DJAYD Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Me and my ex gf were together for five yrs, in those 5 years I did everything to help her out because she had absolutely nothing. Here recently she moved in with her friend and ever since then things have been the same. She said she needed space/break 2 times in two months..the week before we broke up she cried nd apologized for putting me through the breaks and she vowed to always be with me. The next week she broke up with me for reasons as she needs time on her own and doesn't want to be with anyone..after the breakup I was her "friend" for a couple days and since then I've been in NC for 2 weeks..she has been staring at me in class, talking to our mutual friends about me, and wrote me an email a couple days ago about rumors, drama, and she ended up saying it was up to me whether or not I spoke to her again and that on her end we weren't on bad terms....I have no clue what do at this point, any advice??
Author DJAYD Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 Bump...I really need some advice guys, thanks
D78 Posted February 20, 2011 Posted February 20, 2011 DJAYD, I'm sorry you're going through this. Your ex doesn't seem to know what she wants. You say you have no clue what to do, but you really only have 3 options: (1) go completely NC (no contact) and if she talks to you at school respond with nothing more than a polite hello and smile, this would allow you to heal; (2) try to be friends with her, which will require you to be okay watching her with someone else; or (3) try to get back together with her, which will probably be a bad idea right now because you've broken up. What are you inclined to do, and why? What exactly are you confused about?
Author DJAYD Posted February 20, 2011 Author Posted February 20, 2011 I think that as of this moment I'm inclined to take option one, I've already been in NC for 2 weeks now and we broke up 3 weeks ago it's just she constantly keeps talking about me and she sent me this email basically venting to me about the Post Breakup Drama, but she says that it's up to me whether or not I still talk to her...she told me she didn't want me in her life right now when we broke up...so why is she sending a big long email and still talking about me when I've ignored her??
D78 Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 It sounds to me like she's just stringing you along because well... maybe as a backup plan or for emotional support as she pursues whatever or whomever she plans to pursue. She said bye to you, and I think you should say it back. Actually you don't need to literally say goodbye - just say nothing. There's no need to read her long rants about drama. She's not there for you, so you have no obligation to be there for her. Go NC and recover. Good luck!
Author DJAYD Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 Just an update...She stopped me in the hallway today to tell me that she was bringing the rest of my things (that'd she bought which would make them hers) in her friends car tommorrow nd if I wanted them to get them shed bring them...this is after 4 weeks of no contact...I told them she could keep things and that I didn't want them...she had a confused look and then I walked off...did I do the right thing? What other steps should I take?
Yamaha Posted February 24, 2011 Posted February 24, 2011 She is trying to talk 2 you b/c she feels guilty for dumping you. Maybe speak if you see her but she broke up with you so she can't expect you to stay friends with her. She wants her cake and eat it 2. You need 2 do what is best for u. Don't worry about her feelings but consentrate on yourself and healing emotionally. Not an easy thing to do!!!
Author DJAYD Posted February 24, 2011 Author Posted February 24, 2011 So what exactly are you guys saying that she feels guilty because I haven't seen that at all
Author DJAYD Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 So a couple days ago my ex asked a mutual friend whether or not I still planned on talking to her because she needed to know whether or not she needed to just forget about everything(she told the friend to txt me nd find out if I was). Also the mutual friend was having bf problems and my ex gave her the advice "I'd make sure that you take your time before u decide to breakup with him and so you wot regret it like I do". So my question to you guys, should I have a talk with her and see what she has to say? Does she want me back? Just any thoughts or advice would be great
Author DJAYD Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Guys I really some help on this one
Anna86 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Hey!! I don't know...She needs space but maybe now she is hoping you will come after her. I think because she broke up with you she should be trying harder to get in contact. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. If I were you, I would text her to say hi and see how she is doing. You are doing nothing wrong there!! If she writes back have a chat and see how interested she is in your life. If you think it all goes well maybe suggest you go for coffee and take it from there. What have you got to lose? I really don't think texting her is ging to change her mind on getting back together. Some people say no contact but I don't see the harm in a simple text to see how interested she is in you. She could be stringing you along so be careful!! Keep up your wits and remember how she hurt you in the past. good luck
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