fiat500 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 i've decided to start a coping log since i have no trouble doing NC but have trouble being positive. it's been over three months since being dumped (and being replaced) and it's hard to change my negative view on my self. sometimes i have moments of clarity where i feel better about myself knowing that i would never treat someone as he did to me and feeling satisfied with the fact that i was fantastic to him, but he never gave the relationship a chance to be real.
Author fiat500 Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 today i had that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach possibly due to staying home all day and not being able to focus on anything else. still get anxious feelings for no reason at times it's been over three months since the break up. over a month since final contact. hope this is normal. my ego is still shattered. sometimes i still feel shocked that he did what he did to me but have to remember he is immature despite his age and is in an environment that breeds it (college).
Author fiat500 Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 i drew a comic about a bad dream i had about my ex rejecting me again. http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgfzd7BEgQ1qh4rqeo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1298281212&Signature=rSxa1r8TJaDCoyQCOmQ2dLrjDIY%3D exact dialogue and scenario from the dream. i was at his birthday party for some reason. lol.
Author fiat500 Posted February 23, 2011 Author Posted February 23, 2011 i've started to feel immense hatred toward my ex and i don't want to. he treated me like utter sh*t at the end, dumped me over facebook messenger and still won the battle since he got a shiny new girlfriend at the college he lives at as a reward. it must be super fun to get a reward for treating someone like excrement. i would love to live in the world he lives in. college is the perfect time to burn bridges at home with friends and former flames since you don't get to be lonely at all while living in a controlled fantasy bubble where your only job is to study, get good grades, express carnal desires, live on mommy and daddy's credit card, focus on you, go to dorm parties, and chill the best you can. he is 25 years old and acts like a 19 year old girl. i dated a 19 year old girl. i don't know how i feel about this.
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