GreenPolicy Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 If a genie popped up out of a bottle and had the ability to grant you one wish from the following two choices, which would you choose? 1) With everything you know about your ex, incorporating how they treated you in the relationship and how they handled the breakup, they contact you wanting to rekindle things. This is not a guarantee of happily ever after and growing old together, just your ex wanting to try things again. 2) The ability to be instantly healed and in no more pain whatsoever from your breakup. That means you feel no pain, you have a sunny, positive outlook on life, you are able to enjoy your hobbies and interests again 100 percent, you can experience joy, and your heart is healed completely to the point that you are ready to enter another relationship and love another person if you were to meet somebody. What would you choose?
Call Me Al Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 #2 provided I still get the learning experience of dealing with a breakup somehow implanted in my psyche. Ending relationships sucks, but in hindsight even the terrible ones have taught me things about myself and made me a better person.
Author GreenPolicy Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 2 Which would you choose? Two, no question. Which leads me to my epiphany: I have no control over what my ex does, or if she ever reaches out to me. And I think part of the pining and yearning is for what we had, when I realize I can't go back to that. But I do have it within my power to work towards #2. There's just no genie to grant me that instant relief.
D78 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Two, no question. Which leads me to my epiphany: I have no control over what my ex does, or if she ever reaches out to me. And I think part of the pining and yearning is for what we had, when I realize I can't go back to that. But I do have it within my power to work towards #2. There's just no genie to grant me that instant relief. Well said. Instant relief might be like instant coffee - shallow, fake, weird... The good news is that you don't need a genie to get to 2. You seem like you're already well on your way.
D78 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 ... 2) The ability to be instantly healed and in no more pain whatsoever from your breakup. That means you feel no pain, you have a sunny, positive outlook on life, you are able to enjoy your hobbies and interests again 100 percent, you can experience joy, and your heart is healed completely to the point that you are ready to enter another relationship and love another person if you were to meet somebody. I think there will always be a little pain, at least that's what the wiser LSers have told me. It has potential to be a great kick in the a$$ in future relationships.
Author GreenPolicy Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 I think there will always be a little pain, at least that's what the wiser LSers have told me. It has potential to be a great kick in the a$$ in future relationships. That's what I thought, that in the distant future, whenever her memory surfaces, I will feel an ache, because of what we had and the seeming promise of the future, and then how it ended. Now with my ex-ex, I am friendly with her and have no romantic feelings. We are friends on facebook and might catch up 1-2 times a year. With Christen it will always be very different. I'm having a tough time today for some reason. I have accepted that grief will be my companion for a little while longer, and it's important to be active and get involved in stuff, so that the good things in my life are competing for attention, focus and energy with my grief over her. And hopefully over time those good things will overtake that grief.
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