopram. I think theres a difference between a broken heart and depression just wondered any one elses thoughts on this?
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