purplehouse Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 OK, so met guy late November, instant attraction, slowly get to know each other a little through where we volunteer. He got in contact with me through facebook and we went out last Saturday night to see some bands. All week we talked on the phone through text or facebook. He said he likes me and would really like to see me again. He suggested a coffee through the day which ended up not happening. (partly due to my own issues and i was genuinely busy with work and organising my little boys birthday) I apologiesd for not being able to meet up and he was really good about it and said "that's just life". I felt bad because i do believe you can make time if you really really want to and i do want to. So He went away yesterday for a week and the night before he sent me a long message about his trip and study and told me he would keep in touch while away as he has his laptop and that he is looking forward to seeing me again. So i replied wishing him a good trip and suggested we do the coffee and catch up thing at my place one evening when he get's back, stating that it would work better as i am often busy during the day (i have kids in school and i work) and that i'd be able to relax more. ( no kids involved, they will be in bed fast asleep) He said it sounds great. Now he didn't kiss me or make any physical move while we were out on Saturday night but we had a great time laughing, talking and there were moments and 'looks'. So he was a gentleman so to speak and i trust him to come to my home as he is known in town as a nice guy and i feel comfortable with him. But do you think he thinks i am trying to organise this as a way to have sex?? I did say 'cuppa and a chat' in the message, which is what he originally wanted to do,except it will be in the evening not day time. I am not ready to have sex with him, but my reasons for the evening thing is really about being able to chill out and not to have to try 'squeeze' him in through the day. thanks
LittleTiger Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 If he's been the perfect gentleman so far I don't think you need to worry. He sounds like a good guy and he's not going to jump to any conclusions unless you give him reason to (unless he's still a teenager?). Enjoy your evening when it happens and don't let your concerns get in the way of any 'innocent' advances he may make - such as trying to kiss you. If he seems to be pushing for more you can make it very clear, as nicely as possible, that you're not ready.......but, from what you've said, I'd hazard a guess he'll continue to be a gentleman. Hope the date goes well.
sammyd Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 He sounds nice:) I'm sure he won't think that. At the end of the day, you're in charge of what you're comfortable with, so, just go with the flow and have a great evening:)
Author purplehouse Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Thanks for your replies. He is 38 and has just gone back to finish his studies after not working while caring for his dad. (hence the volunteer work) So admittedly i think his budget may be tight at the moment, which is why we are doing the coffee thing, plus my kids only go to their dads once a month and on school holidays so it's not always easy for me to get a babysitter for evenings. I hope it goes well. He has been great to get to know so far. I'm used to dating guys my age and they never stick around (fair enough, i do have lot's of responsibilities) and i think this guy is after something more meaningful than sex.. going by the differences already. I guess i was worried i might have given him the wrong idea... thanks again!!
phineas Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 I personally would only think you wanted sex if you found a baby sitter. We'd wake the kids if there was sex. Why don't the kids go to their dad's more often? Like every other weekend? Unless he doesn't want them or can't due to work. I got mine every weekend also & a couple nights during the week. Makes it tough to date.
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