KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Guys how would you feel if your GF yells or hurls insults? I keep doing it, even when he doesn't deserves it. He on the other has never raised his voice at me (well, he was raised into not yelling nor hitting women) but says nothing. I'm now wondering if I'm hurting him by doing this. I once shouted at him in front of people. I'm starting to feel bad (I denied him intimacy too when angered or stopped it) but keep doing it.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Instead of going into a rant about how you should feel bad, I'll instead try and help you through this. I am the kind of guy that like to help people, so this is what i'll do. Do you have reasons for yelling? Are you an angry person in general? is your life situation stressful? Is there a family history of anger? Any information will be useful. 1
K.K. Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Yeah, you're probably just testing him or something. Stop. You want him to like you, remember?
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Do you have reasons for yelling It's whenever he makes mistakes. For example: The day he brought something else instead of what I asked for. I end up throwing the whole bag on the floor and threw a fit as well too, calling him names. The first time it made me feel in control but I'm really feeling bad now. I know he doesn't deserves it and at times got to the point I've gotten in his face while yelling. Are you an angry person in general? is your life situation stressful?I admit that I'm a short-tempered girl and don't like feeling controlled. It's the feeling of me being in charge, not vice-versa. Is there a family history of anger?Sure, my now ex alcoholic step-father would abused both my mother and I. She did nothing but took it. He tried hitting me again so I grabbed the kitchen knief and threatened to throat his throat if he ever lay his hands on me again.
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Yeah, you're probably just testing him or something. Stop. You want him to like you, remember?I've been trying to stop but keep on doing it. You know some of friends keep telling me I'll lose him for good one of these day.
Woggle Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Get counseling not just because of this relationship but yourself in general. Don't let your anger step father ruin your relationship with him and possible other men in the future.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Do what Woggle said, he makes sense. Seek counceling because if you don't things can get worse, a lot worse.
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Do what Woggle said, he makes sense. Seek counceling because if you don't things can get worse, a lot worse.I will try to fit this in since I work and study. Sometimes they even call me on Sundays to work instead of Saturdays. Talk about break! I tried once talking to a counselor in my school once way back in 7th grade. However, I didn't told her the whole story as it would have led to cops coming in the home to which my mother would have deny the whole thing and it would probably end up bad for me.
Woggle Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 I will try to fit this in since I work and study. Sometimes they even call me on Sundays to work instead of Saturdays. Talk about break! I tried once talking to a counselor in my school once way back in 7th grade. However, I didn't told her the whole story as it would have led to cops coming in the home to which my mother would have deny the whole thing and it would probably end up bad for me. Most therapists are willing to work around your schedule so you should be able to find time. I have a life as busy as can be and I still see a therapist once a week because I have serious issues stemming from abuse as well. Don't let your stepfather win because in the end lashing out at the wrong people will not do you one bit of good.
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Guys how would you feel if your GF yells or hurls insults? I keep doing it, even when he doesn't deserves it. He on the other has never raised his voice at me (well, he was raised into not yelling nor hitting women) but says nothing. I'm now wondering if I'm hurting him by doing this. I once shouted at him in front of people. I'm starting to feel bad (I denied him intimacy too when angered or stopped it) but keep doing it. I'm surprised he hasn't broken up with you yet. Think about seeking some therapy to figure out why you get angry and yell at him and are being mean to him. It's just not right. OF COURSE you're hurting him. If he yelled at you, don't you think you'd feel hurt and start to resentment him for treating you so poorly?
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 If he yelled at you, don't you think you'd feel hurt and start to resentment him for treating you so poorly? I would have left him right on the spot that day.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 If you are able to seek therapy, be sure to tell your boyfriend that you are, it might very well earn you some good points and keep him from dumping you.
Els Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks the OP lives under a bridge? Seriously. Bet the poster is a bitter man who wants some 'proof' that 'all women treat men like ****'.
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks the OP lives under a bridge? Seriously. Bet the poster is a bitter man who wants some 'proof' that 'all women treat men like ****'.Wow... oh just wow I want to improve and you called me a liar? Why don't you keep your accusations to yourself if you're not even going to help? Just don't post on my thread then. And yes I'm a woman.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 Kathy, Ignore people like him, he's simply trolling. You get used to trolls on this site after a while. Instead of focusing on him, lets focus on you.
Author KathyG Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Kathy, Ignore people like him, he's simply trolling. You get used to trolls on this site after a while. Instead of focusing on him, lets focus on you.Thank you.
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